Monday, January 31, 2005

Raising kittens 102

Hand rearing kittens.

This site is extremely useful.

I'm quite worried about the kittens. They keep crying now and then. And it's not easy to feed them. They'll be struggling and crawling away. We need to get a proper nursing bottle for them. The one which we've got from the pet shop yesterday was way too big for the poor little kitten. So I'm using dropper to feed them. But they keep struggling!

And scratching me!

I do hope they will survive. We've not named them yet, else it'll be more heartbroken if they don't.


Raising kittens 101

Some good webpages to read on how to raise kittens.

1. Kitten Care Handbook

2. Raising Orphan Kittens

They're still mewing away. I've fed them, and got them to pee, but they are still mewing away. What am I to do?

Anyway here are some pics of them. :)
The two of them snoozing together.

The grey one. Big little bugger. Likes to mew a lot. Rather aggressive too. Kicks a lot. Scratches bloody painful too.

The smaller one. Hubby's favourite. Pretty colours. Starting to mew a lot and kick a lot too. Where they get their energy?

That little red coka cola box is the den hubby makes for them. Quite cozy actually, we've lined it with newspapers and tissue papers. And we've put them next to the fridge. Nice and warm. And I've added a warm water bottle in as well. They're both hugging near the fridge most of the time, if they're not mewing their lungs out.

Oh dear ... there they go again. What! I've just fed them an hour ago! I need to prepare for dinner, not to feed them again.


Sunday, January 30, 2005

Little Rats

So we brought home the two little kittens. Okie, own up! Who's bright idea was that?

They mewed pathetically the whole night last night. I grumbled to hubby to check on them, but dear hubby turned over and covered his ears with his bolster. The next morning, we found the two poor little kittens soaking wet. The warm water bottle burst (actually it was a plastic bag) and the poor little kittens got cold and wet. Okie, who's bright idea was it with the water bag? :P

I read on the net that they must be kept warm, what. :P

The two kittens have not even opened their eyes. Poor little things. This morning, we got them to shit and pee, and they shited and peed onto me. I read that it's important to get them to remove their waste from their bodies, and we got to help them by stroking their behinds. But not onto me! Damn it. Well, dear hubby said the first stuffs which come out from them is sterile. Look who's talking. It's not on him Duh!

And we managed to feed them somewhat using a straw and some warm milk. Must get them goat's milk actually (according to the net), and must get a teat soon. They look only a three or four days old. I hope they can survive this. Poor little kittens. If they can, we're adopting them for good.

At least they don't stink now, after a nice soaking bath last night. *bleah*

Saturday, January 29, 2005


Was watching Superman 2 a while back. My favourite. He looked so young, and now he's gone. Time flies. And gee, I didn't know that Gene Hackman was Lex Luther. haha. Too bad it wasn't the first Superman. I think I love the first one best.

We are now living in a studio apartment. All the bedrooms are not accessible anymore. The workers are hacking out quite a bit of the timber floor. It's kinda nice actually, having the mattress, the TV, the computer and everything else in the living room. It's really quite a nice feeling. heh heh.

Good thing I read this (the others, 28th Jan) only early in the morning and not late at night. I will definitely get spooked. Especially most of the nights, I'm alone at home till pretty late. eerie for sure!

There were two mewing kittens in a box by the site office. Poor litte ones, abandoned by the mother. Not sure if they can survive for long. :(

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Of truths, lies and excuses

Ohh ... my voice is now low, sexy and husky. Bet I could sing as well as Diana Krall now! hahaha. I don't want to go to work tomorrow. I may lose my voice if I do. Besides I feel too depressed and stressed about the house right now and I cannot concentrate on entertaining monkeys and gorillas.

I shall have to think of something tomorrow!

I think I shall like Didactylos best. Ambi-sinister? That was real cool! And I love the part most when he was brought before Vorbis, stand accused of dragging the minds of men from the path of true knowledge. And Didactylos denied his belief. 'No,' he said. And sang to the tune of Vorbis, stunning him to speechlessness. On parting, he threw his lantern and it smashes against Vorbis's skull.

'Nevertheless ... the Turtle Moves!'

That whole part really cracked me up.

And that is the work of a superbly ingenious genius. Ahh, refreshing indeed. Totally unexpected. One hell of a smart person too. What is a truth or a lie anyway? They're just words that people want to hear. ha. They're just excuses aren't they? I shan't subscribe to that one.

Okie, so TP is indeed quite funny. And I'm always a sucker for authors who make references to my favourite game: Bishops move diagonally. That's why they often turn up where kings don't expect them to be.

Okie ... next!

But I would rather he do much more character development with his characters. Sometimes too many at one go gets confusing. Hmmm ... perhaps I'm just not used to the style yet.

I can just press with my fingernails and the wood cracked. That is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I need a lawyer. Can anyone recommend me one who can sue the pants off those developers who took all the money but end up with shoddy work?

And speaking of chess, during the two weeks without internet connection, I forgot that I was playing in chessworld, and lost a game on time. Bloody fool me. That is what one gets when one grows older. Just the other day, I was talking to some colleagues and they even reminded me that I'm one year older this year. I was quite insistent that I was only one year younger. heh. Ahh, but I feel and look like five years younger! The trials of being an adult. *sigh* ... that which I have to settle the problem of the house right now.

The study room is now a happy bright sunny yellow colour. All it needs is for hubby to paint a pretty sunflower for me. :) He did say he'll do it, didn't you dearest? :P

So now they're playing CNY songs everyday in the shopping centres and department stores. Poor hubby gets zombified by all those tunes repeating over and over again for the thirteen hours he has to work. That is blatant mind-washing torture. You think the ginger beer torture is bad? Wait till you get the Chinese New Year tunes torture. They're damn irritating and loud and awful. And poor me, the poor wife who guaiguai stays at home but gets a earful of the songs when dear hubby comes home and SINGS to me the CNY songs. *rolls eyes*


The floor cracked from side to side

I want blood.

I am so fucking mad.

And yes, someone is going to pay with their blood.

What the fucking hell does it mean? The ominous cracking noises we heard at night, and in the day when it was quiet, have finally shown their true colour. The floor runneth in cracks. And not just one room. ALL of them! Them fucking workmanship.

I am so stressed and distressed. Furniture will be coming in on Sat. Things are going to get real messy when the stuffs come in. How are they going to repair all their shoddy workmanship like this? What are they going to do? Hack out all the floor and redo? I tell you, it's really awful. *sob*

I am so fucking mad.

And yes, I want blood.


I've finished reading Small Gods. Quite a nice read. Love turtles and tortoises actually. Is there actually a difference between a turtle and a tortoise? I always thought turtles have flippers but tortoises have toes, turtles fly in the ocean but tortoises crawl in the desert, but someone said it's the size. Hmm. And how about terrapins? But I digress. Book was pretty well written. Much philosophical. Too cheem for me to think too deep since I am still sick. The style of writing kinda reminds me of someone's blogging. Not much originality in there, if you ask me. Ha. I supposed, imitation is the best form of flattery. Or perhaps one's favourite author does rub off on oneself after a while. heh heh.

In terms of humour, there were pretty good stuffs as well, much more in Small Gods than in Night Watch. However, I still think David Eddings and his gods are funnier. Well, at least the earlier DE's books. Never did quite read and liked the later ones.

And so I grow old and become more crotchety. A small crotchety old lady knitting by the moonlight. Cross her path wrongly and woe befall the victim, with a long wooden needle poked into your eyes for emphasis.

And speaking about the moon, the moon was rather round last night. And it shone through the windows, bright and silvery in the middle of the night. There was a magical feel to it, all the tress and buildings and construction cranes bathing in the mysterious silver light. I tucked my dear hubby in and cuddled back to sleep. Flatze Cato always ended up sleeping on the floor. Don't look at me. I wasn't the one who kicked him there!

It is absolutely unacceptable. Mad I am, and furious I will be. There is now a bigger hole. Rotten wood they used. Damn them all to hell. And we all know that the G is corrupt, don't we?


Tuesday, January 25, 2005

hack hack cough cough

So my doc gave me two days of MC. I think I must have looked quite sick. Got difficulty breathing too. It's all that talking in a loud voice which I had to do. Good thing I never had asthma before. I used to be very strong and healthy when I was young, but nowadays, even walking in the freezer section of a supermarket is enough to send me shivering and whimpering away. So cold!

Well, he said there's a tightness in my lungs. Not too sure what that means, something to do with all the phelgm. I really ought to take my medicine tonight. Like my parents, I don't believe in taking medicine until I become extremely ill. Hubby rolls his eyes clockwise and anti-clockwise. :P Did I mention that I love my hubby very very much and I'm so lucky to have him? He is taking very good care of me! :)

And my doc asked me if I was planning to have kids soon. I was a bit shocked by the question, and gave him a horrified look and said 'no!' sharply. I think he looked rather amused by my reaction, and I quickly amended it to maybe in about one or two years time. You see, when one is sick, one doesn't expect such a question! :P Besides one is up to one's neck with the new house and the new school. Can't do too much.


I really should get more rest and not run around. Or eat chocolates. *bleah* The panadol tasted really awful last night, well, it's not really panadol ... it's another kind, and when I crushed it to take it, it was so awfully bad, worse than the normal panadol, that I had to put in a piece of chocolate in to overcome the taste. Urrgh. :P I can usually take crushed panadol without batting an eye-lid. Am so used to that bitter taste, but this is worse. Truely.

Had finished reading Nightwatch. Okie book. Not particularly very funny or witty. Hmmm. Story sounds very cliche. Very normal. Whoops, hope I don't offend any fans out there. tee heh heh. Just started reading Small Gods. Seems quite promising, but kinda reminds me of David Eddings. Or ... someone else?

Les miserable

Nothing much to write about except that I'm still ill. Went back to work this morning, but after about an hour, was feeling breathless and full of phlegm. Also had a constricted feeling in the lungs, felt rather light-headed and broke out in cold sweat. Decided not to continue anymore, but to go home and sleep.

There is a flu virus going around in school. I've never felt this bad before, only that time when I first started my job. Guess my body is still trying to get used to the new surroundings, and saying hi to its resident germs. New place, new germs. Ah well.

So I came home to my mom. Didn't feel like sleeping anymore, since it makes my head even heavier. Guess I should really take my medicine, and not stop just because the symptoms had diminished. Did I mention I hate taking medcine? I choked on the stupid panadol yesterday!

Taking this stupid cough syrup makes my heart beats super fast. duh.

Everyone seems to be giving their views on fine dining. I shall contribute my two cents on it too. :P

To me, most importantly, the food must be good. Okie, add that if I'm paying a hand and a foot, the service must be flawless too. Else why call it 'FINE' dining! I won't go back again if it's bad. Wen and I used to go around and eat. We liked Esmirada, one of our favourite places. Except that it's very ex, so we only go when we get some discount there. :P We've been to Jeremy's twice, both times on my birthday when Wen treated me. It's quite a nice place there, the food was very tiny in portion though, just enough for the two of us - bring my hubby along and he'll complain that it's not enough to fill him up. heh. The service was pretty good both times, but perhaps that was because we were the only customers there. One wonders how they manage to stay open!

Nowadays, however, we hardly go out to eat together anymore. Wen has to go home to her dog, and I'd rather spend time cooking for hubby at home. I guess people do drift apart after a while. She now has another friend to go out with, and for myself, I always go out alone.

The best food we've tried is still the one in Bali, at Alia Manggis. The home-made ice-cream is truely out of the world. No kidding you. And the food is simply fantastically orgastic. heh heh. Must go back and try again. The ice-cream, the rice pudding, the seafood etc. *drool*

Stupid cough syrup makes my fingers feel a bit numb and trembling too.

Painting starts tomorrow. I hope I don't regret the colours we chose. :X

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Whines whines

I'm ill. *sniff sniff*

I'm down with flu. It feels terrible.

I want to go yoga, but I think I'd better not go, because I'm really feeling quite terrible. But I really really want to go, because if I miss, the next class would only be next week. *sniff sniff*

*feeling absolutely sorry for self*

And I'm waiting for the painter to come. 9.30 to 10.30, so she just have to arrive at 10.30. GROWL........

I knew I felt sick already after that awful day. It's all those stress and dust. I'm definitely not going to work tomorrow.

*blows nose*

*feeling extremely miserable*

Saturday, January 22, 2005

Little truths of the week

"Problem shared is problem halved,
Food shared is doubly enjoyed."
... from the wise sayings of a cat ... maow!

If one can't bring one's piano over yet, then one shall bring one's violin to screech on. maow!

Knives are sharp instruements. Growl.

... to be continued.

After dinner thoughts.

It's such a damn hot day today. Curtains! We need curtains soon. Have not found any yet, haven't been seriously shopping for curtains yet. Curtains are going to cost a bomb. But how often would one change one's curtains?

Cooked lunch and dinner today. Burned my hand. Stupid stove airhole not very even, flames sprouting high up on one side. Stupid stupid. Good thing I didn't leave my wrist in the fire for too long to cook. Now it just feels a bit tender. Grrr.

Cooking isn't easy. The preparation takes a long while. My nose is now desensitised to the smell of garlic. In fact, chopping up garlic is much easier than cutting ginger. You see, for the garlic, one just need to chop chop hazardedly, but ginger needs to be sliced thinly. I've not acheived the skill level of Master Yan. So it takes hell of a time to slice a ginger, with me and my big fat fingers in the way. But hey, I love cooking! :)

So I'm always thinking and planning of what to cook next. :) It's always a meat dish, a vege and a soup. Just enough for the two of us. Sometimes an egg omelette is good too. We had fried prawns and mushroom fritters (aka tempura style but using plain flour instead of tempura), some over-steamed vege and raddish soup for lunch; grilled chicken wings, stir-fry vege and soup for dinner. They're actually pretty good. heh heh. Hubby loves it. And it actually tasted pretty good for a fussy eater like me. :P

Fruits later.

And maybe ice-cream.

So I'm down with flu actually. And it really makes me extremely hungry. I've been eating lots of stuffs in between, which isn't really very good for my throat. Perhaps if I'm still sick on Monday, I can take sick leave? :P haha. Mustn't start on that. Evil me.

Wen is getting another dog. A female one this time. And to be flown from Aus too. Another greyhound, if I get it correct. Pretty too. Saw her pics, really cute. :) She's going to be extremely busy now. I told her, too bad Bis had been ... you know. hahaha. Else she can start a family soon.

Life is just good. To be contented is to be happy, perhaps. :)

Friday, January 21, 2005

Unabashed praise

Did I ever mention that my new place is BEAUTIFUL? :)

Very very beautiful.

With a magnificant view of the park, and far away, at the horizon, we can see the outline of The Westin. Our view spans slightly more than a hundred and eighty degrees, and on a clear blue sky like today, the clouds seem tantalizing low. I could just about reach out my fingers and pluck a woolly mammoth to help me clean those blasted windows.

At night, the stars come alive, sparkling and twinkling with amusement at two silly mortals who kept trying to strain their necks. I would shoot the red danger light though, if I could ... but an airplane might mistake me for its landing spot. Till we clean out the terrace and lay a mat then.

The wind visits us every day, rushing in from the living room and passing through all all the other rooms before exiting with a flourish to somewhere secret. It dances through my hair, and flutters the laundry and leaves a trail of dust on the floor. Thank you. For me to clean almost every day.

Lunch is ready. A simple meal consisting of a cod fish, a mushroom omelette and a vegetable soup. Now it is waiting for my dearest one to quickly come home and sample my great cooking. Gee ... I must admit, I cook pretty well. heh heh. :P

But a lot of hardwork does go into it. And to self: never ever cut ginger when one has an open wound. Yikes, it sure stings!

And I'm actually reading Terry Pratchett's Night Watch, due tomorrow. Is it any good?

Thursday, January 20, 2005

Thursday! At last!

Internet connection at long last!


Gee, after moving to my new place, it feels like totally disconnected from the world. No telephone, no internet, and all my friends seem to have gone to ground. But it was nice ... spending all my time with my dearest hubby. :)

So I cook, and clean ... and he washes the clothes. heh heh.

I confess ... I'm a little afraid of the washing machine. It and I are not really fated to be together. I'm not the kind of girl who hangs around the washing machine, full of curiousity to know how it works. Unlike my older brother, whom I once saw a photo of, when he was a wee little boy, poking his head into the washing machine to see how it worked. My hubby said he did that too. Err ... is it something about boys and washing machines?

And so I have my internet connection and I can do my stuffs now. My work computer is so damn fishy slow, and I can feel eyes grinding into my back everytime I use it. What an awful feeling!

Third week has come and gone. Thank god tomorrow is a holiday.

Time economics (16th January)

I'm glad that the kitchen is tiny. I can mop the place in less than 5 minutes. And we're talking about getting down on hands and knees - a cursory swipe though.

In times of great need, I found that I can actually shampoo, condition, soap, rinse, wash and dry, all under fifteen minutes; including, as a bonus, breathing water into the nose.

That's no mean feat (the short time I mean, not the nose part), considering that us women usually take forever to make ourselves clean. A friend once expressed doubt that one could clean oneself so fast ... but hey, this is only a rare occurrence, and only when I'm in a great hurry.

The saying goes like this: the nearer you live to your workplace, the later you will be for your work. *pause to ingest profound statement* ... Hubby says: the mountain is far for the Emperor. How true.

For every one more minute lying in bed, that amounts to almost one more minute too close to being late.

Ahh, but what bliss it is not to go to work. :P

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Thursday ...

If all goes well ... then will I get my internet connection.


I missed blogging.

Saturday, January 08, 2005

The things I'm blessed with ...

My parents are the bestest of the best. They came to help us wash the house because they knew we are still wet behind the ears and probably not know how to handle it. I've learnt all about the art of house cleaning. :P

No one else would have helped.

Time flies. First week has come and gone. I'm tired, but nothing beats a good night sleep. I wonder where all my energy is coming from. Perhaps I'll weigh myself later to check if I've lost weight. :P

Still need to do yoga. Xena: Which day of the week do you go for yoga? :P

I hope my intermediate course starts soon.

People are getting more irrational nowadays. I quote from Xena ...

"...I then got a sermon about the quake being one of the signs of Armageddon. And the point of these... signs... that have claimed so many, many, many innocent lives AND children? A chance for the non-believers to repent, and to believe. Since this was followed with a very meaningful and expectant look, and I was an outsider of the faith, I didn't think I had the moral authority to then ask: "What about those who died? What about those who BELIEVED? What's the point to that? ALL of that."

An earthquake, a tsunami, a volcanic eruption, a typhoon ... they are natural disasters. Read: Natural. It happens. As the world is. I think the Earth has been too quiet for a long time now, and people forgot that earthquakes happen when the earth crust moves; that tsunami happens when the seabed rocks. And inevitably, people will die because of that. It is all part of a cycle, a cycle of life and death, of renewal and change. It's a disaster, it's sad.

I'm just glad no one preached at me. heh heh.

This reminds me of Tin Tin and the Shooting Star. :P

I think for all those people who just stand around and preach, they should get their arse down there and help those suffering instead of opening their mouths all the time.

But what we can avoid are wars. Where people kill one another because of oil, because of religious difference, because of petty quarrals.

So I'm super dense. Does that really mean that if we Believe, all these natural disasters could be avoided? You mean we can stop the movement of the plates with a single collective thought? Or better still, the rotation of the Earth's axis with a collective breath? I'll definitely be as mad as her if someone said that to me. Poor Xena. :P

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Ten and one things for today

1. I should never have smiled at them on the first day. Now I've lost it. It's going to be terribly difficult from now onwards.

2. I missed my kids from back there. I missed my form class from last year. I put photos of them and stuffs they gave me on my desk at work.

3. What do you do when the boy kept flipping a pen knife in his hands? I have to think of something else tomorrow.

4. There are always good things and no-so-good things. I think they are rather inefficient and extremely paranoid with security.

5. I am so very very tired but I cannot rest.

6. I was a little disappointed but I really don't care.

7. I was so happy yesterday to meet my friends again. Even though I was so tired and had to prepare lesson. Wasn't feeling very chirpy but just very pleased to be with them. Min is still wearing her red shoes. :) PM is just as lovely as ever. And we managed to get Lin to buy two pairs of shoes. heh. Thank goodness there are people like them in my life.

8. Xel is back!

9. I wonder what other people think of me.

10. I do not need coffee to stay awake. I just need to go for yoga. Damn, the next available class is Sun and my teacher is not back yet. :(

Is it really possible to sms wrongly to someone who is a complete stranger? Who the hell was that?

Monday, January 03, 2005

The First Monday of the Year

I feel sooo tired, yet I can't sleep. I couldn't sleep last night either. Feeling charged up, tensed ... and very much awake. So I have not gotten enough sleep and my dark eye-circles are starting to show. Need to relax!

My yoga teacher is still away. And there aren't any general classes till Thursday. Hmm, have to start looking elsewhere. Am definitely getting fat. Furthermore just bought a big can of Almond Roca. *fugitive look* (hide hide before hubby comes back ;P) ... and lots of biscuits and nice stuffs to eat for work. heh heh. Well, let's just console ourselves that there are lots of stairs to climb and many miles of walkways to travel. I will lose it sooner or later. *sticks tongue out*

There are monkeys and gorillas in the zoo. I need to get my mic repaired or get a new one so that 1. I won't lose my voice and 2. I will be heard. It's quite tiring to talk in a loud voice for a while. I'll need to 'exercise' my vocal cords too. Lots of exciting stuffs to do! :P

Feel crippled without a computer at work.

Supposed to be getting keys tomorrow. And turning on water, electricity and gas on Thursday. Maybe can move in by Saturday. Yay. Headache to think what to do with place. So may move in with bare minimum. It'll be better for dear hubby. I feel so bad that he's waking up extra early to drive me to work. I think he's the best guy in the whole wide world! No one can beat that. :) I am so lucky! :) :)

Sunday, January 02, 2005

Some of my favourite songs :)

I liked this very much, but hubby doesn't like it. She has a lovely voice, and the lyrics are rather sad. Maybe it takes a woman to appreciate it.

I've never been to me
By Charlene

Hey lady, you, lady, cursin' at your life
You're a discontented mother and a rich lamented wife
I've no doubt you dream about the things you never do
But I wish someone had a talk to me like I wanna talk to you

Ooh I've been to Georgia and California, oh, anywhere I could run
Took the hand of a preacherman and we made love in the sun
But I ran out of places and friendly faces because I had to be free
I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me

Please lady, please, lady, don't just walk away
'Cause I have this need to tell you why I'm all alone today
I can see so much of me still living in your eyes
Won't you share a part of a weary heart that has lived a million lies

Oh I've been to Nice and the isle of Greece
While I sipped champagne on a yacht
I moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo and showed 'em what I've got
I've been undressed by kings and I've seen some things
That a woman ain't s'posed to see
I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me

Hey, you know what paradise is? It's a lie. A fantasy we create about
people and places as we'd like them to be. But you know what truth is?
It's that little baby you're holding, and it's that man you fought with
this morning, the same one you're going to make love with tonight.
That's truth, that's love

Sometimes I've been to cryin' for unborn children
That might have made me complete
But I, I took the sweet life and never knew I'd be bitter from the sweet
I spent my life exploring the subtle whoring that cost too much to be free
Hey lady, I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me

I've been to paradise - never been to me
(I've been to Georgia and California, and anywhere I could run)
I've been to paradise - never been to me
(I've been to Nice and the isle of Greece
While I sipped champagne on a yacht)
I've been to paradise - never been to me
(I've been to cryin' for unborn children...) (to fade)

The first time I heard this, I laughed. There was a narrative before he started singing. Loved it! So does hubby. :) I think I overplayed it though. But it's also rather sad.

Puff, the Magic Dragon

Puff, the magic dragon, lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honalee.
Little Jackie Paper loved that rascal Puff
And brought him strings and sealing wax and other fancy stuff, oh

Puff, the magic dragon, lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honalee.
Puff, the magic dragon, lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honalee.

Together they would travel on boat with billowed sail
Jackie kept a lookout perched on Puff's gigantic tail
Noble kings and princes would bow whene'er they came
Pirate ships would lower their flags when Puff roared out his name, oh


A dragon lives forever, but not so little boys
Painted wings and giants's rings make way for other toys.
One grey night it happened, Jackie Paper came no more
And Puff that mighty dragon, he ceased his fearless roar.

His head was bent in sorrow, green scales fell like rain
Puff no longer went to play along the cherry lane.
Without his lifelong friend, Puff could not be brave
So, Puff that mighty dragon sadly slipped into his cave, oh


Raining Days

It's raining again today. Usually I love rainy days. I loved looking out at the grey clouds, seeing the mighty flash and raw power unleash by the heavens and feeling totally safe at home, snuggled and warm. But I have been feeling rather down. Perhaps it's really the weather, perhaps I'm just stressed.

Lin is back. I'm glad. I got a earful of how the bloody airlines left her luggage back in Kazakhstan. heh. But it's fortunate that she's back here and not off somewhere. It sure is nasty to be stuck without your luggage! I hope to see her before she flies off again. And I really hope she's all right. Quite hard to talk over the phone.

I spoke to PM yesterday. She has finally gotten a handphone. Yay! Unfortunately, she couldn't remember the number and had left the hp in her locker. I'm still waiting for her to call me from the hp so that I can get the number. shessh. She told me she got the hp because of that time she fell down the bicycle when her pager went off. And she was so cheesed off that couldn't find a coin-slot phone to return call. She is definitely living in the dinosaur age! Heh .. well, whatever the reason, I guess that means she's more contactable, but ... I hardly think so actually. :P She told me the last time the bonnet of her car went under the lorry was because she fell asleep at the wheel. It's really terrible.

I guess I'm just getting more paranoid and neurotic as I grow older. I'm just glad dear hubby doesn't drive in that conditions. Although sometimes the way he drives makes me worried. :(

It's very easy to become paranoid and frightened if one sits at home all day and brood about things. I'm stressed about the house, which is not ready yet. Nice curtains are too expensive, so I can't choose the best. Even if I can, I won't ... since I cannot bring myself to spend those kind of money. So I need to do more calculations and look around some more. We're cutting down on the lights as well. Hubby wants to do up a room for himself. It's wonderful to see his eyes sparkling and him getting excited about it, but I'm just being paranoid that we'll get cheated by all those contractors and I can't help because I know nuts about renovation. I guess I'm just not too enthusiastic about the house right now. Especially work is starting soon and there's a million and one things to worry about. I wanted to move in and spend a week getting used to everything before work started, but right now, everything seems to drop down from the sky. I feel like the Vitalstatistix, the chief of the Guals, who always worried about the sky falling on his head. And it now has, on my head. Everything seems to be so uncertain. Like not knowing how the house is going to turn out, like not knowing if I can handle those kids, like not knowing if I can teach those lessons, like not knowing if I can handle living on our own and taking care of hubby. And many many more. *sigh*

Wen is asking me to go Bali with her again this year. I don't want to go without hubby, but he wouldn't have time to go with me. And it'll be strange to go with her and hubby. And I do want to go, yet I'll miss him if I go without him, and hubby doesn't want me to go without him. So how?

And so I dump the whole load of worries to one side and go shopping, but it just felt worse. I can't wait till tomorrow. Things always feel better when it happens and you just do your best and stop worrying about it. I must go for yoga soon. :)

There's always a rainbow somewhere out there ... and gold at the end of it. :)

The Rainbow Connection
by Kermit the Frog

Why are there so many
Songs about rainbows
and what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions
but only illusions
and rainbows have nothing to hide

So we've been told and some choose to believe it
I know they're wrong wait and see
Someday we'll find it
the Rainbow Connection
the lovers, the dreamers, and me

Who said that every wish
would be heard and answered
when wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of it
and someone believed it
look what it's done so far

What's so amazing that keeps us star-gazing
and what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it
the Rainbow Connection
the lovers, the dreamers, and me

All of us under its spell
We know that it's probably magic!

Have you been half asleep
and have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name
Is this sweet sound
that calls the young sailor?
the voice might be one and the same

I've heard it too many times to ignore it
It's something that I'm s'posed to be
Someday we'll find it
the Rainbow Connection
the lovers, the dreamers and me!

Xena should be back soon. I hope she's all right.

On a gloomy and rainy day like this, the best accompanying music are choral type of music ... like a Requeim.

I need advice. Advice is telling someone what they want to hear. :X