Friday, December 31, 2004

Introspective Musings

It rained the whole day today. It seems that the Gods are weeping. Over 100,000 were dead, and probably many more. And many people are without clean water or food or shelters over their heads. It's a sad and depressing week all together.

This year New Year's Eve feels especially sad for me. I don't understand why there is a need to celebrate New Year's Eve. It feels more like a time to stay in with the family and perhaps to pray or just spending time together and think of the past, present and future.

Many many things have happened this year in my life. I've been happier, definitely. I've also been married for a year and 4 days, and definitely having no regrets. To stay happily married, one has to continuously work hard to make things work. You don't just think of yourself, you put your loved one before you, and never ever take things for granted. If he's hungry, cook him a nice hot meal. If he's tired, give him a backrub. If he's grumpy, give him a big big hug. Step on his toes in the morning for a foot reflex. Always shower him with lots of kisses. :) And always tell him 'I love you.' :) I love you, dearest hubby. :) :)

Every year, I will always resolve to be a better person next year. :P So it will just be that. :)

Hubby and I have been having a little argument over a truck and a lorry. Think little Hammie in Baby Blues. :P Everytime we see one of those big vehicles rumbling by, we would go is that a truck or a lorry? I would think a lorry is much much bigger than a truck. Truck = medium size; lorry = large size. But who's to say what is medium and what is large? So ... what is the bloody difference between a truck and a lorry? *scratch head*

And whenever we pass by this road along paya lebar, we would see a shop called Nova. And hubby would never fail to ask, 'so is Nova the same as Novena?' And that always got me laughing. :P By the way, they're both furniture shops.

I wonder if Lin is back today, and what time that would be.

There seems to be some other people reading my blog that I'm not aware of. Perhaps all you pple who pop in from time and again would like to wish me a happy new year? :P

Happy New Year.
(And like a friend said:)
Pull your ear.

And like my mom said: long ears means long life. :P :P

Pretty Burkies. But no thanks. :P

Wednesday, December 29, 2004


It's a whole different world all together.

I'm not sure how I'm going to handle it. I'm not sure if I can handle it. But it feels rather exciting, and a little nervous. First of all, I've never taught the N(T) before. Secondly, I do not have biology background, and the whole bloody book is on biology and physics. Thirdly ... yep, you've guessed it. Sex education. DOH.

Hubby grinned cheerfully at me when I waved my arms and pointed out the chapters to him.

I recalled many many years ago, a friend teased me about teaching this subject. I bet if I tell him now that I'm done for, he'll laugh his head off and give me lots of 'useful' pointers. Yep, him with that leer in his eyes under his skewered glasses. Last I heard, he was going to do surgery. Hmmm ... maybe I could get him to help me procure a skeleton.

And dear hubby is NOT going to run away with helping me out as well.

*puffs cheeks out*

Or maybe I should just get PM to stand in for me. :P She would know more about it than me right? heh.

This is useful.

And I really need to do some homework.



I've to put this down before I forgot. One of the anecdotes the speaker spoke of was when she was a teacher at this top boys' school (we shan't name names here but we all know which one right? :P), the rugby team lost to their namesis, and the whole team bawled their eyes out. Gee. And another time when the basketball team lost, the captain sprawled on the ground and bawled his eyes out, giving the reporters a field day, splashing the photo on frontpage news. Gee. They were so used to winning.

Youths nowadays have got no resilience. Though, I wonder if the speaker exaggerated. I certainly did not see that photo! :P

And to think that during my time, we were so close, yet we lost to our namesis by so little. Nevertheless, we vowed to return the next year to trash them, it was so fun and challenging and meaningful. And all these obstacles caused us to be so much closer. They have been wonderful friends all these years. :)

Maybe girls are just better than boys. heh heh. :P

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Pitter patter

It was drizzling outside the window. The old man sitting across me suddenly launched into conversation with me when I rotated my neck from the window towards him. He started to tell me all about the metre rule he was carrying wrapped in his hands. I smiled and nodded politely while he told me where he got it, and when he paused for a moment, I took the chance to look out of the window and avoid eye contact. He started speaking to the guy sitting next to him.

I don't like to talk to strangers really.

I guess I could have been more friendly. The old man looked rather pitiful.

This reminded me of the time when I carried my violin around the whole of spore to my teacher's house. It was an hour's journey on THREE buses each time. My mom said I was crazy. One dark and drizzy day, I was chatted up at the bus-stop. Some guy saw me leaning against my violin case (my case is those black and super old-fashioned one) and started telling me he played the saxaphone. Luckily my bus arrived. :P

Another tme I was on the way home with my big bulky violin case beside me. I was staring out of the window looking at the distorted lights in the light drizzle. The guy sitting opposite me managed to catch my eye and started up a monologue. I won't call it a conversation. I think he was a caucasion or an eurasion, can't quite tell. And he was telling me where he lived, what he did, and even gave me his number and asked me to promise to call him and all that, and all the while I was feeling extremely awkward and trying not to be too rude and ignore him at the same time. Then he asked me for my number and I decided I had enough and had to get off the bus. Bloodly hell make me waste money and time for another bus! Grrr.


I think it really depends on my mood.

A long time ago, I strike up conversation with this old fellow down at kino a few times. He was rather eccentric, rather scuffy looking but was extremely knowledgable about music. We saw each other a few times in the music section and one day he started telling me about the history of music and lots other stuffs, about studying in London, playing in the musicial hall etc. I learnt a few things then, about operas and singers and conductors and another world all together in a far away country. I thought it was really cool. Sometimes in the afternoon, I would go down to kino and look for him and spend some time talking. One day, he was no longer there. It was quite sad actually. A friend was with me once, and he expressed shock that I actually talked to strange old fellows. doh.

I always thought that Xel would have loved to exchange ideas with him. I do miss Xel, I'm glad she's coming back soon. :)

And she owed me quite a bit of money. heh heh.

Meeting ended soo late today. But what the heck ... I actually enjoyed myself. Some of the speakers were really good. I liked that. The inspiration and motivation was quite needed. I copied some of the nice quotes down, but left them back on my desk. Will put them here if I remembered too.

How different it all is from the previous place. Different emphasis perhaps. Or it's just me. I'm glad for the change.

But I can only move to my new desk end of Jan! Do I unpack or do I wait? Arrgh.

And I went shopping with Wen at the sale. Bought the set of knives (extremely sharp!) , a nice tempur pillow for hubby (since he kept stealing mine! :P) and a nice pair of sunglasses (which I don't really need). Oh dear oh dear ... now I'm truely broke. Remind me to eat only bananas and bread for the next few months. My kitchen is almost complete now. *beamz*

Everyone needs inspiration and motivation now and then. I wish my dear hubby could attend some of those talks I get to go for. They can be quite uplifting and the speakers are locals, not foreign talents. Sometimes I wish I could help him, especially when he is feeling overwhelmed by work and cynical by the way they treat him. It's a cruel world out there. Everyone is quick to complain and criticise, but when something good is done, there's no show of appreciation. So what if technology is better or life is more comfortable? We're still barbarians who do not care for another human's feelings. I was quite disgusted by some of my new colleagues who spoke about the tsunami. I can't quite believe when one said that the waves had washed clean the beaches of Penang which had been dirty and messy, and another said that the tsunami had washed away all those rebels, followed by a laugh. If that was supposed to be a joke, I think it was extremely tasteless. People died, whether they were rebels or what ... I can't say I feel extremely upset about it, it's too far removed for me to feel anything, but it's just so tragic and soo ... how do I put it? And such insensitivity just sounded so cruel. I know I can't help ... but can't we just show some respect for all the lives lost?

Life is just so cheap for all those poor people. Is there any meaning at all?

Monday, December 27, 2004

Sharing the fun and laughter

Very interesting articles to read here.

Today Wen told me an anecdote about a very high class hotel (six stars indeed!).

Her ex-colleague went there for a business meeting and they booked some rooms in the hotel for the staff to stay in. On check-in, she was brought up to her room by the bell-boy.

The boy opened the door, stepped in and hurridly stepped out and closed the door. Looking extremely flustered and red-faced, he stammered, 'Err ... you can't go in there!'


'There's someone in the room. I think we'd better go back down.'

So they took the lift back down and checked with the reception. Whoops, given wrong room.

After much apology, the bell-boy brought the ex-colleague up to another room. On reaching the room, the boy was going to insert the key and open the door when he suddenly stopped and turned.

'Wrong room again?'

The red-faced bell-boy replied, 'Err, there's a Do-Not-Disturb sign on the door knob'.


After more hams and haws, the reception finally sent the ex-colleague to the right room. A while later, the manager called the room to express his sincerest apologies and to ask if she had received the bottle of champagne as apology and good will.

Her reply? Sarcastically, 'Did you leave it in the toilet? For I don't see anything that resemble a bottle in the room at all.'

Whoops ... the bottle of champagne had gone to the wrong room.

And all these coming from a six star hotel here. And to top it all, upon checkout, she was charged breakfast when it was supposed to be in the package! Wah zan ... that was the last straw! They couldn't settle the bill and she had to rush off for a meeting. When she returned in the evening, they still hadn't got everything straight yet.


And to think that we're talking about a SIX star hotel here. A very expensive hotel where you have to pay through your nose. tsk tsk. That hotel had been in the limelight lately. And the service isn't all too great. We waited for almost an hour before they served us our afternoon tea. Because they didn't expect the high turn-up rate on a Monday and had not prepared enough food. HUH?!

We won't be going back there for sure!

And now I can't sleep. Have to wake up extremely early tomorrow to go back for a meeting. Arrgh, was it all that tea?

I picked up my knitting again after one year. And I realised that I've forgotten what I was doing. Where the hell did I stop? What do I have to bloody do next? Wah zan ... never never stop knitting half way for too long!

And now Wen said the colour looked rather awful. Huh. That was what I said to her a long long time ago! And that time she said no what, it was quite nice! She's definitely getting old and forgetful.

And 51 minus 25 is 26, and since I owe her 19 she has to pay me back 7. There was something niggling at the back of my mind. I was totally confused. She said I'm a terrible Maths teacher. But I'm on holiday! Then it hit me. 26 divided by 2 is 13. I owe her 6. hahaha. I had the last laugh. :P heh. Then again, maybe I should have kept my mouth shut. :P :P :X

It was fun to go shopping with her. We haven't done that for a long time. I'm evil. I'm pilling clothes on her so that she'll spend more money. heh heh heh.

Chess wise. I don't know why I'm still hanging on to that bloody stupid game with me a queen down. Opponent has 5 pawns and a Queen. I have 3 pawns, a rook and a knight. He's going to queen his pawns. I'm running around like a headless chicken. *bleah*

And in another game, I doubt opponent is going to blunder and let me queen my pawns. So we've decided to draw. Oh well. I've lost one game, drawn one game and won the rest. As for the unfinished ones, except for the above, I think I can win all too. heh heh heh. :)

As long as I don't do kamikaze like giving a free queen again.

Yippee! :)

Sunday, December 26, 2004

Over or Under

I wonder ... is it better to have eyes over-corrected or under-corrected?

Apparently my optician told me that I've been wearing over prescribed lenses for years. Well, okie, so I got to cut back a hundred degrees. Now, everything does look a bit bigger, but blurer. Like right now, typing on my keyboard, looking at the screen, the image doesn't seem as sharp. Even on the roads, signboards and traffic and vehicles all become a bit more smudgy. Everything used to be extremely sharp and bright. Now I'm looking at things with a different perspective.

I wandered out of my room earlier in the afternoon and was attracted to the TV. Didn't know there was an earthquake plus tsunami. It felt so strange, like watching a movie, yet it was such a terrible tragedy. So many people died just like that,so many homes destroyed, and so close to home. We are so lucky that our tiny dot of an island is well sheltered by our surrounding neighbours. It just need one big tidal wave to wipe us out. All those reclaimed land.

I wonder how xena is. Is she affected? Is she all right?

I've got presents from Min and YS. I really like what Min gave me. But then, she's reading this. heh heh :P ... No really, it's nice, thanks Min. :) I guess I won't have to worry about my make-up supplies for a long time now. After all, I hardly use a lot anyway. As for YS, I could see Min's eyes opening BIG when I unwrap the present. I kept telling myself ... it's the thought that counts. :P Right? Everyone repeat after me, it's the thought that counts. I really don't know what I'm going to do with that super cheena purse and that ... that ... ahem ... It's something that I'd never never ever use. For heaven's sake, they're sooooooooo .... I'm speechless to describe them. Hubby's eyes also open BIG when I showed them to him. All repeat after me, it's the thought that counts. I rather she didn't give me anything. Just to see her is good enough. To be real nasty, it felt like those stuffs are something she didn't want and just gave to me. Like those times when she 'introduced' guys to me. I'm sorry but I just felt it that way.

I told Min, I'll just probably keep them around for a while until the next spring clean and if I really can't find any use for them, I might probably throw them away. In fact, I left them in the car boot. :P :P

Christmas is over. It's just one more week before term starts. I must start psyching myself up for it. There will be the inevitable phD - post holiday depression - and I've to start waking myself up at five am. It's going to be worse this time, especially for hubby, since our house is not ready yet.

And do you know? It was only in the recent years that I realised the New Year is exactly one week after Christmas! dodo me. heh heh

Saturday, December 25, 2004

Happy Solstice

What can you do, when you know a person whom you loved is being abused?

What can you do, when you know the abusers are also family?

What can you do, when you know the person who is being abused can't just walk away?

The world is a terrible place to live in.

Friday, December 24, 2004

Christmas Eve

That was a rather depressing post. Nevermind. It's officially Friday now, and it's Christmas Eve. I've got a few things to do today, and friends to catch up with. :) It'll be a nice day when I wake up. Hubby's working late, so I'll visit him to have dinner together. Yay! :)

House is moving slowly. We've gotten them to hack out some tiles. Am NOT going to think of it for today at least. :P

There's a sale next week. Am going to bring mom shopping and treat her to ice-cream. :) Am also going to bring mom to see curtains with me. I give up on getting them with hubby. We can't seem to agree and we're simply not getting anywhere at all. :P

Thursday, December 23, 2004


My Grandma feels like part of the furniture now.

It's cruel to say that, but that's how exactly it is. She has gone so much that there's no response from her when you talk to her. She can't see, she can't hear, she doesn't talk, she needs to be fed and bathed, and she does nothing everyday except lying down or sitting up.

It was a stroke at first, and probably many mini-strokes which was never diagnosed. Add dementia to that and heaven knows what else, and there she is, totally oblivious to the world. She doesn't recognise anyone and doesn't respond much.

I wasn't always close to grandma, but I remember when we were young, we used to stay with her now and then. She'll make the nicest fried rice I've ever eaten (at that time mom wasn't a great cook yet), and sometimes she'll grill sotong over the charcoal ... and boy, I loved that! Gee, I'm drooling even now. She has always been extremely nice to my family, mom being her favourite daughter. She would also buy us clothes especially during the Chinese New Year as we couldn't afford new stuffs.

Grandma has lived through the World War 2, hiding under the bed when the soldiers raided the room, with her face inches from the knife attached to the gun barrel (there's a word for that but I just can't recall what it is!). She has lived through wealth and poverty and death. Grandma was born in a rich family and lost both parents at a young age. She was not educated because everytime she had to go to school, she'd hide under the bed and refused to go. When her parents died young, she was sent away to a relative and was ill-treated, and married off young. All her money from her parents fell into the relatives' hands and none for her. She was too little then. But she has always lead a simple and contented life. And she's just so forgiving.

It's sad to see her in this stage now. Four five years ago, she was still pretty all right. I would talk to her everyday after work, and a simple conversation with her, although limited, simply felt wonderful for both of us. I remember I bought her a birthday cake once, and we all celebrated with her, and she looked so happy and smiling. She shared the room with me, and every night I would tuck her in and wished her good night, and listen to her falling asleep. Back then she was already hearing voices in her head and music in the air. Sometimes I would buy back chay kuay teow or hokkien mee or other stuffs she liked and she would keep saying no need no need, but she still ate as much as everyone else. We were all very happy then.

Grandma didn't really want to stay with us. She felt that she should be staying with her sons instead of her daughters. But they didn't want her, and she wasted away with them. We only had her when the maid looking after her went back for her annual leave. They only wanted the maid.

I will always remember Grandma smilling when I promised to buy her her favourite food, and she'd insist giving me the money to buy. I'd remember her look when she thought she heard something and I told her it's not. She would smile and laugh when we chit-chat with her and tried to teach her some simple English words. There were times when she was in her 'moods' and you'd just have to be very patient with her till she comes back. Sometimes she would sit quietly by herself and listen to the music in her head and I'd just watch her till she'd noticed me.

All I want for Christmas is to see her smile and recognise us again.

Grandma is staying with us nowadays. The others didn't want to take care of her. We fired the maid a long while back and mom has been coping with everything. It's not easy to take care of grandma, but mom does it without complains. All she asked is for someone else to take care of her now and then so that she can go away for a short break once in a while. Two of my aunts try to help, but not the rest, not even monetarily. Mom has practically to beg them for the money for grandma. Yes, I feel bitter for my mother. I've told her she can bring them to court, but she doesn't want to. I think mom is sometimes very strange herself. She actually can't quite trust other people to take care of grandma. Sometimes I don't know what she is thinking about. She would complain about things to me, but she would never face the people involved. She'll get upset and angry, but she just couldn't be angry when she 'confront' them, and they'll just walk all over her again and again. I think sometimes she's just transfering all her emotions to me. Thank goodness I can still take it. Perhaps one day I can't, and I'll yell at all of them.

I hate everyone.

Wednesday, December 22, 2004


I feel overwhelm today.

Trying to organise my work stuffs. I think I should just throw everything away. After all, would I even be using them? Arrgh.

New house is giving me a headache too. I don't know how we can even begin moving in by end of this year. And we haven't even started packing, or shop for the main stuffs like curtains and lights.


I'm in need of cheering up.



:( :(

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Anticipation ...

is waiting for hubby to come home. :)

It's fun to go Christmas Shopping. For every something I get for someone, I see many somethings I would like to get for myself. heh heh. Hubby has 4 nephews and 3 nieces. I've learnt to shop in bulk without becoming super broke now. :P I remembered last Christmas, I just bought one HUGE board game for the 3 brothers to share and the lone boy a many-in-one chess set. The girls were a bit trickier, but it's more fun to shop for them. I got them little soft toys. I think the older girl didn't really like it that much though. Probably too big for a soft toy.

This year, I went even cheaper. :P I got a funny Disney pen which lights up for all the boys. Well yeah, I liked them lah. heh. Soft toys for the two younger girls, and I got something more arty for the older one. Hope she'll like it. It's never easy being a middle child.

And in between I got lots of stuffs for myself. hahaha. Whoops. :P

I felt like getting this super nice nail polish that day. Brought PM to go and see. She wasn't too impressed though. She asked me if I always use them. Actually, no ... I hardly do my nails. I'm awful at nail painting and it takes forever to get them done myself. So PM rolled her eyes at me. I guessed she's right. But I still felt like getting that colour. I always go gaga when I see nice pretty colours especially those in shimmering pastel colours, or when I see pretty sweet flowery designs. I'm greedy. I want them for myself and admire them. heh heh. Darn, and I hardly use make-up anyway. Priorities priorities!

Maybe when they have a sale, I'll just pop by and get it. :P And I like the gold colour too. *puffs cheeks out*

There's a new internet 'toy' around. Check out this wallop thingy. I don't know why my friend is so free to sign up for such stuffs. And some more to be 'playing' with it in the OT. tsk tsk tsk. Got time to blog no time for dinner. tsk tsk tsk. heh heh. Hmm, I need RSS feed to link my blog here to there. What the hell is RSS feed? :X

My holidays is coming to an end very soon. This is what I must promise myself to do tomorrow.
1. Wake up early and go jogging before making breakfast for hubby.
2. Play the piano after that.
3. Open the violin case and pick up the violin, clean it ... and perhaps PLAY bloody it. :P
4. TIDY up room and work mess.
5. Go for yoga in the evening.

*piak piak* Time's running out! Gotta do all these!

Ichky morning

It's a bright and sunny day today, however one feels gloomy and grumpy. Perhaps it has to do with a feeling of a hangover, although one was strictly non-alcoholic, it is the neck and shoulders giving one hell again. Or perhaps it was because one's dearest wasn't around today. Or perhaps it's just that one is feeling yoyoish again. *sigh*

So I tried to do some yoga but was extremely stiff, and didn't feel like pushing myself. My neck still hurts and so is my damn bloody right wrist.

These are the books I would like to have. From Book Number Three to Seven and the Contemporary Knitting. They're so pretty!

The wedding band has a dent in it. :( I think it must have gotten dented when I fell down that silly slope that time. The lady at the shop advised against polishing, as the band is already very thin, and they may not be able to 'remove' the dent. :( I got very slim fingers lah! Wen can't even fit it in her last finger. hahah!

HOD smsed me that the my class did pretty oki in the National Exams. I supposed it's pretty OK news. Never felt very excited about it. I just felt that it could perhaps have been better if the class had been split. It was too huge a class.

My neck hurts. *whine whine*

I just received so sad news. WAaah ... so depressing. *sniff sniff*

Monday, December 20, 2004

Cheeky Chai Detox

Mom made me wait for almost half an hour today. She could have called me before leaving the house and told me she'll be late, instead of making me stand there like an idiot. What is wrong with all these people?

The only people who are extremely punctual most of the times are Wen and Min. Min is a bit scary, she is too early sometimes. :P And if they are going to be late, they will always let you know. These two are stickers for punctuality. I've been spoilt by them. You know they are reliable. And guess what, they have the same birthday. Is it a coincidence? :)

Unlike PM *rolls eyes*, YS/LR *rolls nose* ... and now Mom as well. *sigh* When hubby and I were dating, he used to be extremely late as well. I'm sooo used to waiting for people, but it doesn't make me any nicer. Sometimes I just felt like walking away and let the late person panic and call me on my hp when they get to the place. Perhaps I should just do that next time. Grrr.

So I'm not in a really good mood today. But nothing beats spending more money to restore the mood. heh heh heh. I don't dare to look at my credit card this month. I sure am hoping school starts soon. Then I'll be sooo busy with work to 1. spend money, and 2. eat too much. I always lose weight when term begins. Bread and jam lunch is cheap and light.

I had a nice detox yesterday. When I said detox, hubby thought I meant sticking something into the arsehole and flushing the body of toxins ... err, did he really say that? hahah. Or was it taking some laxative and flushing the body of toxins? Cannot remember. I think he used some cheem terminology. But don't get me mistaken, I don't mean detox in that sense at all! Heavens forbade. I had an extremely nice massage (could be better actually, I can only 'feel' it if it's a deep tissue massage), followered by a wrap in some herbal chai thingy. Smells good, feels good and boy, I really felt lighter after all that!

Unfortunately we had an extremely HUGE dinner last night. Plus Port. To celebrate the Winter Solstice where you are supposed to eat tang yuen. I think my stomach expanded. I need more food to feel full. Oh dear.

Need to go jogging again tomorrow. I need to go for yoga too. Or better still, go for that nice detox again. heh heh. :)

Monday Bubble

I tripped on the steps and stubbed my toes very very painfully. Am hobbling now. My big toe still hurt. OUCH.

Monday blues - don't I know all about that? Promised hubby to come and visit him with dinner. Something extremely simply today. Lovely hot soup. He always love soup. :) And mushroom egg omelette. Very simple, and just to see his face lights up when he sees his hot dinner is good enough for me. :)

My father said that the taxi fare can pay for an extremely good meal. Oh well. Home cooked is still the best ya?

The bloody toe's still smarting.

I can feel the vibes.

Very painful! One doesn't suck on one's toes to ease the pain, does one?


Saturday, December 18, 2004

Early random school memories

I was quite happy at school. One boy screamed and yelled and cried when his parents left. I thought he was wierd.

I had a good friend, but I was not allowed to sit next to her when we took our class photo. I slouched, and was cast to the side so that the photo would turn out nice. Sometimes mom would be late to pick us up. I would explore the dark halls of the building and run around the place.

My father bought home the cake that night. It was a lovely blackcurrent one. I was excited and looking forward to it. During dinner, the box was pushed off the table and somersaulted onto the floor. I think I cried. My eyes were puffy the next morning. The photo was blurred on purpose so you wouldn't looked too closely at the cake or me. Grandma gave me the dress I was wearing. I celebrated alone. Bro had gone to school. Where was mom?

After that I stopped attending kindergarten when my bro started primary school. Mom couldn't handle both of us going to different schools, so I stayed at home for half a year. I do not know what I did everyday. Mom would bring me everywhere when she had to go out. I remembered the bus. I always liked to press the stop buzzer.

Primary school was exciting. We had to wake up early to catch the school bus every morning. I knew I love the rainy days. The whole sky would be overcast and the weather would be cold. Mom would hustle and bustle and we would hear the uncle horning below. When it rained, my bro and I would share an umbrella as we ran through the pouring rain under the dark sky. He said, tilt the umbrella at an angle in front of ys so we won't get wet. I think we got even wetter. I would splash on the puddles and ran down the slippery steps, giggling all the way.

My first fight with the girl from the bus. My brother's classmate, but he always just laughed at me when I was teased and bulled everytime. He would not be bothered with girls. I swung my water bottle and hit her in her face.

The school bus left without me and I cried. My teacher sent me home. I don't remember the ride. I remembered waiting at the stairs landing, sitting at the steps. Mom wasn't home yet. I think she went to pick me up.

I was always the first to finish my Maths homework in class. While everyone counted from one, I counted from the number given. Everyone's head was bent down in deep concentration while I looked around. Teacher was busy at her desk and had not spotted me. I quickly pretended I was still doing the sums but turned to the next page and mentally did the questions. I was never praised to be the first to finish in class.

After that I never bothered to look up when I finished my work. I would just continue mentally on the next page. Teacher caught me at that one day. I had to show her how I count. She thought I had a special method. I didn't think she was very impressed by my speed. She warned me not to look at the next page. I was never taught anything special. I learnt to daydream then.

We played zero-point in the tuckshop and catching on the road. We were always running around. A boy in my class came to disturb us, and my bro and his friends scared him off. I remember my brother pulling him by his shirt and wanting to beat him up. My bro was always spoiling for a fight.

I heard my bro was caught playing truant during school hours. He and a few friends crawled out through a hole in the fence to the neighbourhood shops nearby to buy sweets. He was still teacher's pet. I was famous because I was the sister of the teacher's pet.

My teacher sent me to carry the books to another class. I went to the wrong class and left the books there. I was terrified. I ran all the way back to get the books. I hated being the sister of the teacher's pet.

My bro was hardly around during recess. I love the ten-cent fried fish. Sometimes my friend's brother would buy for me. Sometimes my bro would do so, if mom nagged at him enough. Earlier Mom would come and buy for me and see how we are settling down. Most times I would go hungry. I never ordered anything myself. It had become a habit not to eat during recess, and slowly a habit not to take breakfast.

I was terrified when I dropped my nametag. My friends ran around the school field to help me looked for it. I cried when it was not to be found. My bro refused to help. My classmate offered me his. He put his hand over his pocket when we walked past the prefects and grinned at them. They were used to his kind. I cannot remember if he was caught. I forgot his name.

I was one of the chosen to recite a story to the school. I could memorise every single word of the story. During the rehearsal, I stood like a wooden block and recited in as boring a monologue as I could. They decided to get someone more interesting.

In my third year, I chose my book prize which was beyond my standard. They didn't want to give it to me. I begged, and my teacher relented. The first time my bro and I received a book prize, my parents gave us each a Parker pen. I had never received anything from them when it was just myself. I concluded that it was only because of bro. I was extremely jealous and unhappy. I still have that pen. Bro has either lost his or spoilt it.

For the first time in my life, I made a decision myself. I raised my hand when teacher asked anyone who was interested in learning the violin. I went home and mom told me not to be silly. She would not get a violin for me. I hated the piano.

They wanted to make me a prefect. I was glad I left then. I grew up a little when I changed school. I never kept in touch with anyone back there.

More eleven o'clock thoughts

Bloody hell, I hate it when opponent resigned on my winning game. Me! With a queen advantage. And I'm losing on the other board. I wonder how it affects the rating though. Maybe he has an ulterior motive. We both win one game each, but the person who loses first gets more points in the winning the second game? And I just missed a checkmate in another board. I can't believe how dumb I am. *sigh*

I am so tired right now. But I drank my mom's coffee earlier, and I'm feeling a bit zoned out. It was an extremely busy day today. We went to hubby's friend's kid's birthday party. Three year old boy, rather cute. Parents really dote on their kids nowadays. Funniest moment was when little boy blew the candles on his huge truck cake. Pfffft pfffft pfffft, he went, spluttering saliva all onto the icing, without really managing to blow out the candles in one puff. I think he was simply too happy and grinning too much and his breath (and saliva) all came leaking out between his two front teeth. heh heh. We did not touch the icing, it's fattening lah. ;)

Eleven o'clock thoughts

Razz writes very well. I am very impressed. Check it out here - breathe. I like her style of narrative. It's quiet, introspective and there's a power in there which draws you in.

I forgot to mention, this is also excellent. :) It simply takes your breath away. Whoops, it's the Wednesday, November 17, 2004 Post I'm talking about.

I'm reminded of the kind of quiet but intense narrative written by Harper Lee in To Kill a Mockingbird, one of my favourite books. That is a beatiful story, and so is how Razz writes. I shall now be her no. one favourite rabid fan! ;) Feed me carrots! :P

I quote: It's not about quitting, or staying. It's about you, finding yourself.

I liked that ... finding yourself. I feel that one can only belong to oneself, and not to a place and perhaps, not even to a person. What does it mean? Feeling belonged? Being happy? Or being at peace with oneself wherever one is? Does one truely need to feel belonged to a place? Or should one continuously seek a place to belong to, or a person to belong to, only never to find it, for it is only found within one's heart and soul? Are people looking at the right place when they try to look for somewhere to feel belonged? Is continuously seeking for an external place to feel belonged the right way of finding it? Or perhaps we should simply step out of ourselves and look inwards. Find oneself, know oneself, believe in oneself.

I'm not sure I even believed in all these, but all I can be sure is, I am happy and at peace. Perhaps it's my dearest who helped me, but somehow I was happy first after a long bout of unhappiness, and suddenly everything seems just there, and it just gets better. :)

And it's a beautiful morning today, and I finally managed to get my butt out there to jog. :P Now, to start eating less. Starting tomorrow, after tomorrow's special reunion steamboat dinner. yum yum, I'm looking foward to that one! Mom's stuffs is truely great! Shessh, I'm thinking of food and salivating. heh heh.

A sad note: They're cutting down the beautiful trees (Angsana or are they flame of the forest) in my estate! :( Said they're parasited and a danger. How sad.

Christmas Tree at Marriot :)

PM was late for one whole hour. She doesn't have a handphone so all I can do was to stay where I was till she comes. I called her at six, when she was supposed to call me before she leaves the house, but, 'what! Is it six p.m already? Waah ... I shall go and bathe now!' was the reply I got. *eyes roll and strike sixes*. Being friends with her can be a real trial.

But it's worth every single wait. :)

She's one of those whom I can talk to and laugh with. Who can give advice and I'd listen. There's real communication going on. I've always admired and liked her. And she's really funny. And ... she's not attached yet. So if any dear reader is quite keen to know her, can let me know. heh heh heh. She's very pretty and smart too! And she can cook. :P

Lin is also great to be with. She helped me shop for presents for all my hubby's nieces and newphews and friend's toddler and we had a great cuppa hot chocolate together. She's a go-getter for sure and I won't be surprised if she becomes someone important in future, like maybe even an MP.

I've been eating way too much. Need to go on a diet. I really feel bloated! Wah.

Friday, December 17, 2004

Getting my goat

I hate it when people gets negative. So I was telling my father that they had done an awful job out of the floor and we're going to speak to the project manager about it, who had promised to take a look and try to help. And what did my father say? Ohhh ... no use one lah, he can't do anything one, those chinamen only anyhow do, no point one. It's like that one lah blah blah blah ... and he looked so smug about it because he's the expert so there. Ohhh ... I was soo angry with my father then. I always hated it when he did such things to me. Come on ... so you know all about it, at least can't you be more encouraging? Or perhaps you could give us some tips on how to get things done instead of standing on your high chair and proclaiming doom and disaster? I was so depressed. This whole defects business is so annoying and depressing. I want to move in before Christmas. I want to start the new year in my new home. Actually I have to, else I'm going to have to travel a hell of a distance to get to work. Sheesh. Only mom is understanding and she listens when I unload my rants on her. Father is never, never, never nice. And they say I'm the apple of his eyes. Ha. ha ha. I spit.

Yes, I was that unhappy with him. I never did get along that well with him. So, forget about those happy lovely wedding where the father would hand the bride away. Ha. ha ha. I don't want to have anything to do with him. He was never truely sincere in my happiness after all.

Anyway, we spoke with the Project Manager who had in turn, 'scolded' the so-called supervisor, so they're going to redo the floor, fix the tap for us ... and hopefully do something about the tiles as well. *rolls eyes* I vented somewhat on the chinaman as well, telling him that he was damn skirting his responsibility and what the hell did he mean by it is like that and if we didn't like it, just send in another complain? Hell and brimstone, that would take another month before it would even be looked at! I dunno, I really hope they'll do it properly by next week. It's really very very depressing.

I know I'm working myself up to be unhappy today. But I feel there's this latent energy and anger in me and there's no outlet for it. I need to do yoga, but my teacher has gone back to sdyney, and the other one which I sometimes go to might also be on leave. There isn't anyone for me to vent my anger on, nor anyone I would wish to lash out at anyway. And hubby is busy at work today and can't be by my side. I just hate this world. And it is times like this that I just hate myself. And I just don't feel like doing all the things which I should be doing either. It is times like this when I would like to crawl under a stone and ignore the whole world. May it die a thousand million times.

Perhaps next time when I look back at what I've written, I'll laugh at myself, but right now ... I just feel like doing something destructive and extremely evil.

Perhaps I'm just hungry. :P

It's simply amazing how one feels so much happier after filling one's stomach. *puffs cheeks out*

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

The Tao of Chess

Playing chess has taught me many lessons. There are no takebacks. When you have made your move and hit the clock, you can't change it and take back the piece even if it is a bloody free queen, and you're screaming and frothing inside your head. Hmmm, actually not so, when I was little I would scream bloody murder whenever my bro ate my piece and I'd insist on a takeback with tears and entreatments and finally fistfights. Heh heh. But hey, he did the same to me too. :p *unrepentent*

I digress. No takebacks so learn to live with it. It may have been a bad move, which leads to ruin and chaos and deaths; there may be a better move, and you beat yourself blue black for not seeing it, or it's just not the perfect move and you keep wondering about the whatifs. But at the end of it all, so what? You can't turn back a single second, you can't ctrl-alt-del, so what's left, but to move ahead. Put your heart in it and do your best. Perhaps you can resign with dignity (oohh .. I love this phrase: resign with dignity :P)and start a new game, or perhaps there will be another chance to make amends when your opponent gets overconfident. Whatever happens, despair is pointless. It's just a game afterall, isn't it? Satisfaction comes in playing one in which you can hold your head up afterwards, and not end in bashing the board over the opponent's head, or showing your cats' claws or even losing sleep over it. heh. Winning is just a bonus.

Isn't life just like that? Life is, aferall, like a game of chess too. You can't take back the choices you have made or what has happened. You can only shoulder on, one step at a time, doing your best out of it. Perhaps it might get better, perhaps not ... but at the end of the journey, you would want to live a life where you can hold your head up and be happy. After all, it's your life, it's your game. The satisfaction of how you live your life comes from yourself.

Hmmm. Hence said, I think I still like winning at my chess games. :P And I like to win with the least amount of effort. heh heh heh *bleah* But winning too easily has no challenge, and losing too badly to good players can be so demoralising. Ahhh what a contradiction. Verdict: playing chess is simply too tough! Ohh, my head. itai itai!

I enjoy playing all kinds of chess, but I love international chess best. Let's see. Chinese Chess can be too restrictive. But they say there's a beauty in the strategy of playing restrictively. I could never get the hang of it, and I'll end up under-defending my pieces, like I can't give the horse too much work, for it is easily blocked and become useless, unlike Ichess where the knight is really one in shining armour. :P Okie okie, so I always end up losing in Cchess, unless opponent is really an idiot. heh. For weiqi or go, I can never really find the patience to sit through the whole game and play seriously. Good grief! My hair will turn white and I'll get arthritis in my fingers first. *rolls eyes* So Ichess has always been my favourite, and is especially so, because I always beat my bro at it when we were little (with and without cheating). heh heh. Hey, I can't win them at Nintendo what. :P

I like to play othello, and I found there's a way to beat the computer on my palm and you can really turn all the pieces yours except for maybe a few. I think my best score was computer only left with 3 of its colour. But it's not easy to play with a human who thinks the same as you, and lay traps to make you play moves such that they'll get the sides and corners. I can't trick hubby so easily. :P So ... let's just say it's not that fun afterall. *sticks tongue out*

Then there's checkers, which is also rather fun, but we hardly play that nowadays. That one also has a trick to it, and unsuspecting players may fall for it if they are unaware. But when they realise what you are trying to do, it's not that easy to fall for the tricks. Ichess is still more challenging and complicated, and that's where it is also fun. :)

Ostrich reflex, fast and fury

The other day in the car, we were discussing the stupid mentality of some people. When suddenly this old man started to cross the road. Now, we were NOT at a traffic junction nor were we at a zebra crossing. The old man looked to his right and glanced to his left (we were coming from the left), and started crossing the road! And he pointedly refused to admit the existence of our car, travelling, fortunately at very low speed, towards him. Whoa ... what if we were travelling faster and did not see him? Gee ... some people. We called that sticking his head into the sand and refusing to look. heh.

So we are annoyed and upset. We had been extremely patient and understanding so far. It's almost a month since we've been promised the keys. It was the last straw today when they said they've done the floor, but what do we see? Extremely bad workmanship! You call that complete? Hello! It was so rough, I had thought they were going to do one more layer! So much for being nice. So much for simply waiting and smiling and trying to empathise with them. To hell with the whole lot. I will breathe fire tomorrow. Hear me singe. Grrr. Tomorrow. Just wait.

Morning cackle

Okie, this absolutely had me in stitches. Mom was just telling me that someone called me earlier, I was in the bath. The caller spoke soooo softly, that mom who is a bit hard of hearing in one ear, got fed up and said, 'wrong number! wrong number!' To which the caller immediately said, 'no no! it's the right one!' and she immediately spoke out LOUD and slowly, my name. hahahaa ... we all knew who she was, mom and I, didn't we? *rolls eyes* I'm going to have to call her and strain my ears too. ;P Will she never learn? ;)

So I've just called LR. She was telling me she was unhappy with PM for some reason or another. Now these two have a long standing history of getting on each other's nerves, funnily though, and it entertains all of us. This brings back memories ... heh, like that scandalous time when ... heh heh, they'll kill me if they find out that I wrote this in my blog, so secret, don't tell them, shhh. Min, do you remember? That time when we were playing chess in the enclosed room, when PM suddenly screamed loudly! And everyone came running in to see what had happened? It was a loud shriek, they could even hear it outside. I was just sitting next to them and I was stunned. What actually happened was PM screamed because LR poked her in the ribs because she took her wallet (or something), and PM was actually in the middle of a game with our junior (who is a guy), or was she? And he was the only guy in the room, and boy ... was his face beet-red. hahaha. Did I remember it correctly? It was so long ago now. :P

I will always remember those two like that. :) Gee, I hope they are not seriously unhappy with each other though.

I'm spoilt for choices here. So many freebies to take. Left right and centre. Heh, shall I try to entrap the queen?

Tuesday, December 14, 2004


The funny thing about Wen is that sometimes she'll sms me something which goes like: Wah! Someone just stepped on my toes! Damn painful That being the thirty-fifth times it happened. I'd laugh and tell her that she's just too tiny to be seen and her big feet stick out. Have to carry big umbrella to defend her toes. Hey, her boyfriend is three times bigger than her! heh. Or perhaps I'm just exaggerating. :P She told me smugly the other day that when she went for her yearly checkup recently, she found that she had grown an extra centimetre! It was all the yoga thingy, when the nurse said, 'now stand straight', she did the tadasana pose, where you really straighten the spine and stand tall. She wasn't too pleased to put on two extra kilos though. I think I must measure my own height again soon!

Or that time when she'll sms me and declare that she had just seen the most terribly dressed woman ever in the bus. Fat, with layers and layers protuding out from the tiny and tight see-through blouse, with the most horrendious make up ever, and hair as bright and clashing as those you'd never believe. Or the ah soh carrying the prada bag but with the worst colour combination of clothes ever. Or when we walked down Orchard Road, sometimes we would turn to each other and burst out laughing at the lady who just walked past us with huge boobs spilling out of her tiny tight top, and a face that could give you nightmares. heh.

I'm really exaggerating, no! :P

With hubby, sometimes inevitably we would end up laughing at some people on the streets, but we do it more discreetly. Or perhaps we're just too involved in each other to really notice things happening around us. :) And somehow, we tend to notice cats more than anything else. It's the influence of the CAT. We're still hoping that perhaps one day, we might catch a glimpse of her out there.

Mom is making beef steak. Whoops, I'd better go and cook mine myself, before she does it overcooked! I love it medium rare.

Loving him :)

When hubby is away and I'm sitting here by the computer writing blogs or being bored to death or doing everything else but the important things, I would inevitably think of him. :)


Last night he went to sleep smilling goofily and happily to himself. He was surfing the net on cameras earlier see. This morning (or was it last night? I was a bit groggy), he told me enthusiastically, Let's go to HV for breakfast! :) I was surprised but it's not a bad idea at all. Mom wanted a lift to the market to buy ... of all things, more fish. Did I say I really had nothing against fish? Hubby was a bit disappointed when I then suggested that we go to the market for breakfast instead. I asked, What do you want to eat at HV anyway? He said, the Ipoh Hor Fun? Are you sure it's even open so early in the morning? Let's go to the market with mom and have my favourite teochew fishball noodles instead! And finally hubby seems reluctant but agreed. Then on the way to the car, he held me closely, smiled his happy and goofy smile again and whispered in my ears, 'I wanted to get you flowers, you see. I thought of that last night.' :) :) :) I love you, dearest. It doesn't matter if there are no flowers for me, as long as you are by my side. No flowers can ever take any replacement in my heart. :) *beamz*

Language emphasis

I'm not sure about other people, but here's something that tickled me funny when hubby first heard it and his reaction to it. Being a teochew (our dialect group), and although we tend to mix our dialect with hokkien, there are some phrases which I've been happily using, unaware that it actually made no sense to other people (even those of the same dialect group).

Here's my all time favourite one:
cik bao cik bao mee, or in mandarin, yi bao yi bao mian.
Can you guess what I'm referring to?
Instant noodles! maggie mee (more popularly known as) although maggie is one of the brands of instant noodles. The phrase I had always used was a direct translation of 'packet noodles' as these instant noodles are commonly found in a packet.

Hubby was stunned by my interpretation and explanation.


heh heh heh.

A few days back, in the middle of a conversation, I brought up the phrase jiat ji qua. This one is quite commonly used, as in ... it's not something invented by me. I never did thought of the words itself, and upon approaching mom, she explained that ji is actually money in teochew, whereas the more commonly used word for money lui is actually hokkien. Wow. I never knew that! So the literal translation is eat money officers, and mom started: long ago, in far away China .... blah blah blah ... officers who took bribes are known as 'eat money officers', which actually means 'corrupted officers'. See, how interesting learning a dialect is. :)

A few years back when I went to visit my Grandparents (when my Grandfather was still alive), I was actually trying to learn some teochew words. Words like sun and moon and stars etc. I don't think I actually knew them, and till now, I don't really know what they are in my dialect! I'm still able to communicate with my grandmother (father's side, since mom's mother is sadly unable to communicate with anyone anymore), although they say I have a weird accent. And I cannot speak or understand cantonese at all. That's really quite a disadvantage when I go for dim sum! The waitress would rattle off in high speed canton leaving me totally stunned. That's where Wen comes in useful sometimes. heh

Reading headlines in the newspapers recently, I saw that a certain someone said to improve mandarin, one must speak mandarin at home. I quote someone: He farts and it's on national news. heh. I thought most people speak mandarin at home?. Almost all my kids come from mandarin speaking families, and they don't have problems communicating in their mother-tongue. Oh, perhaps he meant the upper class echelon huh? I don't know, I never did read the article. Should I? :P

There's a war going on at re-m's blog. If nothing, it sure makes for an interesting read on a dull and hot afternoon. The issues are exactly the same thing all over again. I'm not sure I totally sympathise with re-m at all (the war I mean, not his rants). Afterall, he did start it first someplace else. No? heh heh. I think he has fallen into the trap of being in spore, i.e, Spores complain, grumble and rant all the time. There isn't much else to do ... except shopping and sleeping like a cat, and eating and growing fat like a sheep. bleat bleat.

PM is unable to come today as she has acquired some strange malady or rather some allergy. Ah well ... no further chess moves too. Time to sleep again? :P

Stuck in a rut

Sometimes in the afternoon when I got off from the bus at the interchange to go home, I would see this extremely fat cat basking in the heat of the day, lying cosy in a corner near the concrete pillar; lying flat, with big tummy protruding along the floor; lying flat, with all four paws stretched to maximise the cool area on its tummy; lying flat, wedged contentedly on its back; lying flat, drooling away and dreaming of human slaves feeding it; lying flat, one big fat undignified blap, right smack in the centre of the walkway, and all the pathetic humans have to thread gingerly around it. It's damn awfully FAT.

Sometimes in the afternoon when hubby and I drove back to his office, we would see this sweet little cat, curled up on the ledge, by the curve of the entrance of the car park, just a little way in from the Sun. It wouldn't even stir as car after car passes by it, too tired from its night's frolicking to bother with stupid machines people like to move in. Sometimes its back is to us as if to say Go away, Bugger you. Sometimes if we're earlier, we would see it crossing from one end of the driveway to the other, to its favourite spot to have its favourite catnap.

Yesterday as I was walking to the hair salon, I spied a little one near the hedges. It was curled up in a ball, little head on its paws, lying on the metal box where complicated wires and strange things exist, cooling it off in the warm day. So fast asleep, perhaps snoring a littiel, just covered by the shade, snoozing its forty winks, ignoring you and me completely.

The day is extremely hot, the Sun is glaring down indigently at everyone. I have drawn the curtains and lowered the temperature of the room. My bed is piled up with pillows and blankets, and my cats are snoozing as usual. It's a nice time to be like a cat, hugging my pillows and being sandwiched with the blankets and going to sleep in such a hot weather. Ohh, I had just dragged myself up to write this post. I'm losing all my routines and discipline. Where had all the firm resolutions gone to? I threw out of the window, the resolve to go jogging in the morning, the resolve to go for yoga, the resolve to go blading, the resolve to wake up early and play the piano, the resolve to tidy my room and clear my work clutter. Out! Out! Out! All you evil plotters to keep me healthy! It is best to be nua on such a hot day. I feel all my fat oozing out from the pores. Greese rules! I must get my bum out of the rut!!!

Maybe I should just go back to sleep now. :P

Latest update: Hubby just told me that the cat sleeping in the driveway of the carpark now has a baby kitten sleeping with her! Wow. That's what we'd say, fast work. well done. hahaha.

Tongue in Cheek

It's a beautiful morning today! It's nice to snuggle in bed especially since hubby is not working in the morning. :) With the sounds of Joshua Bell filling the air.

The latest craze is now Korean dramas. Mom never fails to catch the 9pm one every night. Don't ask me what it is, I don't watch TV. She loved it ... glued to the screen and when the theme song and music come on, she'll get all misty and excited. Apparently the theme song comes on when the tragic lovers are shown together. So excited she was, she kept humming the tune over and over again and asked me if I've heard it before. The melody sounded so darn familiar, but I could not just put my finger on it. I'm sure I've heard it somewhere, it's a very common tune. have I played it before? My father said it's Serenade, but by who?

So this morning, mom was going on and on about the piece of music again, humming (abeit out of tune) to herself, and she was all praise for music of violin and piano origins. I told her that hey, I do have lots of violin and piano pieces, and since it was an early morning, I decided to let her listen to my favourite CD. Yep, you've got it. Joshua Bell - Romance of the Violin. :) So put CD in, start play .... first piece my favourite O Mio Babbino Caro. And as my eyes ran down the CD case, something caught my eye. Serenade by Schubert!! Could it be? Was it so? What do we know? Let it be so! Ahhh ... hit right into the bull's eye. It was the same piece of music which mom was going gaga during the Korean drama. I'm the favourite girl today. :) :)

So it was indeed played by Joshua Bell. No wonder the melody sounded so familiar everytime I heard it. I've heard that piece so many times, being so prone to put Joshua Bell on repeat over and over again. It has delved deep into my subconscious. heh.

While hubby is taking a short nap, I'm drafting out the letter for him. He's going to flip when he reads it. heh heh. Here's the gist of it:

Dear Madam,

I refer to your letter dated 1st December 2004, regarding the Verification of Sales Draft/Transaction Details.

1. I wish to inform you that the transaction is not valid. You should have, by now, received notification from the merchant of the cancellation of the transaction. I enclose a copy of the email correspondence with the merchant.

2. Please cancel the unauthorised transaction.

3. I also wish to lodge a complaint against you bloody fools! Your incomplete investigation regarding this matter has caused me a lot of distress and sleepless nights. I have to personally take leave from my busy practice to investigate this matter thoroughly.

4. Due to your incompetence, I have to deal with the matter myself. I am very disappointed with the services of XXX bank, an internationally acclaimed bank. As a loyal customer of your bank for many years, my confidence in your bank has been terribly shaken. You have taken the word of the merchant and failed to do a proper investigation. Why was it so difficult for the person investigating this matter to call the Travel Agent to clarify matters before jumping into conclusions?

5. In future, I will have to reconsider sending in transactions to my credit card. Rest assured I will advise my friends and colleagues accordingly to the special privilege you accorded your customers.

Yours sincerely,

Honestly, that's already very tame. I could have used stronger words. But I can't really feel annoyed because of the Joshua Bell's violin music right now. :P Hmmmm .... hubby's definitely going to flip. The last letter I drafted for him, he practically have to change quite a few things. heh heh. But seriously, that's exactly how I felt about the whole affaire! They did the investigation, spoke to the merchant involved, took two bloody months, and couldn't settle it properly! We took two days of our leave, made a few phone calls, went down to take a look, and saw the bottom of the well. I say, what is this huh? If you want to know what bank it is, let me know, and I'll tell you for free. bloody idiots *mutter*.

Writing such letters really spoil one's mood.

Well, some better news, PM's on leave this whole week! She called me up to go skating and blading with her! :) Yay! But ... mom overheard and said I was to R_E_S_T. And hubby did say I should rest too. Actually I quite agree with them. Didn't really feel up to doing too much exercises, although the good doctor did say I could do much about everything, sans sex. heh heh heh. Tongue in cheek post okie! *bleah* Okie, so I'm just lazy and using this as an excuse not to exercise. :P So now trying to get PM to visit me and play chess with me. I still owe her a birthday treat. Still, it's good to be able to see her ... and Lin again. Did I mention Lin's going to be back today?


Monday, December 13, 2004

I. Complain.

Hubby goes back to work. I miss him.

I kept being bitten by strange things. Mosqitoes? It itches.

Too many chess games, and I complain. Too little now and they are all playing too slowly, I also complain. Grrr.

On a good note, my hair now feels great. Woohoo! :)


I have to agree with Xena, this is extremely hilarious.

Blogging is rather amazing actually. You read other people's blog, they read your blog, and somehow there seems to be something there. I wonder what people think of me when they chance upon my blog. And why sometimes they keep coming back. I know why I keep going back to their blogs. Sometimes it offers a different perspective in life, sometimes it reads funny, and sometimes I'm just bored. heh.

Seperation anxiety - how strange that phrase is. I never felt like that, but perhaps I never felt seperated from my close friends when they move on. I think the closest friend I would have is Wen, and even then, we weren't exactly the closest of people. Both of us require space. Among all my close girlfriends ... she was the last I know. HM was from my primary school, and we still keep in touch till now. I was close to a couple of people from my secondary school, or rather as in we hang out together ... or rather, we took the same bus home, heh ... but we never really did keep in touch. Most of my good friends come from my JC. There's Lin, who is going to Paris for an interview (wow!), Min, whom I'm still waiting to get my hands on to change her wardrobe for her (*bleah*), PM, who is always mission impossible to get her (rolls eyes), LR or YS, who is really nice but an extremely confused person (heh heh heh), and who just called me a minute ago and told me she was sitting on the toilet bowl doing her business. She's always calling me in the toilet and sometimes one can even hear the flushing. heh heh. These few friends went through thick and thin with me on the chessboards. Perhaps that's why I always felt close to them. There's Xel, who was my opponent on a chessboard one day, and she got swindled to accept a draw from me when I was losing. We had the same trainer, and we both got scolded after that ... me for offering her a draw when I was losing (how could I have done such a despicable thing?) and she for accepting the draw when she was winning (rolls eyes). heh heh. There were a couple more friends from my class in JC, but not really close now. And finally Wen whom I got to know through the internet. surprise?

I think the reason why I felt closest to Wen is probably because we went travelling together. They say you can really get to know a person when you know all their bad habits. I can never quite understand her, and sometimes she can be quite frightening, but really I think it doesn't matter, for deep down, she's really a nice and trustworthy person. And she gets me to do things which I've always wanted to do but am too inert to do. We got to know each other through helping a mutual friend with a website (after which we dropped that friend), and I remember the first time I saw her. She fixed up the appointment and all that, quite like a blind date, and boy ... was she efficient. There were a few of us meeting together, so she simply booked a table at a restuarant under her name, and we would all go there. Easy huh, bet you never thought of that! :P I was late and so was she, and when I neared the place I saw this girl walking in front of me, and I was wondering if that was she, and indeed she was wondering the same thing about me walking behind her! Great minds think alike. :P Somehow we hit it off, and started 'dating' each other out. heh.

She had been very encouraging to me in many things. Encouraging me to spend more money *bleah*, encouraging me to be together with hubby, helping me with my ROM, doing all the planning when we go on holidays etc. And when I bought the ring for hubby, she bought Biscuit from Australia. Spent the same amount of money as I had for that ring. Cannot understand her! Heh. And she doesn't seem to want to settle down with her bf of three(?) years. Really cannot quite understand her. Hmmm. OH well ... will go shopping with her for Tods sale on Wed. :) It's always nice to know that someone is spending as much if not more money than you. :P Can't wait.

For two hours since I woke up this morning, I was seriously thinking of going for yoga. Until just now when I checked my wound and it was still leaking pus. Euugh. And my right wrist still can't really take weight. So I shall take more care and stay at home ... and err, tidy the room. Hmm. Make that write blog and play chess.

I need more opponents to play chess with. I think I quite like correspondence chess. There's no time stress there, and I can take forever to think of the next move, but sometimes it's just too slow. Ah well, can't have cake and eat it.

I think sometimes my life is just too good. :)

Sunday, December 12, 2004

End game.

We had pizza for lunch today. My father made the pizza. He made the dough and all that. Lots of stuffs on the pizza. One with ham, bacon, onions, green pepper, pineapple, tomato and egg; the other with prawns, squid, pork, ham, bacon, onions, green pepper, pineapple, tomato and egg. It was especially very very yummy! But that was also because he made us wait till 2pm for lunch. I was too hungry to really make an unbias judgement. heh. Think I ate more than neccessary. Ohh, delicious.

Mom wasn't too happy with me eating prawns and squids right now. She wants me to go on a fish and pork diet only, because of my surgery. I try to listen to her, but then if my father made something with prawns and squid, how could they exclude me? :P

Today I caught the last fifteen minutes of Japan Hour. All those sashimi fish really looks delicious. Was practically drooling there. What's happening to me? I think I'm perpetually hungry! Even now after a huge meal of pizza, I'm still thinking and writing about food! whoa ... my poor tummy!

I'm going to treat myself to a nice hair spa tomorrow. Woohoo! :)

We're going to have to write a few more letters. Don't feel like doing it right now though, must kinda get into the 'nasty' frame of mind. Gotta write to the developers. They missed out our tap in the roof terrace. Grrr. It's going to be a big thing to rectify if they will do it. *sigh* ... when can we move in?

I'm not exactly an expert in endgame. This one looks damn tricky. I think there is a way to create a pass pawn, but chances are extremely slim, plus the fact that he may not do as I want. Going to have to set up a board and analyse a bit. Can't think too much right now. Actually I could have try analysing without using a board, which is the proper way ... but I'm just too lazy. heh. I had already made so many mistakes in the games. Gotta start working on it!

Saturday, December 11, 2004

Being thankful

Surgery was okie, well ... if it wasn't, I won't be here typing away. Heh. The OT was extremely freezing cold. I had two blankets but was still freezing, and they had to transfer me onto the icy cold operating table when I had already warmed up my bed. huh. I think they were tying to kill me with all that cold, especially I had nothing to eat since 10pm the night before. Brrr. I kept smelling food all the way to my ward.

The prof was really very nice. Hubby knew him, said he was very nice, and I must agree with that. Shall send him a xmas card. :) He didn't charge me consultation fees too, and he saw me at very short notice. Didn't really like the drugs the anaesthetist injected me with. He asked me if I liked them, and I said not very much, and he told me he always wondered why since that was what drug addicts inject themselves with. I was too 'tired' to banter with him, though strangely enough my brains were still on high alert. After which they gassed me and I fell asleep. When I woke up, somehow it felt that only 40 minutes had passed. But it was actually more than an hour. Strange things do happen! Being plugged was extremely painful though, more painful than blood donations, more painful than injections; no wonder Grandma always screamed. hmm. And he said it was only a scratch. Yeah right.

I haven't had much rest since, been running around with hubby enjoying our holiday. Must rest tomorrow!

Today we went down to Funan. On the way there, as we passed by BreadTalk, I asked hubby, 'Are you hungry yet dear?', he replied nope. A few more steps further, I asked him again, 'Are you hungry yet dear?', he rubbed thoughtfully at his tummy and replied nope. A few more steps further, I asked the same question again, he hesitated a bit .... and said not really. 'Are you sure you don't want to eat anything?' He said nope and pulled me along. At the elevator, I asked him again, 'Are you hungry dear?' And he finally admitted that he was feeling a little hungry. heh heh heh.

Funan is a toy shop for hubby. Enough said. My poor feet. :P

I love him. He's the best thing that ever happen to me. :) I'm really thankful I have him. :) :)

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

When I'm feeling down ...

The things darling says which makes me laugh.
Wash and blow takes an entire different meaning all together.

ha hi hu he ho (one of the Japanese vowels)
bo hne hae ma hor (no fish prawns also good)

heh heh heh.

My right wrist is hurting. I think I might have injuired it a bit more than neccessary during the fall. Or perhaps it's all those yoga poses like crow, little bird, hand stand. My wrist was never strong to begin with. damnit.

I should start packing a little for tomorrow. Like bring my thick book to read, or those thick magazines which I never read, or even that yoga journal which I've not read. Wow, suddenly I've lots of stuffs to read.

Resigned my hopeless game. Another game playing with queen down. How bloody idiotic can I get?

Saw wok I wanted at Tangs. When will they have their great sale again? waiting waiting. :P

Showed off how to do backbends to mother-in-law. She said so difficult cannot do, so there. *bleah* Saw three little kittens at the park. Would be nice to catch one and bring home ... no, not for supper! I missed the CAT. The cat's children has kids now, and the whole yard is running wild with big rats ... I mean little cats. Not cute them, so extremely unfriendly. huh.

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

The power of words

So we shot off a letter of complain to the manager of the hotel. There. One down. One more to go. Oh boy oh boy oh boy ... I'm just waiting to write the second letter. muahahaha. This is what they're gonna get for giving us so much trouble and stress and sleepless nights. Not any fault of ours. I'm bad. I wonder how much they'll try to apologise.

The more we thought of it, the more annoyed we got. ha.

In another vein of thought, I'll have to go for a minor surgery this Thursday. It's a little scary, but I'm not too worried. In fact, I feel very calm, must be all that yoga I'm doing. Plus dearest hubby will always be by my side. :) I think I sounded too cheerful over the phone with my insurance agent. Must try to be more serious. Hmmm ... I don't mind flowers though. Sunflower or lily would be nice. ;) I must send them thank you cards or xmas cards too. They're all very nice. :)

We'll have to send the car in soon. Might have to do some respray works. May that person who did that evil thing rot in hell too. No happy xmas for him. grr.

I'm not writing very coherently. I'm tired. All that running around and seeing to this and that, and seeing them ... *whew* ... no wonder hubby is already sleeping. I'm just zoning out here. I need to do more yoga though.

* Y A W N ***

Monday, December 06, 2004

tic tac toed

I feel that I've forgotten what day and what date today is. Each day passes so quickly, so full of joy and happiness, and it's a struggle to remember to be serious. Especially since I hardly watch the telly or read the newspapers. We're all in our own little world.

On Saturday, hubby and I went blading. Now I understand why people usually go to the East Coast Park to blade, and not to the West Coast Park. It was a lovely cloudy day with puffs of wind tugging at my hair. The sun's light was muted through the clouds and it was certainly a good morning to get some exercise. There weren't too many people around the park, and we went one big round - fast, on our blades. Hubby's blades rocked! Very fast he went ... wheee! whooossssh! wow. BUT. after an hour or so, hubby stopped, waited for me. Look dear, there's a slope. Let's go down together. And together we held hands and went whhhheeeee! Lovely! Gentle incline of about ten degrees. shoik! What can I say? Look look dear, another one over there! Let's try it! Are you sure? It sure looks rather steep. No matter, I'll hold you tightly. Okie. :) Whhheeeee! We're going too fast! Too fast! Watch out! Drain grills at the bottom! Okie, cleared one! Slow down slow down slow down! I can't slow down!! Another grill! Watch it!! WAaaaaaaah! Thump! Bump! ouch. ouch. groan. heh heh heh. Hubby landed on his bum. Hard. Me? I was already bending my knees very very low, so it didn't hurt too much. But earlier on, there was a short steep slope which I fell (not very memoriable but damn painful). So both of us had battle scars to show. And add neck injury to the insult. But hubby's ego hurt most. *grins*

Okie, so we were just two impossible beginners trying to be funny and going fast down slopes when we didn't really know how to slow down or stop. Did I see you rolling your eyes? heh. Will do better next time! More slopes! Bring them on!


Am not going to play chess yet.

Hubby has been playing half life 2 for the past mornings. I would watch him play by the bed. It's very addictive to play and to watch him play. I tried not to, really, but it's hard when he would call out, what next what next! And there're lots of booming and interesting sounds emmiting from the computer. I just had to watch, and give him directions, like when he say things like I'm stuck I'm stuck! How? *sniff* ... you didn't turn right and go that way, dear. So usually after half an hour of watching, I would feel extremely sick. Practically turned green in the face, turned to the side and stick my tongue out. *bleah* All the nausea and spinning going on. It's really bad, trust me. Took stemetil that day. It's THAT bad. Hubby was also feeling rather sick when he played too long. What a game! heh. Give me a nice proper RPG next time.

And many things had happened since. We've got our nice solid wood (mahagony) bed and side table and dining table. *beamz* So now we have to eat black beans for all our meals. *joke*. You may donate money to me though. *no joke* :P

And there are lots of evil people out there. I curse them and hope that that person who did that thing will get struck by lightning one day.

And I gotta run.

Friday, December 03, 2004


I have created a kaibutsu! Darling has now sprouted tendrils sticking out from his torso, glued to the keyboard, mouse and there are strange magnetic waves linking from the eyes to the screen. Half Life 2! Has gotten its complete hold on my dearest. heh. Actually, it's not that bad yet, I managed to get him off the computer, else I won't even be typing this. After thirty minutes of watching my hubby played, I confess I really felt sick. Nausea. Giddy. Stomach couldn't stop churning. Don't know why, but I get very bad motion sickness from all the 3D. Hubby said it's not so apparent if you're playing, only hits you when you're watching. Perhaps I should play too? The graphics are excellent. But it's really not my type of game at all. Except I'm better at helping him solve some puzzles. :)

Okie, so we were supposed to go blading yesterday and this morning, but till now we've not done so. I've become a sadly negected woman ... *sob sob*. Is hubby having a guilt trip right now? *nudge nudge* heh Good thing I still got a few more books to read. Perhaps I should continue on my thousand-year-old knitting soon. Or *horrors* pack my school stuffs which I brought home and dumped onto the dining floor. At least mom is understanding about those. I have to sort through the stuffs and start throwing things away. And if you know me, I'm going to create a storm in the dining room soon.

And I've bought my corelle set! A total of 18 pieces for less than a hundred! Wheee! heh ... I love new things! Wen said don't buy so many household stuffs, leave some for friends to get for you when you throw a house-warming party! Whoops. But I really can't help it. They're so nice! And if I can't buy expensive furniture, I'll end up getting little pretty stuffs. :P

The previous day, I had a 30 minute back and shoulder. They were aching like crazy. Must be all the shoulder stands I did. New therapist asked me after 10 minutes how the strength was (she was already putting quite a bit in), and I replied, 'it's okie, I'm used to sports massage, so it's all right.' In which she went ohh .. and started digging her elbows into me. That hurts! Was rather blue black yesterday, but feeling great now. And she cracked my head from side to side. Kowai!

Will not log on to chessworld and play chess for the next couple of days. Need a break and had been playing real badly. No inspirations to play now. :P

It felt like a weekend yesterday! Hubby called up his friend to ask him about something. He started off with, 'so where are you? At home?' To which, 'huh? What do you think? At work lah! You think it's a Saturday huh!' It really felt like a Saturday yesterday! And today is officially hubby's first day of holiday! Not yesterday. Yay! It's just nice to spend so much nua time with him. Hmm, perhaps we should just go somewhere.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

A slip of the tonsils

Hubby is officially on leave from tomorrow onwards! Yay! He'd better be spending more time with me, rather than off sinking super ships and firing at submarines. But we'll be getting for him Half Life 2, so I'm going to have to roll my eyes at him sooner or later. heh heh. :P

My tonsils were killing me for the past week, sharp pain everytime when I swallowed. Must be all that ice-cream and chocolates I couldn't stop taking just when it got slightly better. And the CURRY CHICKEN last night. yum yum. But after dear hubby took the matter in his hands, or rather that long thin metal tongs in his hands and poke it, prod it, and everything except yanking the stupid tonsil out, (there was no fish bone in it, though it was a possibility), the pain simply disappeared this morning. I call that hubby's touch. He's really great, ya know. :) And I really love him. :) :) *beamz*

And just the other day, I ordered a mix of apple and ping guo juice at the fruit stall. The stallholder turned to prepare the fruits and took him about 10 seconds before he swirled round again to stare at me with his eyebrows elevated right up into his forehead. We both laughed out loud then. Me louder still and feeling extremely foolish, because a few minutes earlier, it was the order I've taken from hubby who wanted the mix of apple and ping guo juice, and I laughed loudly at him and corrected it to apple and orange juice. Now hubby was the one with the last laugh. Who is the better sheep? *bleah bleah* For the uninitiated, ping guo is apple in mandarin. :P

Game wise: I can't believe I've been cheated of my checkmate.

Opponent resigned in this position, rather than allow me the satisfaction of inflicting a cruel and slow end. *sigh* Ah well, I still have many games to think about, not counting that silly one which I'm still struggling over with a piece down (now a bloody damn rook); and recently I've just made another blunder in another game by giving a free knight - which I didn't see when I made the move earlier in the wee hours of the morning when I was half awake. Lesson to self: never play chess when brains are still sleeping. Duh. Correspondence chess indeed. See hubby rolls his eyeballs all over his skull. :P I really should play a little slower.

Yikes! I've just made a terrible terrible blunder at another board. This is sooo awful! A free queen this time! I must definitely swear off chess for a while now. :(