Empty Being

Before I forgot, I just like this phrase:

But I think you have a right to know what it is you're not being told.
Wyrd Sisters, Terry Pratchett

Dunno why. Thought it was darn funny at that time. :P

Oxymoron: closely apart.

*****
Was reading Her World mag the other time when I was getting my hair cut. Too long, too hot and for all kinds of reasons, I'm sure.

Came across this article about women friendships. Read halfway so what do I actually remember? Not much. haha.

No really, it was about the type of friends one has. The many different type of friends one can have. It's kinda interesting, because when I think about it, I don't really have one single best friend, but many best friends to do different things together. And perhaps it's just me, but I realised that when I really really need to talk to someone, there isn't any a best friend to talk to. I just can't get the words out. It's just not me to be able to feel sad when talking to another friend. Hmm. But it seems easier for me to write about it, or 'talk' about it over icq. Less emotions involved, I guess. I feel more dissociated then.

I wonder if any of my friends have ever seen me cry before. :P

I bet they might have been surprised. Not that I've ever seen them crying either. It's just not like us chess gals to show weakness I guess. Mustn't let your opponent know too much or something. *laughs*

But I had other friends who needed my shoulder to cry on. It felt strange actually. We were pretty close then and we drifted slightly, and she called me up a long time ago cos she wanted to see me. I remembered we sat by the rink, and I pass tissue after tissue to her while she let it all out. I never felt I could talk to her when I had a problem though.

An ex-classmate once sat with me while I cried when I couldn't do bloody thermodynamics. It was rather embarassing actually. But I was just so sad. I had to meet my group of friends later, and I wonder if any of them even suspected that I had been crying earlier. Perhaps someone might have, he was looking at me rather strangly, and I doubled up my efforts to cheer up and avoid the questioning glance.

And when I am sad, I would just locked myself up in my room and cry. It's not really so much of feeling sad, but feeling self-pity and pathetic and useless. And to have a rational voice in the head chiding non-stop for making a fool out of oneself. I guess sometimes it's just another way to let out all those pent-up frustrations and emotions, and probably have to do with them hormones too. Most of the times, I don't feel sad enough to cry. It must be those chemicals. :P

I guess when I do cry, I just want to indulge in it ... so it's kinda hard to be comforted, for me .. at least. heh.

Coming back to the article, damn I must get my hands on it again.

And I must try to write to/sms Lin more often. I'm just feeling too into myself to be able to 'talk' to her. *sigh*

Now all I want to do is to pull out my throat and give it a good scrub. It feels damn grummy and sore all over.

*****
There isn't anyone 'talkable' on icq for me to whine to about how bad my life is right now. *sniff* *sniff*

I should go and get some sleep actually.

It's rather awful to be feeling sick, but yet not too sick. It's like neither here nor there, like having your head removed from your body, and not being able to put it back, except to whack it hard. Well, I mean ... whatever.

The back of my throat is sore, it itches. But it's not red enough to impress anyone yet. I've been on mac extra since yesterday, and too much of that seems to make my tummy uneasy. I've been drowning water like a camel, whoops .. haha, I mean fish. hahaha ... but it doesn't seem to soothe the throat very much. One side of the nose is slightly block, but not too block nor leaking much to make me look pathetic. I've been blowing quite a bit, yet not enough to have a red and peeling nose.

Damnit, I'm just not sick enough. And it's damn awful to be like that.

It's definitely stale-mate in there!

A very whinny post. *sniff*

It's awful when one has been looking forward to an early day, but ended up having to waste much time doing nothing, because someone had a very bad idea about something and made everyone suffer for it.

*sigh*

And I thought I could go back early, rest a bit and do some housework. The floor needs vacumming, the clothes need ironing and many other things need to be put away.

I only had time to wash the clothes and prepare dinner. Dinner was slightly later at about 5.30pm. The food wasn't completely defrozed, but there wasn't time to wait. I'm not too sure if it's a good thing to defrost them in warm water, but I really have no choice. Will know if get stomachache tomorrow. :P

But I must say, dinner was great. heh. Steamed chicken (a bit too salty though), squid and prawns, and vege soup. All done without rest. I'm dead beat. No strength to clean the house or iron the clothes now. All I feel like doing is to stone some where, like here, and to read my book later.

And I'm still ill. My throat is still sore, and I dare not even eat biscuits for fear of making it worse. *sigh* Maybe I should take those cherry tomatoes instead. :P

I'm tired, but I can't seem to rest properly nowadays. Been sleeping late, like midnight almost everyday, and waking up very early. Even on weekends. No matter how late I sleep, I'll still wake up very early. Feeling very hyper-alert, but tired. Just can't seem to feel relax, just feeling drugged the whole time. I'm going to have to pay for that sooner or later.

Ought to do more yoga, but did not sign up for the intermediate course. Because of some reasons. *sigh* Did yoga on Sunday, but ended up yawning every other minute till Wen looked at me strangely. *sigh*

sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh

I feel ... sigh.

sigh
sigh
sigh
sigh
sigh

Thy sweeth thooth

First it was the blackforrest cake at Baker's Inn. It has been like a year since I've eaten it, can't even remember when was the last time. Delicious, mouthwatering. I love it. And extremely fattening.

Then it was chilli crabs of the sri-lankan kind. The meat wasn't that tasty but it was very well made. And the chilli gravy was excellent, especially just with plain rice. I'm a 'rice-container' after all. And I sat there contentedly and dig and ate and purred happily. The guys finished theirs very fast, and us two girls were still sitting there slowly scraping of each precious meat from the shell, and licking our fingers, not wanting to waste anything.

I shouldn't have taken the potato chips after that, espeically after such a huge meal, but it's not very nice not to keep the hostess company. And the show was quite funny after all.

And finally hazgan daz cookie & creme with hot chocolate brownie ... absolutely melting.

Just three days.

You will show me some sympathy for my sore throat right? Damn, it's sore all right. :( Hubby wasn't very impressed, he couldn't see anything. But it's sore. It hurts. It hurts when I swallow. *sniff* And I do have some running nose.

I'm going to lose my voice at this rate. Preferably by Friday. heh heh. *bleah* Thursday also can lah. *bleah bleah*

Woof!

I love dogs. Don't get me wrong. Just as long as I don't have to wash the dog's backside, clean up the poo and all that stuffs. A small dog is fun to have around, like Wen's dog, Bis, you can clamp your hand over his snout, play frisbee with him etc. But a big dog is definitely overwhelming.

Hubby's friends got a huskie. A huge young highly energeric young male who doesn't like to be caged in the toilet. He practically bowled me over. And those huge snapping jaws. No joke leh. I was trying to get my hands away from his large teeth, not that I was trying to clamp his mouth. Surely no, you wouldn't think I would do such a thing right? So dangerous. And I was trying to get out of his way when he went skidding from hubby to me. And yes, he was trying to jump on me too! Bis jumping on me is tolerable, you know, like a little pesky animal, annoying at best. But Max ... more than half my height, it's not funny at all. I ended up on the chair, right at the corner of the walls, pushing him away with my knees. Bis sniffing my bum is at worst, just laughable. But having Max pawing and sniffing me is not a pastime I would like to indulge in. But you know, it's really nice to pat him. :) That is if I manage to do so and not end up with my hands in his teeth. heh.

Handsome big brute. He's damn cute. heh heh. Eighteen kilos in all. And the toilet stinks. Real bad.

Their cat could not stay in the same room as Max. She has gotten thinner too, those loose fur, since we last saw her. Must be all that running around the house avoiding the enthusiastic pup. Poor kitty. Sometimes even got locked out of the house when she goes wandering out at night. Lost her status as big boss now, I guess. But she still gets her way. Definitely the most ~teh~ cat I've ever seen. Extremely vocal. No qualms in meowing her opinions and displeasure in an extremely loud and harmonious tone. heh.

Being Happy

... is watching Howl's Moving Castle and falling completely in love with the anime and music.

... is putting the theme song on repeat over and over again, and listening to it with a silly smile on one's face.

... is leaning against hubby's shoulder while watching said movie and laughing together at the funny stuffs.

I think I prefer the song being sung by Yumi Kimura, except that I only got that for 48 seconds. I think I'll just die to have a copy of the song sung by her. :P Leave me a message if you have a copy of it!

I am definitely going to watch the anime again. And I'm definitely going to get the vcd or dvd. Beautiful movie. :) Of course, I think the book is greater ... but ... movie is good too. :)

Being happy ... is meeting up with old friends and talk about music and life and philo. Had a wonderful time with Xel and YS tonight. Both are back for good. And it's so nice to be able to catch up with them, listening to Xel's ambitions and passion in the world of dance and music. I'll never be like that, I'm a stay-at-home type. Perhaps in another dimension, there's a me who is just as ambitious and passionate about something. :P

Damn, if I could only get the piano score for the soundtrack of Howl's Moving Castle.

Now that Xel is back, I shall find inspirations to learn the violin again and maybe even play the piano ... once I bring my old 20 year old piano over. :P But I shall learn the violin first! I shall! I will! And now that she's going to work at the E, I shall go for some concerts and stuffs. :P And I'm going to get her to bring me around the place ... and all the secret hiding places. heh heh heh.

YS is still as crazy as ever. She had to go back early so as not to miss her chinese serial. Err ... taiwanese show? Nah ... unfortunately we couldn't get her to hang around with us for a longer time. She got into a car accident recently, and had some hip problem. Xel told me that when she went to see the doc, she asked the young, wet between the ears doc if it's going to affect her a) sex life, b) childbearing abilities. Imagine her saying that with a total air of seriousness, with a total air of airheadedness. And she still said she felt embarrassed about it. I wonder who was more embarassed. hahaha. Felt more like she saboing the poor chap! *bleah* So damn funny!

YS was wearing a really ... errm cheesy pink dress tonight. hahaha. I could be evil and put the pic I took from my hp up here. :P Nah ... just a strapless pinky dress with a BIG flowery sorta design right in the middle of the non-existence bosom. It's very ... errr ... her. Must show Min at least. heh heh. But the impact is not there, you just have to see it with your own eyes. My eyes popped out, as a matter of fact. I had to lean against Xel to stop from falling over backwards.

The music from Howl's Moving Castle makes me feel like twirling around and dance. :)

And YS's favourite phrase tonight was ... kawai desu ne! *falls completely backwards*

And I love the main theme of the song. Gonna try to pick up the tune on the piano once I get my fingers on one ... and transpose it to the violin. :)

It was nice sitting out in the cool windy night, under the slow diminishing round moon, smelling the woody smell of a cigar, watching people walking on the sidewalk, listening to fire and lightning, and sipping a very interesting cocktail. Xel had two. She can really drink. I bet PM might finally find someone to drink with her! I'd have to agree with YS that PM can really drink too, although she always insist that she's just accompanying YS. heh.

I still think Diana Wynne Jones is a better writer than Terry Pratchett, although now finding some of TP's stuffs very funny, but still not as much as DWJ. :)

Life just sucks right now

I realised that there's no one I can crap about how much goddamn awful it is right now. I'm stressed, depressed and unhappy. Not a good combination at all. But don't take me too seriously. Gals always need to say a lot of things to get sympathy and pity. Hubby doesn't understand. He gets stressed out by me by what I say and all that. And he is just as stressed by the house too. Guys just want to have action and results, but sometimes things don't always work that way.

I just feel so sorry for myself. No one to talk to, except to my blog. I cried at work today, because I just felt so goddamn upset. I guess I need to do more yoga soon.

Yes, and I stepped on a nail the other day, and it hurts like hell, still. Floor cannot be done yet because it cracked again. Walls have cracked again. It's just so depressing, isn't it?

Work sucks as well. One cannot punish them, one cannot scold them, one cannot stalk off the class in anger. And one cannot be late for work. And just the other day, I read in the newspapers more articles demeaning the profession. I wonder what I am doing. It's simply too demoralising and depressing.

Bloody arsehole of a student dropped his heavy textbook on my feet and took off a piece of skin with it. Damn bloody painful too. And why did that happen? Because they were playing and swirling books around and all that crap. I wish to give him a good tight slap at the sight of his blothcy ugly ape of a face.

Idiots and morons and fucking rude selfish stupid monsters.

They can all fail and go to hell for all I care. Why do I bother to talk until I become hoarse? Why do I bother to even talk to them? Bah.

rant mode on

Conversation with a friend on ICQ: (somewhat edited)

I: oh ya .. my mom complaining her hip always painful ... should i send her to see ortho?
A: hip ah? yup... should come here.... get an x-ray.... or see polyclinic first and get x-ray first....
I: oh ya .. but the doc at poly says it's nothing, some nerve only.
A: got x-ray done ah? bring it along so i can see it loh....
I: the poly doc says if she wants her x ray must pay full price or something.
A: hmmm.... then get referral to come and see ttsh loh....
I: can ah .. ask them to refer her to ttsh ortho?
I: think my aunties recommending her to see some chinese physician.
I: they are disillusioned with the medical treatment in singapore.
A: up to her lah.... no point seeing us if she don't believe in us.... let her see whoever she wants.... really...
A: but she needs to believe in the meds and comply with treatment before it will work.... sigh....
I: it's not that she doesn't believe in u .. but the poly doc say : no cure one .. it's the nerves ... gave her some vitamin B ... tell her she can do nothing, dun give her her x rays .. ask her to come back in couple of months when he not around because he rotate to another clinic ... how u expect her to believe?
A: well, if that's what he says, it could be a back pain sort of problem.... like slip disc.... which needs physiotherapy.... physiotherapy works more than vitamin b
I: ya .. but he also never refer her anywhere .. ask her to go back when he not around ... and that's it. so how? see the poly doc again? i wonder who's the quack
A: sigh.... then go back and see another dr.....
I: and then what? same thing happen?
I: they all don't care one lah.

That's what life is like here in Spore.

Everything speaks of money. Even justice is expensive (quote from another friend).

And if I bring my mom to see my friend in ortho, she'll be charged private rates which is like sky high. Till now, I have not claimed a single cent for my hospitalisation that time. Life sure as hell sucks.

I hate this world. I hate the G. Legal corruption. bah.

Murder with intent.

I'm feeling murderous tonight.

The walls have cracked again. The floor is still damaged. It's very hard to have dinner without a proper dining table. The weather sucks, hot, smoky and goddamn awful. The kids are extremely tiring and horrible. I wish to strangle each and everyone of them and strike all others with lightning. Grrr.

Sometimes I just hate this place. This here and now. I hate everyone.

One minute miracle

I can't play with a time control of thirty minutes! Wasn't it supposed to be an hour each? DOH.

Anyway, I've told them to let me off in the morning so that I can go for yoga. At ten in the morning, the captain frantically called me and asked me to come down since they were short of one player.

I had to oblige since I did tell them to let me know if they need me. So off I went. I figured that the first game would have to be a walkover, and Captain said that at least can play the second game. So... okie.

I bumped into an old friend there who brought me to the playing room. He kindly showed me where I was playing, and when he saw my clock, he said, hey, there's still slightly more than a minute left on your clock, why don't you just start playing? I was surprised since I thought it was already a walkover, and in the muddle, I sat down, and started. To my surprise, the opponent played moves like e4, h2, g2 .... huh?! What the? Just pushing pawns and waiting for my time to run out? Ya right, in your dreams. Whack whack wham wham ... and I managed to checkmate him with 26 seconds left on my clock. heh heh heh.

I was playing extremely fast, and I left a queen hanging somewhere. But he didn't see it, and I sure as hell didn't see that either! My team called that the one minute miracle. hahaha. That was so freaky! *bleah*

The rest of the games didn't go so well. 30 minutes is too fast for me against players of my standard and better. And bloody captain put me on the first board and himself on the fourth. That's bullying as a matter of fact. My second opponent thought slower than me, so he lost on time. And for the rest, I lost on time. All the professors and whatnots. Oh well.

It was nice seeing some people again. Mr M is still as fat as ever, fatter actually. Isn't he going to lose some weight and stay healthy? Also saw a few of my juniors who have become sooo old, and some even balding. hahaha. And some people have gotten fat, and some still look the same. Time sure flies. :P

Swashbuckling

Ahh, the familiar feeling of butterflies in the tummy, fluttering against the walls trying hard to get out. It's an awful dread feeling, and the heart thumps wildly against the breast. Shoulders hunched, fingers frozed, but thoughts racing faster than one could think.

How I do miss those feelings NOT.

I forgot that the Malaysians liked playing French. And would it be considered unfair to pair me up with a guy? But then again, that wouldn't matter, would it? A gal could be just as good as kicking balls, or maybe better. heh heh. And why is the team captain on the last board, and me on the second? Gee.

To remember forever:
1. e4 e6 2. d4 d5 3. Nd2 Nc6 4. Ngf3 Bc4 5. c3 Be7
6. Bb5 Bd7 7. 0-0 dxe4 8. Nxe4 a6 9. Bd3 Nf6 10. Ng3 Bd6
11. Qc2 Bxg3 12. fxg3 h6 13. Be3 Ng4 14. Rae1 Qe7 15. d5 Nce5
16. Nxe5 Nxe5 17. dxe6 Bxe6 18. Be4 c6 19. Bd4 f6 20. Bxe5 fxe5
21. Bg6+ Kd8 22. Rxe5 Rf8 23. Qd3+ Kc8 24. Rxf8+ Qxf8 25. Rxe6 Qc5+
26. Kf1 Kb8 27. Re8+ Ka7 28. Rxa8 Kxa8 29. Qd4 Qb5+ 30. c4 Qg5
31. Qxg7 Qc1+ 32. Kf2 Qc4 33. b3 Qc5+ 34. Kf3 Qc1 35. Qg8+ Ka7
36. Qc4 Qa3 37. Qc2 Qf8 38. Bf5 Qf6 39. Kg4 Qf5+ 40. Kf3 Qf6
41. Qc5 b6 42. Qc2 a5 ...

I was running out of time. Only 3 minutes left! Opponent had 20 minutes left. He sure can take it easy. Blitz ah. What was I thinking of? I was one whole bishop up and I failed to exchange the queen properly in move 29. *kicks myself hard* Trying to be too smart for my own good. Trying to grab more pawns so that it would be easier in end game. What have I done! What have I done! *clutches head* Opponent was playing on my time. In the final last minute, I rushed to queen my pawn, almost didn't make it ... and managed to checkmate him with a few seconds left.

And it was a relief. It felt good. It was a win, I would not have settled for a draw.

Boy, that really felt good. I was so lucky to have won, before the flag drops. I can only play properly when I'm super stressed. Some people will never change. That's why I should not be playing competitively any more. :P And it was just a friendly match.

The Malaysians weren't that great personally. I knew I could beat him pretty early in the game, but I took too long to think. He wasn't playing French very correctly, and I made mistakes in the beginning, and he made even more. Perhaps a female opponent might have been more serious in her attacks. I remembered the last time I played French against a Malaysian female. She appeared to know all her moves pretty well. Otherwise, it would be rather risky. Or perhaps I'm just not so silly now.

But the rest of my team weren't that great either. I wonder what happened to all those stronger players. It's quite disappointing to know that I'm the only one who got a point, and another player had a draw. After all that hard work one went through. *sigh* ... I missed my team in JC. And I missed most having YS as team captain, and people like PM and Min as team mates. *sigh* :P

Min, wanna play in the National Women's? heh heh heh.

Ya right ... and with all those kids who has very proper training. siao ah. I would have to go around with my head in a paper bag like Charlie Brown. :P

Little things

I always sms in perfect English, since the dictionary is extremely helpful. But that also means I have problems reading pple when they sms me with numbers and one letter to mean a word and all that. So crappy! Sheeesh.

I have got Liszt Hungarian Rhapsody No. 2 as my ringtone. Very explosive and dramatic opening bars when the phone 'rings'. heh heh. Espcially so in a quiet waiting room. heh heh heh.

more

Getting smarter

One learns that ...

the kitchen cabinet doors have to be closed immediately after taking stuffs out, otherwise one's head will always get into contact with them bloody sharp corners.

spiders and moths have better get out of one's way whenever one is brandishing the vaccum cleaner, or be suck into oblivion. (I think my vaccum cleaner is somewhat stuck after that last moth!)

one is actually pretty obsessed with cleanliness and will go down on hands and knees and fingernails to clean and scrap paint off on the floor. Good yogic exercise though.

one has to be reminded how old one is by one's doctor ... I swear he is pro-G. Good grief. Everytime when I have to see him, I get 'lectured' to start planning for a baby. *rolls eyes* heh heh heh.

Terry Pratchett is actually quite funny and one actually likes his witches stories best. And he writes along the lines of famous stories, like Phantom of the Opera, Macbeth etc ... still reading, still reading. :)

one has totally no clue as to what one is going to play for tomorrow's game. Just hope one doesn't make embarassing bloopers like giving a free Queen on the fourth move. doh.

*****
Valentine's Day has come and gone. We don't celebrate actually, for I love him everyday and not just on that day. I cooked a special dinner, well ... a specially ordinary dinner really. :) He didn't have time for candle-lights and roses and soft background music and all that, but it really doesn't matter does it?

:P

Nevertheless, shopping today was rather eventful. I brought him a pair of bedroom slippers. Hardly romantic but I hope it'll be extremely comfy. And his favourite colour and his favourite animal. After all, he does need it, what with him ill-treating his left feet all the time by stepping on those land mines, causing blood and agony and swear words. He should be rather well-protected now, at least when he wears the slippers, he'll be watching where he steps right? For if he does step on those nails again and spoil the slippers, the wrath of a wife will descent on him. heh heh heh.

It'll be a surprise, and they are now by the door awaiting his warm feet. Shhh. :P

*****
Someone once told me a long time ago that if the husband is always busy with work and works late, and the wife is too free, such relationship will eventually not work out. What crap that all is. *laughs* That's just a silly excuse.

Hubby works long hours, but there are so many things for me to do while he is away. There's the house to clean, clothes to iron, food to cook, work to do, books to read, stuffs on the computer and even shopping. So busy! Time flies. I'm quite happy with all the time I have on my own, and it makes the time I have with hubby even more meaningful. :)

Like just watching him sleep and drool onto the pillow. :P

*****
Damnit missed watching Howl's Moving Castle over the weekend. When the bloody hell is it going to show again? *sob sob* Must get the dvd if it comes out. Grrr.

Blistering burning hot

It hasn't rain since December. It is so hot that I could fry an egg on the floor of my balcony. It was so hot till the park caught fire and is now a whole black mess of char. It is so hot that I could sun-tan just by lying on my bed. It is so hot that my brains are scrambled and my limbs vulcanized. It was so hot that the students finally climbed up the shelf to turn on the air-con. It's simply blistering burning hot!

I think our electric bills are going to be sky-rocketing high this month!

It is so hot that I can't even remember what I wanted to write!

Made sweet potato soup for dessert a while ago. Now waiting for dear hubby to come home to try it. I'll take a break after today. No more cooking for tomorrow and friday at least. heh. :) Going shopping instead. heh heh. On Friday. heh heh heh. :P

Playing chess OTB this weekend. It's actually not a very good idea at all, especially in this super hot weather. I guess I was just flattered that someone remembered that I still exist. haha. I was never very good at chess because I just could not remember openings. The only one which I know pretty well was the fried liver one which is only worth swindling little people, and it wasn't even foolproof, as M showed me once. And my favourite opening being the Gucco Piano, because it has musical connotation. Ya ... I'm that cheap. *bleah*

Little clumsy me.

I have not broke any dishes yet. But I've been hitting quite a few of them on hard surfaces. Good thing what I have are chip-proof. Not going to test if they are break-proof! Not yet, anyway.

So all I've done lately was to spill lots of stuffs onto the cabinets, onto the floor and onto myself. Uh huh ... got scalded by hot water last night. Put some aloe vera gel by banana boat, and it sure works! Too bad no fresh aloe vera though. Must get some from MIL soon.

Chinese New Year was a frenzy of cooking and eating. Been eating lots of good food mainly cooked by my parents ... and Wen's mother. Had prawns, abalone, crab, scallop etc etc. And I cooked lots too. On the eve, it was pot-luck, so I did abalone with prawns and mushrooms, and baby bak choy (I think) with three types of mushrooms. On the second day, we had crab meat balls for lunch. On the third day, I think I cooked lunch, after coming back early from work. On the fourth day, we had crab meat balls again. Parents-in-law came over for dinner, and I cooked vege and bittergourd with soup and another with chicken. On Sunday, I cooked fried Japanese Udon with prawns and lots of mushrooms. Today I cooked squid with bell pepper, and cai xin with lots of mushrooms and scallops. I think I should take a break from all these cooking soon. It's extremely hot in the kitchen.

Strangely enough, I'm feeling hungry right now. :P That's why thinking of all these food. :)

Tired, did lots of housework today. Can't think of what to write. Been reading Terry Pratchett. Not extremely funny as I had thought, but nice enough to want to read more. Hogging the books in the libraries. Can't seem to find the first couple in the series. Hmm.

I feel zombified.

Life goes on

On Saturday afternoon, I fell asleep holding kitty in my hands. He was sleeping peacefully on my tummy after his lunch. We brought him to see the vet in the evening, because he kept crying, and the assistant got him to shit. I guess it must be the milk we gave him. By night he was sick and restless. Hubby held him all night. I woke up at 2am, rubbed him with medicated oil, while he gasped for air. Half an hour later, he stopped breathing and was still.

It was just so heartbreaking. I guess we really didn't know how to take care of little kittens. I'm not going to put any more pics of him up here. It's just too sad.

But perhaps we would adopt a couple more cats - bigger kittens, when we've settled down.

I really miss GWC.

*****
Last night, we went to Wen's place for dinner. There was shark's fin and abalone ... but no bird nest soup. hahaha. Just kidding. Her mother was happy for us to come. More people means can cook more food, especially me and hubby eats a lot, and wipe their dishes clean. Gee, they eat so little! tsk tsk. But then, I am still lighter than Wen. We weighed ourselves after dinner, and she glared at me. *chuckle*

After dinner, we took Bis out for a walk. Happy dog. Had a delicious meal of raw chicken, after dinner dessert of cherries and oranges, and a nice long walk with four dog walkers. He gallop freely in the wild, froliking with the field mice, and chased cats away from their dinner.

I heard that he was a woozy when it comes to rats. He had killed one before, after Wen's friend hit the rat unconscious, that is. Before that, he was rather afraid to go too near the rat! The field rats in Wen's neighbourhood have a strange stategy when it comes to defending themselves against fast moving, cold nose sniffing greyhounds. At the sight or smell of an intruder, they drop onto all fours, rolled over and play dead. Kept their toe-claws crossed, and hoping that the big ugly doggy would get bored and go away. hahaha.

At the end of the long footpath, there was a couple feeding the neighbourhood cats. Bis ran up and said hi to the cats. The cats didn't like him though, even if Bis was trying to be friendly. Or perhaps Bis shouldn't be too enthusiastic with his greetings. Laughs. The people feeding the cats weren't too amused though. Two fat ugly people with a mind as small as a pea. Wen was 'scolded' for not keeping Bis on a leash. Some people are just awful.

The cats were extremely well-fed, read fat, and pretty. Not sprayed yet however. Hmmm.

I took some pics of Bis in my new hp. I'll put them up when I've figured out how to use the software.

We tricked Bis into getting into our car. After much entreats, he jumped into the backseat, and wham, hubby closed his side of the door, and I closed mine. haha. Dog napped. Bis had rode in our car before, so he wasn't too frightened. He must be thinking: are we going somewhere? Are we are we? Whee, so fun! But he was quite surprised that Wen has not gotten in yet. He looked around in puzzlement but was quite contented to enjoy the cool air-con. heh heh. Even after Wen said bye-bye and walked away, Bis still didn't want to get out. We had to practically pushed him off. He was quite sad there was no car-ride that day.

*****
Picture of beef steak I cooked for hubby. :)

:-(

Kitty has died.

I guess we should never have taken them in.

There is no god. Just cause and effect.

Driving Tales #5079

I think nowadays I can only go on and on about my little kitty. He's really very cute, soft and furry and smells like just a sweetie. Woohoo ... there I go again. :P

But seriously, I've been driving quite a bit again. Actually drove down to town all by myself and gave Min a lift home. Driving is sooo ... empowering. hahah ... I'm that kind of driver who can drive pretty fast. And curse people who gets into my path. Hey, that actually rhymes! :P I swear, you'd hear me muttering under my breath.

Damn idiot, keep to your bloody lane.

Do you actually know how to drive?

Bloody hell, I hate it when they don't signal before cutting into my lane!

Stay on your lane, bloody fool! Don't keep hogging two lanes.

Turn lah! Scared what!

Women driver. Bah!

Not that I'm a very good driver myself. hahahah.

It's actually very challenging and frightening to travel along the CTE. That's the most dreaded expressway. It's always jam, and there's always usually an accident. There are simply too many cars on the CTE. Just a couple of weeks back, when everyone was driving back to back on the CTE, a motorcycle rammed into the back of a car. The car was simply moving slowly, minding its own business. It was a terrible business. We didn't exactly see what happened, but there was a loud noise. And guess why everyone was moving so slowly? Ahead about a hundred meters or so away, there was a traffic police car. Stupid huh.

My favourite expressways would be AYE and ECP. Well, not when they are jam, of course. But there's a nice scenery on the expressway, and usually traffic is smooth flowing. Can drive fast too. A hundred and ten perhaps? :P

PIE can get quite slow. And PIE is curvy. I don't like it curvy. You can't drive too fast then. And PIE has changed a lot since my childhood days. There used to be many trees lining both sides of the expressway, now they simply feel like a concrete road, especially towards the central side.

And do you know that on the TPE, about every twenty bloody metres, there is a bloody camera on the bloody lamp-post. That is the most awful expressway to travel. Someone sees: There goes me driving on the TPE, going to Jln Kayu where they got the delicious roti prata. There goes me going to be late again and driving very fast. There goes me exiting at such and such. I tell you, big brother is definitely breathing down your back!

SLE can drive very very fast. Be careful of traffice police though. And it's way too long and round-about. KJE is boring. But it has a beautiful sunrise, where the sun shines straight into your eyes, effectively blinding you completely. Lovely. Sometimes there is a rainbow too, if you're really lucky. BKE is ... usually blocked by big buses and heavy lorries. They should be banned! Have I missed any else?

So I drive around the whole country like nothing. I've been to many places ... and it's actually nice to drive, with the air-con full blast on, accompanied by nice music or nice story-telling on the bbc. It's nice ... but I'm still a little frightened about driving. And I hate parking. period.

I'm always afraid that I'll simply drive bang straight into the car in front of me. Or when going around the curve, run into a tree. Or run down some pedestrains like ants. Actually it's nice to be able to run down pedestrains. And go over them a few times. back and fro. Hear the satisfying crunch. Like stepping on a dried leaf. Don't tempt me.

:P

My little Tom

The little bugger is now officially known as G.W.C ... which stands for Gangster Wild Cat. That's his name. My little Gangster Wild Cat. Cute name, don't you agree? heh.

Well, that's cos' the vet said that he's a mixed breed. Some wild handsome young punk cat must have rape his mommy. meow! So he's going to be a little wild one all right.

Take a look at his stripes. A beauty isn't he? Gonna break many hearts. The clinical assistant at the vet cooed and went goo goo ga ga over him. Even offered to kitty-sit for me. heh heh.



He's starting to open his eyes now. It was his right eye first, peeled open a tiny bit, shiny with a glazed look. Now both his eyes are partly open, but I think he's still blind. His ears were open on Wednesday, and nowadays when he suck his milk, he would twitch his ears wildly, to show all the effort he's putting in his feeding. Greedy little bugger!



Yep, those are my hands ... and yes, I know I've got pretty hands. heh heh heh. There's something about hands these few days. See Re-mi's hands. LOL


And that is GWC's claws. See how sharp they are! Scratches tough too. He's in the middle of screaming for his milk, see ... Cute isn't he? :)


And he certainly got a nice head pattern. Really an atypical gangster tattoo. I bet he's going to climb a lot when he grows up and probably enjoys jumping and parachuting too. As well as scratching on all our furniture. Perhaps it's still not too late to flush him down the toilet bowl?

:P

But I'm worried. He's not shitting much at all ... in fact, not yet today. Hubby is tickling his tummy patiently, and we've fed him with honey-water. But he's still not doing his business ... oh dear. Have to call the vet again tomorrow. I hope he'll be all right.

*sniff*

It's a boy!

Yep so it is. And a little wild one at that. Mix breed more likely, not totally the local tabby.

We finally brought the little bugger to the vet. Damn expensive. He was given a clean bill of health, got some expensive vitamins and a new tin of milk powder, which was supposed to be better and certainly more expensive than the current one. Damn expensive cat. Better stay alive. Also gave me so much problem, because the vet stayed in a very confusing place. I got lost many times, wandering round and round with a big red pail. Silly me. My feet ached. I'm tired.

At times we got rather tired of the feeding and the crying, and was thinking of disowning kitty. But he's really cute! Just ... oh, extremely tiring. Hubby sleeps soundly throughout the night even when kitty screams his lungs out. I lie in bed, awake but can't move my body. heh heh heh. No no ... eventually I do get up and do something. But it's just soooo tiring.

Oh well.

More pics of kitty coming soon. Just too tired to upload them. I am dead tired ... to the bones definitely!

*****
Someone called me up, and asked me to play chess again. Now that I'm home and feeling extremely tired, it doesn't exactly seem to be a good idea anymore. Besides I haven't played for donkey years. I'm not sure if I can handle that kind of stress.

One really can't run away at all. They found me eventually. :P

*****
Crossed thoughts:

Me: Dear ... they didn't move the sink back!
Him: Huh?
(I actually meant the washing machine)

...

Catnip

We picked up the kittens on a Saturday night, right after coming back from dinner. I remember I was watching Infernal Affairs 2 before that, which was supposed to be followed by IA and IA3, but we skipped IA because we were too hungry. Was supposed to go out for a quick bite, but ended up missing the whole movie, and half an hour into IA3. So the whole of IA3 catch no ball.

But I digress. IA2 was nice! Heard that IA was supposed to be best! Damnit. I like Tony Leung. heh heh.

I digress again ... :P

We heard the kittens mewing away on Friday ... and maybe even Thursday too. So we guessed that they were born maybe on Wednesday or so. The workers told us they had been feeding them since they found them without the mother cat. We took them in on Saturday. By tomorrow, perhaps my little pretty one would be a week's old. :)

The grey one was already quite bloated when we found them. Perhaps it was greedier than its sibling. And perhaps because of that, it was more constipated. I guess, at that time, I was still reading up on how to take care of orphan kittens, and we didn't manage to get it to shit enough. Or perhaps it had an infection in the tummy - its umbilical cord was still hanging and eventually dropped. I'd never know ... it cried and cried and suddenly went quiet and lathagic. We should have known better. *sigh* Next moment we knew, it was stiff. Poor little kitten. I hope it is peaceful wherever it is now, in a cat's heaven or something.

We took a walk down late at night and left it in the nicer part of our estate, just beside the fountain and the pretty lights. In a nice little box with lots of soft tissue. In the dustbin of course. Unfortunately, we can't dig a hole.

So it means we are more diligent in taking care of this little pretty one right now. We spend half an hour rubbing, feeding and cleaning almost every four hours. And make sure it shit and pee well enough. I don't want to lose this little pretty one. But perhaps it's dangerous to grow too attached to it now. It's still in the danger zone. When its eyes open, there will be more complications like infection and all that stuff. And it's quite scary actually. If it cries too much, we got worried; if it sleeps soundly, we also got worried and wondered if it's still breathing.

But just a little touch is enough to get it screaming. Boy, I wished I did not do that this morning! Had to spend a long time coaxing it back to sleep, after feeding and washing and all that! :P It seems more frisky nowadays, like doing all the scratching and crawling with enthusiasm, and at night, it seems to be able to sleep better. I hope that's a good sign. Must call up the vet tomorrow. :)

You know, the information given in all those webpages made it seems so simple to feed a kitten, but I tell you ... try holding a crawling little bugger in one hand who kept scratching at you (pain pain!) and squirming out of your hand, and holding the bloody dropper in the other hand and trying to aim the tip into the mouth, being careful not to poke in its nose or eyes ... I tell you ... it's harder than trying to break any Guiness Records!

Maybe keeping a puppy might be better.

This little kitty better stay alive and grow up to be a nice kitty! GROWL.

Hubby dropped kitty a few times ... and on its head as well. whoops. heh heh.

I did too, a couple of times. *bleah*

Eternal sleep

This is so depressing.

The bigger grey one has died. By the time I got home, it was already stiff. So peaceful ... but so stiff. :( :( :(

The little one cries a lot. Hang in there, little one.

Raising kittens 102

Hand rearing kittens.

This site is extremely useful.

I'm quite worried about the kittens. They keep crying now and then. And it's not easy to feed them. They'll be struggling and crawling away. We need to get a proper nursing bottle for them. The one which we've got from the pet shop yesterday was way too big for the poor little kitten. So I'm using dropper to feed them. But they keep struggling!

And scratching me!

I do hope they will survive. We've not named them yet, else it'll be more heartbroken if they don't.

:(

Raising kittens 101

Some good webpages to read on how to raise kittens.

1. Kitten Care Handbook

2. Raising Orphan Kittens

They're still mewing away. I've fed them, and got them to pee, but they are still mewing away. What am I to do?

Anyway here are some pics of them. :)
The two of them snoozing together.


The grey one. Big little bugger. Likes to mew a lot. Rather aggressive too. Kicks a lot. Scratches bloody painful too.


The smaller one. Hubby's favourite. Pretty colours. Starting to mew a lot and kick a lot too. Where they get their energy?


That little red coka cola box is the den hubby makes for them. Quite cozy actually, we've lined it with newspapers and tissue papers. And we've put them next to the fridge. Nice and warm. And I've added a warm water bottle in as well. They're both hugging near the fridge most of the time, if they're not mewing their lungs out.

Oh dear ... there they go again. What! I've just fed them an hour ago! I need to prepare for dinner, not to feed them again.

...

Little Rats

So we brought home the two little kittens. Okie, own up! Who's bright idea was that?

They mewed pathetically the whole night last night. I grumbled to hubby to check on them, but dear hubby turned over and covered his ears with his bolster. The next morning, we found the two poor little kittens soaking wet. The warm water bottle burst (actually it was a plastic bag) and the poor little kittens got cold and wet. Okie, who's bright idea was it with the water bag? :P

I read on the net that they must be kept warm, what. :P

The two kittens have not even opened their eyes. Poor little things. This morning, we got them to shit and pee, and they shited and peed onto me. I read that it's important to get them to remove their waste from their bodies, and we got to help them by stroking their behinds. But not onto me! Damn it. Well, dear hubby said the first stuffs which come out from them is sterile. Look who's talking. It's not on him Duh!

And we managed to feed them somewhat using a straw and some warm milk. Must get them goat's milk actually (according to the net), and must get a teat soon. They look only a three or four days old. I hope they can survive this. Poor little kittens. If they can, we're adopting them for good.

At least they don't stink now, after a nice soaking bath last night. *bleah*

Classic

Was watching Superman 2 a while back. My favourite. He looked so young, and now he's gone. Time flies. And gee, I didn't know that Gene Hackman was Lex Luther. haha. Too bad it wasn't the first Superman. I think I love the first one best.

We are now living in a studio apartment. All the bedrooms are not accessible anymore. The workers are hacking out quite a bit of the timber floor. It's kinda nice actually, having the mattress, the TV, the computer and everything else in the living room. It's really quite a nice feeling. heh heh.

Good thing I read this (the others, 28th Jan) only early in the morning and not late at night. I will definitely get spooked. Especially most of the nights, I'm alone at home till pretty late. eerie for sure!

There were two mewing kittens in a box by the site office. Poor litte ones, abandoned by the mother. Not sure if they can survive for long. :(

Of truths, lies and excuses

Ohh ... my voice is now low, sexy and husky. Bet I could sing as well as Diana Krall now! hahaha. I don't want to go to work tomorrow. I may lose my voice if I do. Besides I feel too depressed and stressed about the house right now and I cannot concentrate on entertaining monkeys and gorillas.

I shall have to think of something tomorrow!

I think I shall like Didactylos best. Ambi-sinister? That was real cool! And I love the part most when he was brought before Vorbis, stand accused of dragging the minds of men from the path of true knowledge. And Didactylos denied his belief. 'No,' he said. And sang to the tune of Vorbis, stunning him to speechlessness. On parting, he threw his lantern and it smashes against Vorbis's skull.

'Nevertheless ... the Turtle Moves!'

That whole part really cracked me up.

And that is the work of a superbly ingenious genius. Ahh, refreshing indeed. Totally unexpected. One hell of a smart person too. What is a truth or a lie anyway? They're just words that people want to hear. ha. They're just excuses aren't they? I shan't subscribe to that one.

Okie, so TP is indeed quite funny. And I'm always a sucker for authors who make references to my favourite game: Bishops move diagonally. That's why they often turn up where kings don't expect them to be.

Okie ... next!

But I would rather he do much more character development with his characters. Sometimes too many at one go gets confusing. Hmmm ... perhaps I'm just not used to the style yet.

I can just press with my fingernails and the wood cracked. That is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I need a lawyer. Can anyone recommend me one who can sue the pants off those developers who took all the money but end up with shoddy work?

And speaking of chess, during the two weeks without internet connection, I forgot that I was playing in chessworld, and lost a game on time. Bloody fool me. That is what one gets when one grows older. Just the other day, I was talking to some colleagues and they even reminded me that I'm one year older this year. I was quite insistent that I was only one year younger. heh. Ahh, but I feel and look like five years younger! The trials of being an adult. *sigh* ... that which I have to settle the problem of the house right now.

The study room is now a happy bright sunny yellow colour. All it needs is for hubby to paint a pretty sunflower for me. :) He did say he'll do it, didn't you dearest? :P

So now they're playing CNY songs everyday in the shopping centres and department stores. Poor hubby gets zombified by all those tunes repeating over and over again for the thirteen hours he has to work. That is blatant mind-washing torture. You think the ginger beer torture is bad? Wait till you get the Chinese New Year tunes torture. They're damn irritating and loud and awful. And poor me, the poor wife who guaiguai stays at home but gets a earful of the songs when dear hubby comes home and SINGS to me the CNY songs. *rolls eyes*

*bleah*

The floor cracked from side to side

I want blood.

I am so fucking mad.

And yes, someone is going to pay with their blood.

What the fucking hell does it mean? The ominous cracking noises we heard at night, and in the day when it was quiet, have finally shown their true colour. The floor runneth in cracks. And not just one room. ALL of them! Them fucking workmanship.

I am so stressed and distressed. Furniture will be coming in on Sat. Things are going to get real messy when the stuffs come in. How are they going to repair all their shoddy workmanship like this? What are they going to do? Hack out all the floor and redo? I tell you, it's really awful. *sob*

I am so fucking mad.

And yes, I want blood.

Tomorrow.

*****
I've finished reading Small Gods. Quite a nice read. Love turtles and tortoises actually. Is there actually a difference between a turtle and a tortoise? I always thought turtles have flippers but tortoises have toes, turtles fly in the ocean but tortoises crawl in the desert, but someone said it's the size. Hmm. And how about terrapins? But I digress. Book was pretty well written. Much philosophical. Too cheem for me to think too deep since I am still sick. The style of writing kinda reminds me of someone's blogging. Not much originality in there, if you ask me. Ha. I supposed, imitation is the best form of flattery. Or perhaps one's favourite author does rub off on oneself after a while. heh heh.

In terms of humour, there were pretty good stuffs as well, much more in Small Gods than in Night Watch. However, I still think David Eddings and his gods are funnier. Well, at least the earlier DE's books. Never did quite read and liked the later ones.

And so I grow old and become more crotchety. A small crotchety old lady knitting by the moonlight. Cross her path wrongly and woe befall the victim, with a long wooden needle poked into your eyes for emphasis.

And speaking about the moon, the moon was rather round last night. And it shone through the windows, bright and silvery in the middle of the night. There was a magical feel to it, all the tress and buildings and construction cranes bathing in the mysterious silver light. I tucked my dear hubby in and cuddled back to sleep. Flatze Cato always ended up sleeping on the floor. Don't look at me. I wasn't the one who kicked him there!

*****
It is absolutely unacceptable. Mad I am, and furious I will be. There is now a bigger hole. Rotten wood they used. Damn them all to hell. And we all know that the G is corrupt, don't we?

Bah.

hack hack cough cough

So my doc gave me two days of MC. I think I must have looked quite sick. Got difficulty breathing too. It's all that talking in a loud voice which I had to do. Good thing I never had asthma before. I used to be very strong and healthy when I was young, but nowadays, even walking in the freezer section of a supermarket is enough to send me shivering and whimpering away. So cold!

Well, he said there's a tightness in my lungs. Not too sure what that means, something to do with all the phelgm. I really ought to take my medicine tonight. Like my parents, I don't believe in taking medicine until I become extremely ill. Hubby rolls his eyes clockwise and anti-clockwise. :P Did I mention that I love my hubby very very much and I'm so lucky to have him? He is taking very good care of me! :)

And my doc asked me if I was planning to have kids soon. I was a bit shocked by the question, and gave him a horrified look and said 'no!' sharply. I think he looked rather amused by my reaction, and I quickly amended it to maybe in about one or two years time. You see, when one is sick, one doesn't expect such a question! :P Besides one is up to one's neck with the new house and the new school. Can't do too much.

:P

I really should get more rest and not run around. Or eat chocolates. *bleah* The panadol tasted really awful last night, well, it's not really panadol ... it's another kind, and when I crushed it to take it, it was so awfully bad, worse than the normal panadol, that I had to put in a piece of chocolate in to overcome the taste. Urrgh. :P I can usually take crushed panadol without batting an eye-lid. Am so used to that bitter taste, but this is worse. Truely.

Had finished reading Nightwatch. Okie book. Not particularly very funny or witty. Hmmm. Story sounds very cliche. Very normal. Whoops, hope I don't offend any fans out there. tee heh heh. Just started reading Small Gods. Seems quite promising, but kinda reminds me of David Eddings. Or ... someone else?

Les miserable

Nothing much to write about except that I'm still ill. Went back to work this morning, but after about an hour, was feeling breathless and full of phlegm. Also had a constricted feeling in the lungs, felt rather light-headed and broke out in cold sweat. Decided not to continue anymore, but to go home and sleep.

There is a flu virus going around in school. I've never felt this bad before, only that time when I first started my job. Guess my body is still trying to get used to the new surroundings, and saying hi to its resident germs. New place, new germs. Ah well.

So I came home to my mom. Didn't feel like sleeping anymore, since it makes my head even heavier. Guess I should really take my medicine, and not stop just because the symptoms had diminished. Did I mention I hate taking medcine? I choked on the stupid panadol yesterday!

Taking this stupid cough syrup makes my heart beats super fast. duh.

*****
Everyone seems to be giving their views on fine dining. I shall contribute my two cents on it too. :P

To me, most importantly, the food must be good. Okie, add that if I'm paying a hand and a foot, the service must be flawless too. Else why call it 'FINE' dining! I won't go back again if it's bad. Wen and I used to go around and eat. We liked Esmirada, one of our favourite places. Except that it's very ex, so we only go when we get some discount there. :P We've been to Jeremy's twice, both times on my birthday when Wen treated me. It's quite a nice place there, the food was very tiny in portion though, just enough for the two of us - bring my hubby along and he'll complain that it's not enough to fill him up. heh. The service was pretty good both times, but perhaps that was because we were the only customers there. One wonders how they manage to stay open!

Nowadays, however, we hardly go out to eat together anymore. Wen has to go home to her dog, and I'd rather spend time cooking for hubby at home. I guess people do drift apart after a while. She now has another friend to go out with, and for myself, I always go out alone.

The best food we've tried is still the one in Bali, at Alia Manggis. The home-made ice-cream is truely out of the world. No kidding you. And the food is simply fantastically orgastic. heh heh. Must go back and try again. The ice-cream, the rice pudding, the seafood etc. *drool*

*****
Stupid cough syrup makes my fingers feel a bit numb and trembling too.

Painting starts tomorrow. I hope I don't regret the colours we chose. :X

Whines whines

I'm ill. *sniff sniff*

I'm down with flu. It feels terrible.

I want to go yoga, but I think I'd better not go, because I'm really feeling quite terrible. But I really really want to go, because if I miss, the next class would only be next week. *sniff sniff*

*feeling absolutely sorry for self*

And I'm waiting for the painter to come. 9.30 to 10.30, so she just have to arrive at 10.30. GROWL........

I knew I felt sick already after that awful day. It's all those stress and dust. I'm definitely not going to work tomorrow.

*blows nose*

*feeling extremely miserable*

Little truths of the week

"Problem shared is problem halved,
Food shared is doubly enjoyed."
... from the wise sayings of a cat ... maow!

If one can't bring one's piano over yet, then one shall bring one's violin to screech on. maow!

Knives are sharp instruements. Growl.

... to be continued.

After dinner thoughts.

It's such a damn hot day today. Curtains! We need curtains soon. Have not found any yet, haven't been seriously shopping for curtains yet. Curtains are going to cost a bomb. But how often would one change one's curtains?

Cooked lunch and dinner today. Burned my hand. Stupid stove airhole not very even, flames sprouting high up on one side. Stupid stupid. Good thing I didn't leave my wrist in the fire for too long to cook. Now it just feels a bit tender. Grrr.

Cooking isn't easy. The preparation takes a long while. My nose is now desensitised to the smell of garlic. In fact, chopping up garlic is much easier than cutting ginger. You see, for the garlic, one just need to chop chop hazardedly, but ginger needs to be sliced thinly. I've not acheived the skill level of Master Yan. So it takes hell of a time to slice a ginger, with me and my big fat fingers in the way. But hey, I love cooking! :)

So I'm always thinking and planning of what to cook next. :) It's always a meat dish, a vege and a soup. Just enough for the two of us. Sometimes an egg omelette is good too. We had fried prawns and mushroom fritters (aka tempura style but using plain flour instead of tempura), some over-steamed vege and raddish soup for lunch; grilled chicken wings, stir-fry vege and soup for dinner. They're actually pretty good. heh heh. Hubby loves it. And it actually tasted pretty good for a fussy eater like me. :P

Fruits later.

And maybe ice-cream.

So I'm down with flu actually. And it really makes me extremely hungry. I've been eating lots of stuffs in between, which isn't really very good for my throat. Perhaps if I'm still sick on Monday, I can take sick leave? :P haha. Mustn't start on that. Evil me.

Wen is getting another dog. A female one this time. And to be flown from Aus too. Another greyhound, if I get it correct. Pretty too. Saw her pics, really cute. :) She's going to be extremely busy now. I told her, too bad Bis had been ... you know. hahaha. Else she can start a family soon.

Life is just good. To be contented is to be happy, perhaps. :)

Unabashed praise

Did I ever mention that my new place is BEAUTIFUL? :)

Very very beautiful.

With a magnificant view of the park, and far away, at the horizon, we can see the outline of The Westin. Our view spans slightly more than a hundred and eighty degrees, and on a clear blue sky like today, the clouds seem tantalizing low. I could just about reach out my fingers and pluck a woolly mammoth to help me clean those blasted windows.

At night, the stars come alive, sparkling and twinkling with amusement at two silly mortals who kept trying to strain their necks. I would shoot the red danger light though, if I could ... but an airplane might mistake me for its landing spot. Till we clean out the terrace and lay a mat then.

The wind visits us every day, rushing in from the living room and passing through all all the other rooms before exiting with a flourish to somewhere secret. It dances through my hair, and flutters the laundry and leaves a trail of dust on the floor. Thank you. For me to clean almost every day.

Lunch is ready. A simple meal consisting of a cod fish, a mushroom omelette and a vegetable soup. Now it is waiting for my dearest one to quickly come home and sample my great cooking. Gee ... I must admit, I cook pretty well. heh heh. :P

But a lot of hardwork does go into it. And to self: never ever cut ginger when one has an open wound. Yikes, it sure stings!

And I'm actually reading Terry Pratchett's Night Watch, due tomorrow. Is it any good?

Thursday! At last!

Internet connection at long last!

Bwahahaha!

Gee, after moving to my new place, it feels like totally disconnected from the world. No telephone, no internet, and all my friends seem to have gone to ground. But it was nice ... spending all my time with my dearest hubby. :)

So I cook, and clean ... and he washes the clothes. heh heh.

I confess ... I'm a little afraid of the washing machine. It and I are not really fated to be together. I'm not the kind of girl who hangs around the washing machine, full of curiousity to know how it works. Unlike my older brother, whom I once saw a photo of, when he was a wee little boy, poking his head into the washing machine to see how it worked. My hubby said he did that too. Err ... is it something about boys and washing machines?

And so I have my internet connection and I can do my stuffs now. My work computer is so damn fishy slow, and I can feel eyes grinding into my back everytime I use it. What an awful feeling!

Third week has come and gone. Thank god tomorrow is a holiday.

*****
Time economics (16th January)

I'm glad that the kitchen is tiny. I can mop the place in less than 5 minutes. And we're talking about getting down on hands and knees - a cursory swipe though.

In times of great need, I found that I can actually shampoo, condition, soap, rinse, wash and dry, all under fifteen minutes; including, as a bonus, breathing water into the nose.

That's no mean feat (the short time I mean, not the nose part), considering that us women usually take forever to make ourselves clean. A friend once expressed doubt that one could clean oneself so fast ... but hey, this is only a rare occurrence, and only when I'm in a great hurry.

The saying goes like this: the nearer you live to your workplace, the later you will be for your work. *pause to ingest profound statement* ... Hubby says: the mountain is far for the Emperor. How true.

For every one more minute lying in bed, that amounts to almost one more minute too close to being late.

Ahh, but what bliss it is not to go to work. :P

Thursday ...

If all goes well ... then will I get my internet connection.

*sigh*

I missed blogging.

The things I'm blessed with ...

My parents are the bestest of the best. They came to help us wash the house because they knew we are still wet behind the ears and probably not know how to handle it. I've learnt all about the art of house cleaning. :P

No one else would have helped.

Time flies. First week has come and gone. I'm tired, but nothing beats a good night sleep. I wonder where all my energy is coming from. Perhaps I'll weigh myself later to check if I've lost weight. :P

Still need to do yoga. Xena: Which day of the week do you go for yoga? :P

I hope my intermediate course starts soon.

*****
People are getting more irrational nowadays. I quote from Xena ...

"...I then got a sermon about the quake being one of the signs of Armageddon. And the point of these... signs... that have claimed so many, many, many innocent lives AND children? A chance for the non-believers to repent, and to believe. Since this was followed with a very meaningful and expectant look, and I was an outsider of the faith, I didn't think I had the moral authority to then ask: "What about those who died? What about those who BELIEVED? What's the point to that? ALL of that."

An earthquake, a tsunami, a volcanic eruption, a typhoon ... they are natural disasters. Read: Natural. It happens. As the world is. I think the Earth has been too quiet for a long time now, and people forgot that earthquakes happen when the earth crust moves; that tsunami happens when the seabed rocks. And inevitably, people will die because of that. It is all part of a cycle, a cycle of life and death, of renewal and change. It's a disaster, it's sad.

I'm just glad no one preached at me. heh heh.

This reminds me of Tin Tin and the Shooting Star. :P

I think for all those people who just stand around and preach, they should get their arse down there and help those suffering instead of opening their mouths all the time.

But what we can avoid are wars. Where people kill one another because of oil, because of religious difference, because of petty quarrals.

So I'm super dense. Does that really mean that if we Believe, all these natural disasters could be avoided? You mean we can stop the movement of the plates with a single collective thought? Or better still, the rotation of the Earth's axis with a collective breath? I'll definitely be as mad as her if someone said that to me. Poor Xena. :P

Ten and one things for today

1. I should never have smiled at them on the first day. Now I've lost it. It's going to be terribly difficult from now onwards.

2. I missed my kids from back there. I missed my form class from last year. I put photos of them and stuffs they gave me on my desk at work.

3. What do you do when the boy kept flipping a pen knife in his hands? I have to think of something else tomorrow.

4. There are always good things and no-so-good things. I think they are rather inefficient and extremely paranoid with security.

5. I am so very very tired but I cannot rest.

6. I was a little disappointed but I really don't care.

7. I was so happy yesterday to meet my friends again. Even though I was so tired and had to prepare lesson. Wasn't feeling very chirpy but just very pleased to be with them. Min is still wearing her red shoes. :) PM is just as lovely as ever. And we managed to get Lin to buy two pairs of shoes. heh. Thank goodness there are people like them in my life.

8. Xel is back!

9. I wonder what other people think of me.

10. I do not need coffee to stay awake. I just need to go for yoga. Damn, the next available class is Sun and my teacher is not back yet. :(

Is it really possible to sms wrongly to someone who is a complete stranger? Who the hell was that?

The First Monday of the Year

I feel sooo tired, yet I can't sleep. I couldn't sleep last night either. Feeling charged up, tensed ... and very much awake. So I have not gotten enough sleep and my dark eye-circles are starting to show. Need to relax!

My yoga teacher is still away. And there aren't any general classes till Thursday. Hmm, have to start looking elsewhere. Am definitely getting fat. Furthermore just bought a big can of Almond Roca. *fugitive look* (hide hide before hubby comes back ;P) ... and lots of biscuits and nice stuffs to eat for work. heh heh. Well, let's just console ourselves that there are lots of stairs to climb and many miles of walkways to travel. I will lose it sooner or later. *sticks tongue out*

There are monkeys and gorillas in the zoo. I need to get my mic repaired or get a new one so that 1. I won't lose my voice and 2. I will be heard. It's quite tiring to talk in a loud voice for a while. I'll need to 'exercise' my vocal cords too. Lots of exciting stuffs to do! :P

Feel crippled without a computer at work.

Supposed to be getting keys tomorrow. And turning on water, electricity and gas on Thursday. Maybe can move in by Saturday. Yay. Headache to think what to do with place. So may move in with bare minimum. It'll be better for dear hubby. I feel so bad that he's waking up extra early to drive me to work. I think he's the best guy in the whole wide world! No one can beat that. :) I am so lucky! :) :)

Some of my favourite songs :)

I liked this very much, but hubby doesn't like it. She has a lovely voice, and the lyrics are rather sad. Maybe it takes a woman to appreciate it.

I've never been to me
By Charlene

Hey lady, you, lady, cursin' at your life
You're a discontented mother and a rich lamented wife
I've no doubt you dream about the things you never do
But I wish someone had a talk to me like I wanna talk to you

Ooh I've been to Georgia and California, oh, anywhere I could run
Took the hand of a preacherman and we made love in the sun
But I ran out of places and friendly faces because I had to be free
I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me

Please lady, please, lady, don't just walk away
'Cause I have this need to tell you why I'm all alone today
I can see so much of me still living in your eyes
Won't you share a part of a weary heart that has lived a million lies

Oh I've been to Nice and the isle of Greece
While I sipped champagne on a yacht
I moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo and showed 'em what I've got
I've been undressed by kings and I've seen some things
That a woman ain't s'posed to see
I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me

[spoken:]
Hey, you know what paradise is? It's a lie. A fantasy we create about
people and places as we'd like them to be. But you know what truth is?
It's that little baby you're holding, and it's that man you fought with
this morning, the same one you're going to make love with tonight.
That's truth, that's love

Sometimes I've been to cryin' for unborn children
That might have made me complete
But I, I took the sweet life and never knew I'd be bitter from the sweet
I spent my life exploring the subtle whoring that cost too much to be free
Hey lady, I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me

I've been to paradise - never been to me
(I've been to Georgia and California, and anywhere I could run)
I've been to paradise - never been to me
(I've been to Nice and the isle of Greece
While I sipped champagne on a yacht)
I've been to paradise - never been to me
(I've been to cryin' for unborn children...) (to fade)

*****
The first time I heard this, I laughed. There was a narrative before he started singing. Loved it! So does hubby. :) I think I overplayed it though. But it's also rather sad.

Puff, the Magic Dragon

Puff, the magic dragon, lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honalee.
Little Jackie Paper loved that rascal Puff
And brought him strings and sealing wax and other fancy stuff, oh

(chorus)
Puff, the magic dragon, lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honalee.
Puff, the magic dragon, lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honalee.

Together they would travel on boat with billowed sail
Jackie kept a lookout perched on Puff's gigantic tail
Noble kings and princes would bow whene'er they came
Pirate ships would lower their flags when Puff roared out his name, oh

CHORUS

A dragon lives forever, but not so little boys
Painted wings and giants's rings make way for other toys.
One grey night it happened, Jackie Paper came no more
And Puff that mighty dragon, he ceased his fearless roar.

His head was bent in sorrow, green scales fell like rain
Puff no longer went to play along the cherry lane.
Without his lifelong friend, Puff could not be brave
So, Puff that mighty dragon sadly slipped into his cave, oh

CHORUS

Raining Days

It's raining again today. Usually I love rainy days. I loved looking out at the grey clouds, seeing the mighty flash and raw power unleash by the heavens and feeling totally safe at home, snuggled and warm. But I have been feeling rather down. Perhaps it's really the weather, perhaps I'm just stressed.

Lin is back. I'm glad. I got a earful of how the bloody airlines left her luggage back in Kazakhstan. heh. But it's fortunate that she's back here and not off somewhere. It sure is nasty to be stuck without your luggage! I hope to see her before she flies off again. And I really hope she's all right. Quite hard to talk over the phone.

I spoke to PM yesterday. She has finally gotten a handphone. Yay! Unfortunately, she couldn't remember the number and had left the hp in her locker. I'm still waiting for her to call me from the hp so that I can get the number. shessh. She told me she got the hp because of that time she fell down the bicycle when her pager went off. And she was so cheesed off that couldn't find a coin-slot phone to return call. She is definitely living in the dinosaur age! Heh .. well, whatever the reason, I guess that means she's more contactable, but ... I hardly think so actually. :P She told me the last time the bonnet of her car went under the lorry was because she fell asleep at the wheel. It's really terrible.

I guess I'm just getting more paranoid and neurotic as I grow older. I'm just glad dear hubby doesn't drive in that conditions. Although sometimes the way he drives makes me worried. :(

It's very easy to become paranoid and frightened if one sits at home all day and brood about things. I'm stressed about the house, which is not ready yet. Nice curtains are too expensive, so I can't choose the best. Even if I can, I won't ... since I cannot bring myself to spend those kind of money. So I need to do more calculations and look around some more. We're cutting down on the lights as well. Hubby wants to do up a room for himself. It's wonderful to see his eyes sparkling and him getting excited about it, but I'm just being paranoid that we'll get cheated by all those contractors and I can't help because I know nuts about renovation. I guess I'm just not too enthusiastic about the house right now. Especially work is starting soon and there's a million and one things to worry about. I wanted to move in and spend a week getting used to everything before work started, but right now, everything seems to drop down from the sky. I feel like the Vitalstatistix, the chief of the Guals, who always worried about the sky falling on his head. And it now has, on my head. Everything seems to be so uncertain. Like not knowing how the house is going to turn out, like not knowing if I can handle those kids, like not knowing if I can teach those lessons, like not knowing if I can handle living on our own and taking care of hubby. And many many more. *sigh*

Wen is asking me to go Bali with her again this year. I don't want to go without hubby, but he wouldn't have time to go with me. And it'll be strange to go with her and hubby. And I do want to go, yet I'll miss him if I go without him, and hubby doesn't want me to go without him. So how?

And so I dump the whole load of worries to one side and go shopping, but it just felt worse. I can't wait till tomorrow. Things always feel better when it happens and you just do your best and stop worrying about it. I must go for yoga soon. :)

There's always a rainbow somewhere out there ... and gold at the end of it. :)

The Rainbow Connection
by Kermit the Frog

Why are there so many
Songs about rainbows
and what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions
but only illusions
and rainbows have nothing to hide

So we've been told and some choose to believe it
I know they're wrong wait and see
Someday we'll find it
the Rainbow Connection
the lovers, the dreamers, and me

Who said that every wish
would be heard and answered
when wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of it
and someone believed it
look what it's done so far

What's so amazing that keeps us star-gazing
and what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it
the Rainbow Connection
the lovers, the dreamers, and me

All of us under its spell
We know that it's probably magic!

Have you been half asleep
and have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name
Is this sweet sound
that calls the young sailor?
the voice might be one and the same

I've heard it too many times to ignore it
It's something that I'm s'posed to be
Someday we'll find it
the Rainbow Connection
the lovers, the dreamers and me!


Xena should be back soon. I hope she's all right.

*****
On a gloomy and rainy day like this, the best accompanying music are choral type of music ... like a Requeim.

I need advice. Advice is telling someone what they want to hear. :X

Introspective Musings

It rained the whole day today. It seems that the Gods are weeping. Over 100,000 were dead, and probably many more. And many people are without clean water or food or shelters over their heads. It's a sad and depressing week all together.

This year New Year's Eve feels especially sad for me. I don't understand why there is a need to celebrate New Year's Eve. It feels more like a time to stay in with the family and perhaps to pray or just spending time together and think of the past, present and future.

Many many things have happened this year in my life. I've been happier, definitely. I've also been married for a year and 4 days, and definitely having no regrets. To stay happily married, one has to continuously work hard to make things work. You don't just think of yourself, you put your loved one before you, and never ever take things for granted. If he's hungry, cook him a nice hot meal. If he's tired, give him a backrub. If he's grumpy, give him a big big hug. Step on his toes in the morning for a foot reflex. Always shower him with lots of kisses. :) And always tell him 'I love you.' :) I love you, dearest hubby. :) :)

Every year, I will always resolve to be a better person next year. :P So it will just be that. :)

*****
Hubby and I have been having a little argument over a truck and a lorry. Think little Hammie in Baby Blues. :P Everytime we see one of those big vehicles rumbling by, we would go is that a truck or a lorry? I would think a lorry is much much bigger than a truck. Truck = medium size; lorry = large size. But who's to say what is medium and what is large? So ... what is the bloody difference between a truck and a lorry? *scratch head*

And whenever we pass by this road along paya lebar, we would see a shop called Nova. And hubby would never fail to ask, 'so is Nova the same as Novena?' And that always got me laughing. :P By the way, they're both furniture shops.

I wonder if Lin is back today, and what time that would be.

There seems to be some other people reading my blog that I'm not aware of. Perhaps all you pple who pop in from time and again would like to wish me a happy new year? :P

Happy New Year.
(And like a friend said:)
Pull your ear.

And like my mom said: long ears means long life. :P :P

*****
Pretty Burkies. But no thanks. :P

Apprehension

It's a whole different world all together.

I'm not sure how I'm going to handle it. I'm not sure if I can handle it. But it feels rather exciting, and a little nervous. First of all, I've never taught the N(T) before. Secondly, I do not have biology background, and the whole bloody book is on biology and physics. Thirdly ... yep, you've guessed it. Sex education. DOH.

Hubby grinned cheerfully at me when I waved my arms and pointed out the chapters to him.

I recalled many many years ago, a friend teased me about teaching this subject. I bet if I tell him now that I'm done for, he'll laugh his head off and give me lots of 'useful' pointers. Yep, him with that leer in his eyes under his skewered glasses. Last I heard, he was going to do surgery. Hmmm ... maybe I could get him to help me procure a skeleton.

And dear hubby is NOT going to run away with helping me out as well.

*puffs cheeks out*

Or maybe I should just get PM to stand in for me. :P She would know more about it than me right? heh.

This is useful.

And I really need to do some homework.

Help!

Insomia

I've to put this down before I forgot. One of the anecdotes the speaker spoke of was when she was a teacher at this top boys' school (we shan't name names here but we all know which one right? :P), the rugby team lost to their namesis, and the whole team bawled their eyes out. Gee. And another time when the basketball team lost, the captain sprawled on the ground and bawled his eyes out, giving the reporters a field day, splashing the photo on frontpage news. Gee. They were so used to winning.

Youths nowadays have got no resilience. Though, I wonder if the speaker exaggerated. I certainly did not see that photo! :P

And to think that during my time, we were so close, yet we lost to our namesis by so little. Nevertheless, we vowed to return the next year to trash them, it was so fun and challenging and meaningful. And all these obstacles caused us to be so much closer. They have been wonderful friends all these years. :)

Maybe girls are just better than boys. heh heh. :P

Pitter patter

It was drizzling outside the window. The old man sitting across me suddenly launched into conversation with me when I rotated my neck from the window towards him. He started to tell me all about the metre rule he was carrying wrapped in his hands. I smiled and nodded politely while he told me where he got it, and when he paused for a moment, I took the chance to look out of the window and avoid eye contact. He started speaking to the guy sitting next to him.

I don't like to talk to strangers really.

I guess I could have been more friendly. The old man looked rather pitiful.

This reminded me of the time when I carried my violin around the whole of spore to my teacher's house. It was an hour's journey on THREE buses each time. My mom said I was crazy. One dark and drizzy day, I was chatted up at the bus-stop. Some guy saw me leaning against my violin case (my case is those black and super old-fashioned one) and started telling me he played the saxaphone. Luckily my bus arrived. :P

Another tme I was on the way home with my big bulky violin case beside me. I was staring out of the window looking at the distorted lights in the light drizzle. The guy sitting opposite me managed to catch my eye and started up a monologue. I won't call it a conversation. I think he was a caucasion or an eurasion, can't quite tell. And he was telling me where he lived, what he did, and even gave me his number and asked me to promise to call him and all that, and all the while I was feeling extremely awkward and trying not to be too rude and ignore him at the same time. Then he asked me for my number and I decided I had enough and had to get off the bus. Bloodly hell make me waste money and time for another bus! Grrr.

:P

I think it really depends on my mood.

A long time ago, I strike up conversation with this old fellow down at kino a few times. He was rather eccentric, rather scuffy looking but was extremely knowledgable about music. We saw each other a few times in the music section and one day he started telling me about the history of music and lots other stuffs, about studying in London, playing in the musicial hall etc. I learnt a few things then, about operas and singers and conductors and another world all together in a far away country. I thought it was really cool. Sometimes in the afternoon, I would go down to kino and look for him and spend some time talking. One day, he was no longer there. It was quite sad actually. A friend was with me once, and he expressed shock that I actually talked to strange old fellows. doh.

I always thought that Xel would have loved to exchange ideas with him. I do miss Xel, I'm glad she's coming back soon. :)

And she owed me quite a bit of money. heh heh.

*****
Meeting ended soo late today. But what the heck ... I actually enjoyed myself. Some of the speakers were really good. I liked that. The inspiration and motivation was quite needed. I copied some of the nice quotes down, but left them back on my desk. Will put them here if I remembered too.

How different it all is from the previous place. Different emphasis perhaps. Or it's just me. I'm glad for the change.

But I can only move to my new desk end of Jan! Do I unpack or do I wait? Arrgh.

And I went shopping with Wen at the sale. Bought the set of knives (extremely sharp!) , a nice tempur pillow for hubby (since he kept stealing mine! :P) and a nice pair of sunglasses (which I don't really need). Oh dear oh dear ... now I'm truely broke. Remind me to eat only bananas and bread for the next few months. My kitchen is almost complete now. *beamz*

Everyone needs inspiration and motivation now and then. I wish my dear hubby could attend some of those talks I get to go for. They can be quite uplifting and the speakers are locals, not foreign talents. Sometimes I wish I could help him, especially when he is feeling overwhelmed by work and cynical by the way they treat him. It's a cruel world out there. Everyone is quick to complain and criticise, but when something good is done, there's no show of appreciation. So what if technology is better or life is more comfortable? We're still barbarians who do not care for another human's feelings. I was quite disgusted by some of my new colleagues who spoke about the tsunami. I can't quite believe when one said that the waves had washed clean the beaches of Penang which had been dirty and messy, and another said that the tsunami had washed away all those rebels, followed by a laugh. If that was supposed to be a joke, I think it was extremely tasteless. People died, whether they were rebels or what ... I can't say I feel extremely upset about it, it's too far removed for me to feel anything, but it's just so tragic and soo ... how do I put it? And such insensitivity just sounded so cruel. I know I can't help ... but can't we just show some respect for all the lives lost?

Life is just so cheap for all those poor people. Is there any meaning at all?

Sharing the fun and laughter

Very interesting articles to read here.

*****
Today Wen told me an anecdote about a very high class hotel (six stars indeed!).

Her ex-colleague went there for a business meeting and they booked some rooms in the hotel for the staff to stay in. On check-in, she was brought up to her room by the bell-boy.

The boy opened the door, stepped in and hurridly stepped out and closed the door. Looking extremely flustered and red-faced, he stammered, 'Err ... you can't go in there!'

'Huh?'

'There's someone in the room. I think we'd better go back down.'

So they took the lift back down and checked with the reception. Whoops, given wrong room.

After much apology, the bell-boy brought the ex-colleague up to another room. On reaching the room, the boy was going to insert the key and open the door when he suddenly stopped and turned.

'Wrong room again?'

The red-faced bell-boy replied, 'Err, there's a Do-Not-Disturb sign on the door knob'.

rrrrrright.

After more hams and haws, the reception finally sent the ex-colleague to the right room. A while later, the manager called the room to express his sincerest apologies and to ask if she had received the bottle of champagne as apology and good will.

Her reply? Sarcastically, 'Did you leave it in the toilet? For I don't see anything that resemble a bottle in the room at all.'

Whoops ... the bottle of champagne had gone to the wrong room.

And all these coming from a six star hotel here. And to top it all, upon checkout, she was charged breakfast when it was supposed to be in the package! Wah zan ... that was the last straw! They couldn't settle the bill and she had to rush off for a meeting. When she returned in the evening, they still hadn't got everything straight yet.

heh.

And to think that we're talking about a SIX star hotel here. A very expensive hotel where you have to pay through your nose. tsk tsk. That hotel had been in the limelight lately. And the service isn't all too great. We waited for almost an hour before they served us our afternoon tea. Because they didn't expect the high turn-up rate on a Monday and had not prepared enough food. HUH?!

We won't be going back there for sure!

*****
And now I can't sleep. Have to wake up extremely early tomorrow to go back for a meeting. Arrgh, was it all that tea?

I picked up my knitting again after one year. And I realised that I've forgotten what I was doing. Where the hell did I stop? What do I have to bloody do next? Wah zan ... never never stop knitting half way for too long!

And now Wen said the colour looked rather awful. Huh. That was what I said to her a long long time ago! And that time she said no what, it was quite nice! She's definitely getting old and forgetful.

And 51 minus 25 is 26, and since I owe her 19 she has to pay me back 7. There was something niggling at the back of my mind. I was totally confused. She said I'm a terrible Maths teacher. But I'm on holiday! Then it hit me. 26 divided by 2 is 13. I owe her 6. hahaha. I had the last laugh. :P heh. Then again, maybe I should have kept my mouth shut. :P :P :X

It was fun to go shopping with her. We haven't done that for a long time. I'm evil. I'm pilling clothes on her so that she'll spend more money. heh heh heh.

Chess wise. I don't know why I'm still hanging on to that bloody stupid game with me a queen down. Opponent has 5 pawns and a Queen. I have 3 pawns, a rook and a knight. He's going to queen his pawns. I'm running around like a headless chicken. *bleah*

And in another game, I doubt opponent is going to blunder and let me queen my pawns. So we've decided to draw. Oh well. I've lost one game, drawn one game and won the rest. As for the unfinished ones, except for the above, I think I can win all too. heh heh heh. :)

As long as I don't do kamikaze like giving a free queen again.

Yippee! :)

Over or Under

I wonder ... is it better to have eyes over-corrected or under-corrected?

Apparently my optician told me that I've been wearing over prescribed lenses for years. Well, okie, so I got to cut back a hundred degrees. Now, everything does look a bit bigger, but blurer. Like right now, typing on my keyboard, looking at the screen, the image doesn't seem as sharp. Even on the roads, signboards and traffic and vehicles all become a bit more smudgy. Everything used to be extremely sharp and bright. Now I'm looking at things with a different perspective.

I wandered out of my room earlier in the afternoon and was attracted to the TV. Didn't know there was an earthquake plus tsunami. It felt so strange, like watching a movie, yet it was such a terrible tragedy. So many people died just like that,so many homes destroyed, and so close to home. We are so lucky that our tiny dot of an island is well sheltered by our surrounding neighbours. It just need one big tidal wave to wipe us out. All those reclaimed land.

I wonder how xena is. Is she affected? Is she all right?

I've got presents from Min and YS. I really like what Min gave me. But then, she's reading this. heh heh :P ... No really, it's nice, thanks Min. :) I guess I won't have to worry about my make-up supplies for a long time now. After all, I hardly use a lot anyway. As for YS, I could see Min's eyes opening BIG when I unwrap the present. I kept telling myself ... it's the thought that counts. :P Right? Everyone repeat after me, it's the thought that counts. I really don't know what I'm going to do with that super cheena purse and that ... that ... ahem ... It's something that I'd never never ever use. For heaven's sake, they're sooooooooo .... I'm speechless to describe them. Hubby's eyes also open BIG when I showed them to him. All repeat after me, it's the thought that counts. I rather she didn't give me anything. Just to see her is good enough. To be real nasty, it felt like those stuffs are something she didn't want and just gave to me. Like those times when she 'introduced' guys to me. I'm sorry but I just felt it that way.

I told Min, I'll just probably keep them around for a while until the next spring clean and if I really can't find any use for them, I might probably throw them away. In fact, I left them in the car boot. :P :P

Christmas is over. It's just one more week before term starts. I must start psyching myself up for it. There will be the inevitable phD - post holiday depression - and I've to start waking myself up at five am. It's going to be worse this time, especially for hubby, since our house is not ready yet.

And do you know? It was only in the recent years that I realised the New Year is exactly one week after Christmas! dodo me. heh heh