Wednesday, June 30, 2004


I am so freaking mad and tired today.


Today's puzzle: 12 min 43 s. Hmmm.

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Blackout 2004

Blackout at about 2215h

Boring? I think it must have been the mutterings of a certain individual (though liabilities denied) who said that this country is boring. And the next thing we know, we had the most exciting blackout ever happened! Surely. Oh, isn't it so exciting? *laughs...snorts..* When was the last time it happened? It would be in this house, when I was about 10 or 11. Anyway, apparently this is a rather major blackout. All the way from here to the central - city hall - my brother was there when it blacked, and in the east. My friends in the central and north seemed unaffected.

It's rather romantic with the tea lights and the lightstick. I an writing this under the green light. When I looked out of the window, the streets and roads were dark. And it really gave me a peaceful feeling. I see the dark shadows of the trees in the moonlight, occasionally brightened up by the headlamps of passing cars. The place was quiet, birds were sleeping, and there was a hush magical feel to it all. Somehow I'm reminded of Bali, of the countryside where I see the trees in the light of the moon and millions of stars. Of course there aren't any stars tonight, cloud cover being quite thick - meaning it's a damn hot night actually. But my eyes are no longer blinded by the glaring streetlamps. Into the dark night I looked out, seeing it for what it really is, without the illusion of bright lights which hides the truth behind it's blanket of artificial warmth and security. The night has its own beauty, and secrets lurked among the shadows of the leaves. I only need the air-con now. :)

I'm not bluffing you. It is exciting. People are trapped in the lift. I can hear the firemen shouting downstairs and trying to get the doors open. See ... exciting not? Gosh, good thing my hubby didn't come over tonight. He might have been stuck!! Poor people.


Conversation with Min in ICQ:
she : got power lioa?
me : yep .. finally .. hehheh .. was baking :P
she : so what happened to the thing u bake?
me : errm ... getting cooled in the aircon? me getting baked lah .. heh heh heh

Sauna over ... heh.


It's incredibly hot and rather boring here. :)

Chapter Two

A brillant writer writes ... the 2nd chapter is out. Check it out here. :)

And strangely enough, I was sending an email to a friend, and I wrote the words KIT ... as in ... keep-in-touch. Wow. Talk about coincidences. *puffs cheeks out*

Brain Sprain

I must remember NEVER NEVER EVER to drink coffee after noon! The iced mocha I had about 7pm last night kept me awake all night. I felt drugged for 12 hours after that, and had only 3 hours of sleep. And I distinctly heard the brain going 'squeeeeesh squiiiiiish' as it protested this morning when I started work. Everything seemed to feel muted ... and no, I wasn't sleepy. Just totally drugged out.

Nope, no more coffee. Thank you. Perhaps cookies and creme at Dome might be nice. :) Or next time I shall just stick to hot chocolate. :) Or milo. me Jap teacher said in Japan milo only for kids. heh. Or maybe I might even pluck up courage and try the highly recommended Borders Chai Tea. :)

Furthermore, I had to 'try' to finish up the Quiz today, since I'm going to have to start the rehearsal tomorrow. Oh ouch ... was doing it in between classes and skipped lunch to do it. And no chocolates to keep me going. Brain indeed feeling all wrung out. You know, it's like ... you take your brains in your hands, and twist it like a dishcloth, and all the neurons and brain juices gets wrung out kinda feeling? Yep ... that's exactly how my poor brain is feeling right now. I managed to get half an hour nap just now. Whew! I should go to bed right now, but as I was saying, my brain is still a little wrung out ... now it needs to unwind. heh.

OKie, I've not exactly finish the quiz yet. I guess it's my own bloody fault for being so bloody procastinating. Perhaps I should have followed someone's suggestion and pick up the questions from the past years which were ALL DONE BY ME. Yeah ... the kids were supposed to be doing it ... but but but. *sigh* It's actually kinda fun preparing the questions ... heh .. cos there are so many interesting funny stuffs to ask, and actually I learnt a lot of things too! Like ... here, but I just need .. erm .. more time? *LOL* Oh yeah ... After that we'll train the kids to run the quiz which isn't really my job ... and sometimes I wonder, at the end of the day, am I being recognised for my efforts? *sigh*

I guess it doesn't matter ... although it does get kinda ... meaningless.

Well ... sometimes I think that the education system here is such that the teachers are doing all the learning ... and the kids ... what? Ohhh ... right, let's start on my grouses.

I do not believe in spoonfeeding. I do not like to give them model answers, so that they will memorise everything word for word. I do not care if they cannot answer the questions or if they do badly in tests as long as they do ask questions and take part in the learning actively. Eventually they'll do well for their exams anyway if they are smart and they study. I mean, in the Uni, we only have like what ... 1 month to prepare for exams ... and these kids are given like 6 months to regurgitate everything.

Unfortunately ... things don't always happen like this, one wonders about the rational of ranking, which brings out the worst kiasurism in all, parents and teachers alike. And you feel like you have to follow the sheep. baa-baaa - tasty lamb. Ranking amongst schools, ranking amongst colleagues ... ranking amongst students. And we have to teach them to 'think' and be 'creative'. rrrright.


And teachers ... like doctors, are now all into customer-oriented services.


OH damn, I took 30 minutes 9 seconds to finish today's puzzle! And my brain got twisted again. :P


This (Stars and Moon) promises to be fun. It kinda reminds me of that time a long time ago when ToC started a continue-a-story thread thingy, where inspirations would come in funnily and sometimes outrageously from strange people everywhere. That was really fun too. :) Hmm ... I wonder if the author is going to have a girl named Kat ... heh heh.

Monday, June 28, 2004


Hmmm ... I'm feeling, what's that word to describe? mixed feelings -- confused, slightly unhappy, a bit guilty, a bit down, pensive, 'puff out your cheeks' feeling.

I felt that it was a little bit my fault, for being on the side of the parent initially, and for falling for the usual 'listening to one-sided only' reason. Never ever ever believe everything a child says. I wonder if I'm simply too gullible. But on the other hand, I empathize with the kid and parent too. Imagine having to go for training four times a week everyday, gosh, that sounds ... painful. But ... and the big butt it is ... the younger generation are indeed getting softer. I don't know what to think now. The person was treated kind of an 'outcast' because of his different methods, and I'm feeling guilty for listening too much to the general gossip too, whether intentional or not. It's true, sometimes it's indeed much better to be 'blur' about things around you. Which was probably why I used to be much happier too. And it's really awful to be caught in the middle. People are so unreasonable and so thoughtless nowadays. *sigh* Every single thing also want to complain.

*puff cheeks out*


I don't usually believe in such stuffs, but Wen says it really works. She said can see results in one week! Wah .. really huh. She said her bf asked her what happened to her butt ... it looked ... smaller? heh heh. come to think of it, it does ... a little ... hahah. Ssshhhh ... she doesn't know about my blog, so let's keep this a secret between you and me, okie? hahaha. And I think it does work ... I do feel .... slimmer? heh heh heh. I don't know, it's kinda complicated. Hmmm, let's see if it works for my mom. :)


In the beginning of the year, I told myself NOT to spend so much money. Half the year has gone by ... and damnit, I've been contradicting myself. The harder you work, the more money you earned, the more money you spend. *puffs cheeks out* ... I must keep myself more occupied! Borrowed two music books home from the library recently. I will! I must!! ... okie, not so ambitious ... I shall try ... to play the O mio babbino caro before I return the books. Though methinks I'm in danger of dumping the books on the floor and not touching them till the due date. As usual. :P The plan was to learn that piece and try to transpose it for the violin. Bloody ambitious plan. Perhaps if I listen to Joshua Bell more often, I'll feel inspired to do so. heh. The limbs doesn't follow the heart's desires. ;P ... is it better to listen to music and enjoy and love every bit of it, or is it better to learn to play the music you like? And get so bloody fed up with yourself because you play like shit and end up playing half-heartedly and getting demoralised about it? More contradictions ... heh .. gee, I love the titles! :P

Maybe I should go and trim my nails first then. :P


I thought they took away one class from me ... but I counted and counted and ... damn, it added the same. Just looked contorted. Damn ... *puffs cheeks out*

Maybe I should change the title of this post today to *puffing cheeks out* instead. heh

Saturday, June 26, 2004

Think about this

Okie, so you think the Chinese Language is difficult? Let's think about it:

English Language
There are verbs, nouns, adjectives, adverbs etc ... tenses - past, present, continuous, present perfect, past perfect etc ... and not to mention so many words to know, to learn ...

Japanese Language
There are verbs, nouns, i-adjectives, nai-adjectives etc .. tenses - past, present, continuous etc etc ... and polite form, non-polite form, negative form etc etc etc ... and not to mention the three types of writings: hiragana, hatakana and kanji.

Chinese Language
There are also nouns, verbs, adjectives etc ... and guess what ... do we actually have tenses in the Chinese Language??? bet you never thought of that right? Okie, so there are also millions of words to learn ... but isn't it actually about the same as the English Language or the Japanese Language? A dictionary for Chinese Language does not seem to be thicker than that for English Language. :P

Let's take a simple sentence and think of all possible combinations:
I eat. I am eating. I am going to eat. I ate. I was eating. I was going to eat. I have eaten. I had eaten. I will eat. I would eat. I shall eat. I should eat. I am not eating. I am not going to eat. I was not eating. I was not going to eat. I shall not eat. I will not eat. I should not eat. I would not eat. I do not eat. I did not eat. (anymore?)

In Mandarin: Let's see ... correct me if I'm wrong.
Wo3 zai4 chi1. I am eating
Wo3 yao4 chi1. (I want to eat.) I am going to eat. I will eat. I shall eat.
Wo3 bu4 yao4 chi1. I do not (want) to eat. I am not eating.
Wo3 yi3 jing1 chi1 (le4). I have eaten. I had eaten.
Wo3 chi1 le4. I ate.
anymore? (I'm sure there are, but I'm quite concussed right now!)

In Japanese: Let's see...
taberun desu; tabemasu. I eat (polite)
taberu. I eat (impolite)
tabetan desu; tabemashita. I ate. I have eaten.(polite)
tabeta. I ate. I have eaten (impolite)
tabeto omoimasu. I plan to eat. I am going to eat. I shall eat.
tabenai. I do not eat (impolite)
tabenain desu; tabemasen. I do noteat (polite)
tabenakaktan desu; tabemasen deshita. I did not eat. (polite)
tabenakakta. I did not eat (impolite)
tabete imasu; tabete irundesu. I'm eating.
etc ... teacher says got 3 more forms for the continuous tense, which haven't learn yet ... and dunno still got how many more ... shessh ...

And we aren't talking about French or German or Russian or whatever. Perhaps they're just as bad. :P

Soo... the secret to being bilingual is to study, practise, listen, practise memorise, write, memorise, talk and practise and practise. Chinese Language got it easier, since there isn't the tenses to worry about, unlike English and Japanese. So why do people find Chinese difficult? Mainly it is not used, and there are too many words to learn, each word not having a pattern, since there isn't any 'alphabets' being string together. You cannot guess the meaning of the word or the pronunciation of the word by just looking at the strokes, unlike English, where sometimes you can guess the meaning and/or pronunciation of the word by reading each letter in the word. Perhaps it makes it easier that way? So the whole issue of learning Mandarin is that we are just getting too soft to learn Mandarin the proper way, which is basically the difficult way. To read, to write and most importantly, to use. That's how we learn English too, isn't it? Only unconsciously, since we use it all the time. :) It's all the same actually ... so who are we kidding?

Just two cents.

Racism will exist everywhere. It is in the nature of humans to have the need to feel superiority over others. And one of the ways is to 'gang' together with same coloured skin to bully the minority. It is in the instinct of survival to behave like this. After all, humans are no different from animals, aren't we?

Since racism exist prevalently everywhere, it is rather fortunate that we have what someone called 'polite racism' here. Basically what was meant was that you do it behind the person's back. I think it is rather 'fortunate' because it meant there is a certain, extremely minute but yes there is, tolerance towards it. In the way that you do not let the feelings overwhelm you and you end up doing something violent about it. Because all we do, is to complain about it, grumble and probably do sneaky things quietly; and are unlikely to start a fight or create a riot or kill someone or something like that. Which is, ... well, somewhat good, isn't it? But honestly, racism is basically just an excuse. Imagine if the world is made up of people of the same skin colour and speak the same language, there will still be discontentment, envy, grouses, and attempts to put other people down in a despairing way. There is discrimination everywhere. See, the person who says he hates (see the word used is hate) polite racism is actually discriminating himself among those others who did what he didn't feel is right. heh ...

Okie, I've better shut my brain. I think I'm biting my tongue in my cheek now. :P

In whatever situations everywhere, there will always be something that gives you a preference over another, that gives you strong feelings of liking or disliking something. You make your choice, to either choose to hate, or love, to be happy or be depressed or to be indifference ... and the world still continues to spin around the sun, not you. The choice is in us to adapt to the surroundings as we move in this time and space. If you cannot adapt, you are out of it. Humility, compassion, open-mindedness are some of the virtues which make one easier to adapt to the changes around us. Pride, stubborness are some which will make it harder. *shrug*


I myself am a product of a SAP school. In hindsight, I've realised how much I've benefited from the rich cultural events in my school, although somewhat one-sided. Now that I'm in a 'normal' school, I realised just how little all the cultures are being actually emphasised. You have everything, but you cannot do too much for each. By having a better understanding of my own culture, it makes me all the more curious towards others now. And who's to say we do not get to mix around with other races? One of my best friends is a Malay Muslim and I'm still learning a few things from her. Education is something we can give to you ... learning is up to you.

Recently I came across a blogger who lamented that the things she learnt in Secondary School are not really useful. Like say Maths, where would you ever use Pythagoras' Theorem again? Is it useful when you go out and work, say ... in a non-related field, or like if you are going to be doing something like mass communication? Or say, Trigonometry. I can't remember where I read it from, but it went something like Science, quite useful, since she'll know to use heat to expand the bottle cap to open the bottle ... but Maths? All you need is to know addition, subtraction, multiplication and division. Why study algebra? Why indeed? This is what I feel, and this is what I tell my kids if they asked me (which is sometimes).

The process of learning, or studying, is not simply about the contents of the subject. When we learn Maths, we don't just learn Algebra, Trigo, Geometry etc. We learn how to solve problems. We learn perseverance. We learn the patience and discipline of using a different method to try and obtain a solution. We learn about life itself. The importance of having discipline. Same for Science and for all other subjects. The contents increases your knowledge, and the knowledge may or may not be useful. But the process of learning is forever. You learn to be diligent, you learn that the choice is yours to control what you really want and you learn that good things must come with hard work. heh.

Some kids seemed quite convinced. Those who aren't, I'd say: think short term goal. You want to get your A? And if all else fails ... I'll give you a sweet if you get an A for the next test. hehheh ...

Just some more two cents. :)


So saying about choices ... I think some people subconsciously choose to be depressed because that is something they are good at. And if it elicits sympathy, good-will and attention from others, it makes them feel a little wanted and alive. Those who subconsciously choose to be depressed and successfully kill themselves probably believe that they'll get the attention they want when they are dead and are happy to do so, since they cannot get the attention or be happy when they are alive, it's better that way huh.

And speaking about courage, I once thought that it would be an extremely brave thing to actually kill oneself. It really takes enormous courage to be able to take that step into oblivion, like jumping out of a 20 something building or step into a speeding car etc. And it makes me feel good because I'd be so brave to be able to do it. See ... I'm so brave! I dared to jump! Compared to the continual existance of a spineless coward. Hmmm ... It's better to die right? Sadly, the reverse is true. It takes so much more courage to pull yourself together and to live. Whether it is a rotten life or a good one. And when you are able to do that, you'll feel happy for the stronger person you have become. And you'll realised that all things doesn't really matter. Because if you don't kill yourself now, you'll die in say 50 years time, provided you don't get into accidents. So why not just do your best in this lifetime you have?

Why not indeed? :)

There is always a first time.

Today I drove to work myself. On my own!!! :) Without my hubby sitting besides me by the passenger seat looking out for me! And I drove back myself! Just got back 5 minutes ago! Wow ... I feel ... so happy .... First time ever, drove car on my own. Was rather nervous in the beginning. Okie, so I know I've got my driving license like 3 years ago, but I've never really driven a car on my own, and it doesn't really help with hubby commenting on my parking everytime. heh heh ... I feel ... empowered! :) It's always the little things that makes one grow and become a better person, perhaps. :) Women power! Yay me. :) :)

Friday, June 25, 2004


Mom makes a mean oyster egg omelette. I must remember the ingredients:
About 2 tablespoons of sweet potato flour
About 1 1/4 cup of water mix with flour
2 eggs, garlic, some sauce and chilli and some vinegar or mirin with the oysters.
Serve with spring onions.
Okie ... got it. :)

Feeling Grouchy

... like Cookie Monster ... ggrrrr.

It's raining.
I'm trying to tidy my room.
Which is in a mess as usual.
And I still can't find the discount voucher.
I ought to be studying my Japanese.
Since there are so many things I do not know.
I ought to tidy my desk at work too.
But the mess is simply piling up.
And I'm building condos on my table for lack of space.
I'm listening to Chopin's Piano Concerto No 2 in F minor Op 21, 2 (Larghetto) by Martha Agerich.
I do not understand why there are two copies of the same piece in my iTunes.
I need to tidy up my iTunes too.
I need to spend some time and index all my CDs.
I have finished my chocolates.
I am feeling grouchy.

Hmm ...

Oakley to burn fake goods worth $6,000

The first thought that went through my mind was ... why burn? Why not give them to the poor countries?


I did a rather not-very-nice thing yesterday. In the MRT, there was this little girl who was rather hyper throughout. She was sharing a seat with her sister and looking out of the window; and she kept swinging her hair and smacking me on my face, while I was trying to read my book. Well .... it was extremely rare that I tie my hair up in a ponytail, but I had just bought a new hairclip, and I was rather curious too ... no points of guessing what I did ... heh heh ... it was certainly time to do a bit of neck exercises :P

Slightly guilty but unrepentant.

Parents should always be extra vigilant with their kids.

To be or not to be.

Happiness ...

Something thought-provoking:

Do we ever lose the ability to be happy, with time or age? Can personal trials cause us to lose that ability, irrevocably, to reach for happiness? How do we find what we have lost?

Another person's view:

I quote -
The Buddha spoke to this question in many ways during the 40 years he wandered around India teaching, but his core message was that of clinging and nonclinging. If something good happens, you have a reflexive tendency to try to hold on to it, and if something bad happens, you have a tendency to push it away. Likewise, if you see something you like, you move towards it; or if something is distasteful, you pull away. This clinging response is inevitable if you believe yourself to be the same as or the "owner of" all the desires and fears that arise in you. You become trapped in an endless web of tension and contraction.

The Buddha taught that for most people life is just this way: The good things either go away, lose their appeal, or never happen, while the bad things come despite your best efforts. So when you try to manage your life by clinging and aversion, you are left dissatisfied, uneasy, or without a sense of meaning or wholeness. Moreover, being identified with the clinging Self and its endless wants and fears means that even when things are going well, there is no room to breathe, to experience the spontaneous joy that is the basis of happiness. Every day becomes a tally sheet of gains and losses; the bountiful mind shrinks, reduced to being an inner bookkeeper huddled over an account ledger of what is to be held and what is to be discarded.

From Yoga Journal here

Thursday, June 24, 2004


Now this is super cool! I wonder how I looked when I do backbends ... More on backbends here.

Chai Tea

heh ... the way he puts it, one feels one must try the Chai Tea at Borders one day.


There was a very nice tea which was served to me when I was at the hairdresser once. A place which I've only been to once ... but the tea was really wonderful. Think it was some red bean or red dates tea or something. Must go back to that salon again, just for the tea. heh heh.

And the ginger tea at this other place was really good too. So warm and comforting and smells really great. I wonder what goes into it. The ginger tea we had in Bali during the tub experience was really great too! Hmm, I need to try brewing my own some time soon.


Chai Tea, so strange ... just when something comes to your attention, you seem to see it everywhere. In the current newsletter from my yoga school, here is a recipe for Morning Chai Contemplation:

Ginger Chai (spiced tea) (makes two cups)

Two bags black tea
Two inch long old ginger, grated
Three cardamom pods, split open
Two inch long cinnamon stick
Black pepper - ground
Coriander seed & Cloves - 2 pinches each
Brown sugar to taste
1 cup water/1 cup milk

Bring to boil the cup of water. While waiting, wash and grate ginger. Add tea and all the spices and bring to boil again. Add milk, simmer, steep and strain.

While tea and spice steep, stretch out in a few of your favourite kitchen counter poses.


My hubby likes the Earl Grey at Coffee Club. He said it is special, unlike any Earl Grey he has ever drunk. I tried it that time and have to agree with him that it tasted rather unique. Unfortunately Coffee Club didn't want to diverge their secret or sell their special tea leaves to us. They said it's not for sale. DUH. Does anyone know where I can get Coffee Club Earl Grey tea for home consumption? :)

Bored ...

01. What time do you get up?
on working days - 5.30am; else - 6.30am to 7am.

02. If you could eat lunch with one person, who would it be?
myself at my favourite dim sum place :)

03. Gold or silver?
definitely not silver, a mixture of white and yellow gold

04. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Harry Potter

05. Favorite TV show(s)?
don't watch tv nowadays.

06. What did you have for breakfast?
a glass of milo with full cream milk and condensed milk

07. Who would you hate to be stuck in a room with?
people I do not like

08. What is your middle name?
chinese character yi2 as in contentment, told my yoga teacher once that it literally means the heart on the pavilion - contented

09. Beach, City or Country?
dunno, each has their beauty

10. Favorite Ice cream?
haagen daaz

11. Butter, plain or salted popcorn?
do not take popcorn, but don't mind butter

12. What kind of car do you drive?
renault new megane - cherry red, usually hubby drives though

13. ?? my favourite number!

14. What characteristic do you despise?

15. Favorite flower?
lilies, especially kala lilies

16. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?

17. What color is your bathroom?
my parents actually - light pink

18. Favorite brand of clothing?
currently Max & Co.

19. Where would you retire to?
somewhere high up in mountains or near a beach with hubby

20. Favorite day of the week?
no particular favourite

21. What did you do for last birthday?
went shopping and had dinner with Wen at a French place

22. Where were you born?

23. Favorite sport to watch?

26. What fabric detergent do you use?
i don't wash clothes ... yet

27. Coke or Pepsi?
neither, do not take soft drinks

28. Are you a morning person or a night owl?
definitely morning person, will start yawning at 9pm

29. What is your shoe size?
UK 38

30. Do you have any pets?
no, but does the cat count? only it is now missing *sniff*

Thinking Aloud ...

... or rather, thinking a-blog. heh heh.

I've just finished Ian Rankin's The Black Book. I think I've finished reading all his books on Inspector Rebus. I think. I'm starting on PD James A Certain Justice. I can't remember what are the books of hers I've read but I'm sure I've not read this one ... erm, have I?


Bugger it all ... I have read PD James A Certain Justice before! Ack!

Why am I so fascinated by crime books? Or murders and mysteries? It's like a study of human's darker and baser nature. There is a sense of suspense, or seeing things not in the glare of the sunlight, but in the shadows of the twilight where everything is muted and grey. In a murder story, it is not the murder that matters. It is only the beginning. The fascination comes in the revealing of the murderer's identity, and what leads him to commit the act of violence. It is about the life and dreams and hopes of the murderer, and the probing into the mind of a seemingly sane person to discover the deep dark secrets within the depths. A good murder book which keeps me totally riveted is one which expounds on the character and personality of the suspects, the whys and hows and the whodunits. I like PD James for that, and especially Minette Walters. Ian Rankin's is more on the controversal inspector Rebus, of how much a loner he is who is full of contradictions. Agatha Christie, on the other hand, is a different world of crime stories all together. Hers is classic, of a romantic type, and not as dark or deep as today's crime writers. Sherlock Holmes is .. erm, more for the puzzles and trying to catch Dr Conon Doyle at solving the puzzle before his famous detective, though usually it doesn't work cos' the reader is not privy to all the clues Holmes has. heh. Then there are some really good ones I've read, but can't remember the titles. Some by foreign authors too.

Are there any other good books to read?

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

More speckled thoughts

Depression is a real medical condition. It eats away into you just like cancer, only more insidious and more powerful because most people do not believed that it is an illness. There is medication for it, but people do not really believed that it worked, do they? And in my opinion, nothing beats depression like exercise. yoga. a swim. jogging. fresh air. wind blowing in the face. cycling down slope full speed like a manaic. ice-skating. blading.

When my grandfather passed away, my grandma was very depressed. But there was no medication for her for that. She had some medciene for her stroke and some other stuffs which may/or may not have helped. But eventually they concluded that she didn't need the medication. She was seeing a neurologist that time, or was it a urologist? I tried to tell them to get her to see a psychiatrist, as adviced by my good friend, for her dementia at least ... and her schizophrenia before it got worse ... but ... :( And slowly she falls into this current state. Nobody cared enough to do anything about her condition. My mom is too weak to make decisions ... and there was the problem of money as usual. It is heart-breaking to see my grandma in this state, and to see my mom shouldering all the workload. Sometimes I wish there is a miracle cure for her state of mind. Othertimes I wish ... *sigh*


Did I mention that reading other people blogs can become quite addictive? How so? In the first place I always liked reading. I like to read about murders and mysteries (preferably by British authors, for American authors tend to be too violent and ...well, less subtle) and sometimes fantasie and science fiction. But blogs on the other hand, are of real people. Even though I do not know them, sometimes reading blogs strike a deep sense of fear in self, or perhaps a little sense of understanding and empathy. There seem to be many blogs of bittersweetness and sadness, but there are also blogs of humour and perceptiveness. Of human nature and everyday common thingies. It's a different thing all together from reading the normal stuffs I read. It's the little things that matter. And most interestingly, sometimes it makes me feel most glad to be myself, here and now. As it is, not to ask too much from life.

I am reminded of reading a book once, when I was in Sec 2. I can't remember the title anymore, but the book is a true story about a lady who suffers from multiple personalities or schizophrenia. Of her thoughts and trials and how she coped. That book hit a nerve somewhere. It's hard to describe the feeling, but it's a feeling that goes deep into the bones. Other books that affected me similiarly: To kill a mockingbird; 1984; The Diary of Anne Frank. It's the kind of book that has an aura to it; I'll read only once and will always remember the feelings of it. It's kinda frightening actually. More frightening than any horror books. I never like horror books ... they only gave cheap thrils. bah. I never dare to read horror books alone though. heh

And writing a blog can also become just as addictive. :) I think the best part about writing is that when I'm angry ... I'll put it down, and purge it out of my system. Then I'll not be yelling at some hapless innocent person who happened to be in my way. :) Then when I read about it again, I'll laugh at myself for being so silly at that time. :P And all the things I want to remember will also be here for me to read.

The only not so good part about reading other people's blogs, for me, at least ... is wanting to reach out to them. Sometimes it gets hard to resist putting a comment down, or wishing to know the person irl. I'm not sure if it's a good thing. Is it better to remain an observer? Looking in through the glassball and see the snowflakes of another soul? Is it too intruding to put down comments and interact? If a person is depressed and wishes to die, should I try to knock some sense? It's absolutely none of my business, but I'm rather itching to do so. If you admire someone's writing, should you comment so? It does seem somewhat superficial. Perhaps it's just boredom.

Spotted thoughts ... speckled thoughts ... too much of them now, no time for any soon.


The Cat is missing. Has been gone for more than three weeks. We kept hoping that she'll come back. When my in-laws went away, there was no one around to feed her or play with her. Hubby said perhaps she has found someone else to take her in. He's just as sad as I am. We stood at the front of the gates and mewed a few times. loudly. But there was no pitter-patter of small padded feet, nor any answering cries. She is gone, for real this time.

There is no more soft cat head lounging on my feet. There is no more smooth silky cat for my toes to stroke. There is no more warm cuddly cat for me to hug. There is no more patient loving cat for me to tug her tail. There is no more sweet tempered cat for me to swipe the floor with. There is no more cat. Lost. Our cat is gone at last. It was simply a matter of time actually. I hope she is somewhere happy, dreaming of rats and sparrows and of us who will always love her. And I will still continue to hope that she'll find her way back to us one day.

And now, to tame her irritating off-springs she left behind. There are two of them, as pretty as the mom, but of different colours. And my ... what cowards they are. Only knowing how to make lots of mewing noises when hungry and being so afraid of us that they simply refused to let you touch them or let you come near them. Ungrateful little worms. Too afraid to wander out of the house as well. Humf. Give me back the Cat in exchange for these two!


The Wrong Side of the Bed

I just have to have a slight migrane today, of all days ... the day when I have to be back in school for extra classes. *sigh*


I hate it when people leave things on my table without telling me what it is all about. I stared at the milk carton for a while, thinking ... is this just another of his wierd game by this particular colleague who tends to be a practical joker at times? Couldn't make any sense out of it, besides the right side of my head is throbbing. Whoooosh, place for such things is in the wastepaper basket. Good riddance.

And so ... just a moment ago, I was going through the emails and found, to my consternation, that the milk carton was left by HOD for the science quiz. I quote Captain Haddock "Ten thousands thundering typhoons!" OH hell ... and a few minutes ago, the cleaner just cleared the wastepaper basket. Thank you very much.

It's definitely one of those days. :(


Not to mention I've been sneezing rather non-stop ever since I've got here. Getting asphyxiated here.

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

The Little Things

From someone's blog ...

I quote:

What's a little wait,
with a hop, skip and twiddle,
in the grand scheme of the sanitary piddle? :)

Now ... that is really so quirky, so funny and so fitting for the subject ... and a perfect little rhyme it is. Impressive indeed. :)


Do not sweep the floor before brushing hair.
Do not sweep the floor before brushing hair.
Do not sweep the floor before brushing hair.
Do not sweep the floor before brushing hair.
Do not sweep the floor before brushing hair.

Whoops ... I did it again. heh heh


I am sooo unmotivated in doing what I should do. There are only five days left before the wonderful world of dreams dissolved in smoke. And tomorrow is the first step to all the good things yet to come ... still I've not completed the work! I am 30% looking forward to next week and 70% still wishing that holidays are longer. :) ... gotta start up the engines soon. vrrroooommm ...

The Reluctant Human

On the CRD - a young man in his twenties; place of address where death occurred: ground floor of a condo; Disease or condition leading to death: multiple injuries.

It definitely read like a case of suicide, though perhaps he was beaten up by a gang or something? Nevertheless at the end of it all, it was just a piece of paper.

What drives a person to suicide? Feelings of utter dispair; feelings of utter meaninglessness in life; feelings of utter boredom; feelings of utter stress; feelings of utter uselessness; feelings of utter loneliness ... and the list go on.

Many years ago, my friend told me that if I jumped, he'll visit my funeral gladly and he only need to give me a measly $2 for the funeral. Say, compare to a few years thence if I were ever to have a wedding dinner, he'll have to fork out more money. heh. Hmm, he'd better give me a huge red package when I have my wedding dinner (if I'm going to, that is).

Anyway, I think I'm just ever too curious to know what is going to happen tomorrow. It's rather mind-boggling to understand why people would want to kill themselves. What happened to the instinct for survival where every living creature should have? It is probably due to some chemical imbalances in the system. Perhaps some drugs might help in restoring sanity, and thus may help the person to cope slightly better. Perhaps the extreme feelings may go away, leaving you easier to cope with the everyday.

Then again, our lives are our own. Why is one not allowed to die? Dying is so cheap. After a while, you would also fade from other people's memories. Perhaps it's better to be a cat or dog, where life everyday is simply waiting for when the food is coming or when my mistress is coming home to play with me; aside from that, you would be spending your time sleeping throughout the day or just watching that lizard on the wall and wondering if you can pounce on the lizard faster than it can hide. Or looking at the sparrow on the grass and thinking how fun it'll be to have it in your claws at your mercy .. muahahaha.

I'm not writing my thoughts on the reluctant human very well, since I'd just had my sugar fix. Yeah, sugar fix ... no, not chocolates ... but pure undulated sugar. Lots of sugar sprinkled liberally on the bread, topped up with melted cheese and rich creamy butter, finished off by dipping into a bowl of more sugar and feeling it go crunch crunch in your mouth ... mmmmhhh .... :) Perhaps eating sugar like that will help drive depression away?

About three years ago, we had a suicide back at work. The kid was only 12/13 years old. During the postmotem, there was guilt, sadness, puzzlement. He was a bright kid with a bright future. Had friends, family and support. But something went seriously wrong somewhere and he fell to his death. People are all dying everywhere, every minute and every day. There are those who did not wish to die, but were killed. There are those who chose to do so because they just could not go on anymore. Frankly speaking I don't care. The world doesn't care. No one cares. The faster you come to that conclusion, the less expectations you have on the world. The world does not revolve around you. You are given a life in this world in this time. Whatever you make of it only concerns yourself. You can be like a sea cucumber in the ocean, just a spineless creature sitting in the sea-bed waiting for a fisherman to catch you and serve up to his family; or you can be a turtle flying in the skies exploring new territories, and doing all sorts of summersaults and flying stunts. Flying turtles bring back nice memories. I once wrote a story on flying turtles ... sent it to a friend ... but now dunno where it is. *sigh*

Don't be ... a reluctant human.

Monday, June 21, 2004

Oh my ...

I heard on the radio Valdimir Ashkenazy as ... Bloodymir Ashkenazy ... hahaha.

Sunday, June 20, 2004

The View From the Plane

It is exactly one week when I took the plane back to Singapore from Bali. I still missed that place. *sigh* It's always rather depressing when one's holiday ends, and one has to return to reality and back to work soon. Where troubles and worries await, getting ready to pounce on one ...

Oh well ...

Anyway, I always like to get the window seat in the plane. Wen likes the aisle seats, how different can we get? :) And we managed to get what we want on the flight back. With an empty seat in between us. What more could we ask for right? heh heh. I had my nose stuck to the window during take off and landing since there was no movie for entertainment. It was afternoon, and the skies were sooo sooo blue .... the clouds were wonderful and the land fell behind in green and gold and brown .... The runway at Bali was by the sea. Faster and faster we went, the stream of deep blue sea sparkled in the sun and was soon left behind. The clouds were so white, hiding secret flying lands in them. Perhaps there were flying turtles swimming in and around the clouds, saying hi to each other and playing hide and seek with one another. When the plane flew past, they'll duck into the clouds and watch secretively from under all the white puffs, with big unblinking eyes. Grandpa turtle would of course choose the largest cloud to sunbathe. The sun was golden with the rays clear and truthful, and Grandpa turtle would definitely need sunglasses. Besides he'll want to look cool in his flowery kakhis and straw hat, drinking his ice-on-high squash. I was trying very hard to catch the little turtles flying in the sea of sky-blue. Perhaps they're flying with the plane, only making sure to keep within the 'blind-spot' of the travellers inside. Or perhaps the glitter in the blue sky is them, as the light falls on the flying turtles and reflect back into our eyes. Or perhaps our brains just cannot acknowledge the flying turtles and we only see them as one and the same as the snow-white clouds.

Who knows right? How would you know if the cloud you saw was a cloud and not just another flying turtle? :)

And as the plane reached its destination, the clouds parted again and the land of greens and browns and golds came ever closer and larger. The blue skies meet with the deep bluish-green sea and the ships and boats in the waves become more distinct. The ships seemed frozen in time, with little trails of waves slinking behind them. I saw trees and trees and tress, of different sizes and shapes and colours. I saw winding rivers and ox-bow lakes snaking in and out so calm and collect. I saw footpaths and sandroads and bitumen-filled roads. I saw toy houses and toy cars and ... no, I couldn't see toy people. heh. And as the plane circled in again, everything became slightly larger through the magnifying glass but there was still an illusion of unreality. Me, the giant watching the lilliputians. If I could just reach out my hand through the glass pane and picked up the toys on the ground. My breath would cause the trees to sway in the breeze and just a few steps would reach me the horizon. Oh, how powerful and grand it all was!

Then the plane touched ground. Without a bump really! And reality slowly floated back to me. I think it's really easy to fly a plane in the air rather than driving a plane around the runway. Are you sure the windspan of our plane won't hit that plane parked next to us? Huh? You sure? All to soon, we are made to leave.


I always liked a window seat because I liked looking out of the window. During the flight there, the window seat was really wasted on the two ladies. Chitter-chatter all the way, head to toe all expensive branded goods. humf. I liked the window seat because I can curl up by the window and draw my legs in. If it is a long flight I'll probably ended up with different contortions and poses. And sometimes I'll go to the back of the plane and do some stretching. Good thing I'm small size. Nope, no lilliputian here. heh

Saturday, June 19, 2004

Some scattered thoughts

For some people, it seemed like they'll never fit in anywhere. I always felt like an outsider when I was in school. From young. Somehow I didn't feel like I fit in with the rest of the crowd. Instead, I'll have my nose forever stuck in a book and dreaming of worlds beyond the horizons. Worlds of imaginary, worlds where I build and create. Worlds in my control. And the truth of reality is simply too hard to bear, that perhaps I shut my eyes and thoughts to it and simply exist. Even till now, and I dislike reading newspapers.

But life is so fleeting. There must be a compromise. I could wish I lived at the top of the mountains with my dearest one, with flying turtles and and bleating sheeps for company. No cares, no worries ... then what is the meaning of living? Life is a journey of discovery, a journey where one experiences. But if we were to coat our lives with sugar and honey and block out the night, are we short-changing ourselves? Then again, if we can coat our lives with sugar and honey and all things nice, why not? Why open our minds to the truth? Do we need to know? Does it make any changes significantly?

Every place is the same; every country is the same. Even if you live outside the matrix, your choices are still governed, only by a different set of rules. In this case, the rules of survival. If you live within the matrix, then you are being controlled by the rules of the matrix. So .... the only choice one has, is to choose whether to live within or outside the matrix .. wala ... haha.

For me, the only real happiness is to have found someone who understands me, who loves me for myself, whom I understand and loves. And it doesn't matter where I am and what I do, for there is a bubble around us where we can return to, and all else is simply just that.

Unhappiness, upset and loneliness. As people grow old, and their children grow up, they have their own lives to lead, their own happiness to pursue. There is work pressures, working from 8am to 10pm; and all one wants is to spend the rest of the time doing own things. Are we being selfish if we want to make use of our precious time for ourselves? We're still there for you, but just a little further, but we still do make time for you. Can you not understand? Can you not let go more and make it less guilty for us to live our lives? I can understand your loneliness and I know that all you want is our presence. But there's nothing for me to do there, and I'm not gregarious by nature. It's hard for me to continually keep up a conversation with you or try to keep you entertain, when all I want is to curl up and read a book or sleep or use the computer. Sheesh, most of the time I'm in my room and hardly talk to my own parents too! I know that you wish that we will always remain by your side but you have to give us room to grow. Leave us guilt free to be happy. What is done is already done. Let us make our choices without any more unhappiness.

Most of the time I'm a very unsociable creature. Whenever my family has big extended long family gatherings like family dinner with all the relatives, I will go ... yes, eat my share of the food, definitely ... and stick my face behind a book. Minimum conversation, not that anyone really wants to talk to me anyway. I do not like eating with colleagues. Unless I'm feeling unnaturally hyper that day, else five minutes to finish up everything and back to work. I have a small circle of friends, whom I make an effort to keep in touch - like three of four times a year. And thank goodness for the internet. Hey, it's supposed to be an improvement, since when I was young, I never had a habit of keeping in touch with anyone. I never called anyone outside school hours from primary school all the way to JC. I even forget my classmates' names when I return to school after the holidays! heh heh ... good thing the close circle of my friends stick. I really appreciated that.

My circle of friends are those who have the same hobbies as me, or who have similar interests as I have. They remain my friends because there is something we can do together, a common bond which brings us together. And I find it hard to talk to other people otherwise. It's just me ... and it's very tiring having to keep up conversations with people so different and so strange. And there are those whom I'm eternally grateful to because they will still try to keep in touch with me even though I never did. Which reminds me ... I should. whoops :P

And thank god for Wen ... sometimes I really wonder where I will be if not for her. She's the closest friend I could have, not that close but close enough. She's someone who got me doing all the things I wanted to do, for I'm afraid of doing and I'll be forever procastinating. Would I have done yoga? Would I have gone to Japan? Would I have gone for any holidays at all as a matter of fact. heh. Would I have become more independent? Would I have managed to get my ROM going properly? Hmm ... wow ... I doubt I'd have done so many things without her motivation and instigation. :) And the strangest part is that we are so different. heh heh ... Some of my friends are always wondering how I knew her ... I wonder what story I said ... heh heh. People whom I take an effort to try to keep in touch with are those friends who have in some way or other helped me in my life. These are real friends whom I'll always treasure.

I'm falling asleep ... scattered thoughts indeed. :)

Guess what my hubby found when he searched 'doctor' on the thesaurus ...

Entry: doctor
Function: noun
Definition: practitioner
Synonyms: bones, butcher, croaker, doc, expert, general practitioner, healer, intern, MD, medic, medical man, medicine man, medico, physician, professor, quack, sawbones, scientist, specialist, surgeon
Concept:medical entity
Source: Roget's New Millennium™ Thesaurus, First Edition (v 1.0.5)
Copyright © 2004 by Lexico Publishing Group, LLC. All rights reserved.



Shopping yesterday was fun. I bought a blue blouse and a scarf from Max & Co. Items on sale at 30% but still very expensive actually. Hubby said long time ago don't tell him how much I spend ... heh heh ... especially if I'm buying clothes for him. So if I see anything nice, I'll just get it myself with my own money. Whether it be stuffs for him or for myself. :)

* * * * *

Books: I got the Book 3 of the Sovereign Stone Trilogy. If Kino doesn't have it, go to Borders. At least you can place an order for the book if they don't have it there. And if you cannot wait, check it out at Sunny and hey presto! They've got it! Brand new, slightly cheaper and comes all wrapped up in a plastic cover as well. Now, why didn't I think of going to Sunny in the first place? :O

* * * * *

CDS: Got Ashkenazy playing Tchaikovsky's The Seasons ... hmm, I think I was in the middle of learning 'October'. Did I manage to complete learning the piece? That was also in the beginning of the year. I guess I must have ... heh. Also got Gentle Dreams by Julian Lloyd Webber ... now why did I get this CD? OKie, so HMV was playing it over the speaker when I was shopping. DUH.

* * * * *

Lunch was great. A little unfortunate quite a lot of stuffs were finished. Friends were great too. Long time never see them. Seeing them again soon! Yay! :)

Friday, June 18, 2004

I think there is something wrong with the weighing scales. I have put on 2 kilos! Now, how could that be? heh ... nevermind, I'll lose all of them after the holidays. Once term starts, I'll be on a bread-and-tomato diet for lunch, and sometimes if too busy, I probably won't have time for lunch too! So ... heck, I want to eat more now! Dim sum later .. yum yum yum :)

Should I take up a Master's? Everyone I know is doing it ... further studying and doing their Master's, and finishing their Master's already. *sigh* ... What can I do if I want to? A Master's in Biochemistry? A Master's in Chemistry? A Master's in Education? MSc sounds damn difficult. Advanced Organic Synthesis ... urrgh. Interesting, but ... extremely tough. Do I want to work so hard? Sometimes I'm even already regretting taking up Japanese. I'm an extremely lazy bum. But the good side is that it is rather fun, and it feels meaningful to be doing something ... intellectual? Rather than let my brains become mush. Or maybe I should go and do my diploma in music? But I can't even play the stupid Fantasie Impromptu properly! Waah ... my fingers are all atrophied. It's so hard to relearn pieces. :( I need some motivation and inspiration to work hard. What can a Master's do for me? I'm afraid that it'll be too difficult and I'll lose interest mid-way and it'll become a waste. Is there anything interesting left to do?

Damn, I need to send in my CV soon. I need to start work on the stupid quiz soon. Damn, so many things yet to be done. It's so depressing just to think about it. And I end up doing all the things which I should not be doing instead of the things which I should be doing. :( Arrgh.


Bali photos are not ready yet because I misplaced the discount voucher for the development of the prints back at the shop where I bought the rolls of film. No, I don't believe in digital cameras ... yet. Maybe I should, but I like my old auto non-digital one very much. Damn, I really can't find the discount voucher, I hope I haven't mistakenly thrown it away. :( Bad news comes in a roll. *sigh* I must also remember to develop extra photos for V from my ROM. Damn, that's another procastinated job waiting to be done.

TO self: Get your butt off and stop procastinating. I need to start planning!! Holidays are going to be over soon! When am I going to finish that stupid quiz?

Self: Okie, after today, I shall do (in order)
finish setting the astro questions for quiz
proof read CV and send it off
go swimming with hubby
revise katakana
go for japanese class
(at least I've finished all my japanese hw for this week! ^.^)

Hmm, perhaps better not be too ambitious. :)

I managed to do the push up in Chaturanga Dandasana properly now! Without help from knees! Yay me!! Only about two times each ... but it's definitely a small step towards doing handstand without assistance!! heh heh :)

Whooppee :)



This is jolly interesting. Check it out here.

Some interesting proverbs:

"Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes straight to the bone."

"Doubt is the beginning, not the end, of wisdom."

"Familiarity breeds contempt."

Hmm .. so much more stuffs to read, another day ... it's a beautiful day today, and I'm going shopping! yay! heh heh


Thursday, June 17, 2004

Extracted ...

One of the great things about Teach for America teachers is their creativity. Ms. Gerchman was not satisfied simply writing referrals to send students to the office when they She decided to write the best referrals possible. These referrals stand as a testiment to the mind-blowingly stupid behaviors that middle-school teachers face each and every day. I wanted to share them as a sort of 21 referral salute to her leaving.

Ms. Gerchman writes,

"Student achievement is a beautiful thing. But so is teacher tenacity in the face of some truly ridiculous stunts. The following are actual discipline referrals I’ve written for my charming students.

September 11, 2002: “Literally rolling on floor during class mural-making session.”

November 8, 2002: “In the middle of another student’s turn at reading, he burst out in song: ‘I like big butts and I cannot lie …’”

November 13, 2002: “Insulted a classmate by calling her a dwarf.”

November 14, 2002: “Will not stay in seat, will not pay attention, despite my numerous, high-decibel entreaties for him to do so.”

January 13, 2003: “Simply does not understand concept of not talking while teacher is doing same. Maintains, ‘didn’t do nothing’ and ‘why do you always have to write people up?’ and ‘how much you gotta write?’”

January 22, 2003: “I have told the whole class to be quiet. I have told him to be quiet. I have said, ‘This is your last warning.’ Still, the boy speaks.”

January 27, 2003: “When I gave her the attached referral and was talking to her about completing her classwork in the Student Management Room, she continued to make smart retorts until I began to raise my voice. Then she said, ‘Don’t you be raising your voice at me.’”

February 7, 2003: “Came over to me while I was writing another student up and asked why I was doing so. I said it was none of her business and she had to get back to work. She said, ‘It’s a free country.’”

February 23, 2003: “Stuck middle finger up at me repeatedly throughout class period. When I privately asked her why, she replied, ‘Shut up.’”

March 4, 2003: “Brought no paper to class and claimed this was a good reason not to take required notes.”

March 10, 2003: “Told to pull his pants (around his knees) up, he insisted on blowing a salute through a rolled-up paper horn first.”

April 11, 2003: “Combing a student’s hair instead of looking at book. I said, ‘This is not a beauty parlor; put the brush away,’ and she said, ‘I ain’t got a brush.’”

May 8, 2003: “Raised hand and, when called on, said, ‘I hate this class.’”

May 12, 2003: “Playing at another teacher’s door when sent to sharpen pencil, then insulting her while I write this (‘It’s not my fault her ears are stuffed with mashed potatoes’). Earlier in period, told me I needed to take a bath!”

October 22, 2003: “Talking incessantly, throwing bits of paper, getting out of seat, and mysteriously ‘falling out of desk’ not one but three times.”

October 30, 2003: “Will not raise hand. When I yelled at him, he made a big show of wiping saliva off his forehead and said, ‘I already took a shower.’”

December 1, 2003: “I asked the class to list our mandatory school supplies. He raised his hand and said, ‘Weed.’”

December 12, 2003: “Typically requires 3-5 requests before following directions, such as ‘sit down’ or ‘come here.’”

February 11. 2004: “Sprayed extremely potent cologne in middle of class, aggravating several students’ allergies.”

March 4, 2004: “Absolutely refuses to accept even minimum responsibility for any action.”

March 15, 2004: “Will not stop making cruel comments to another student about that student’s late father. Given a stern and clear warning not to discuss this, he said, ‘I hate it when it’s raining; the tombstones get wet.’”

Heh .. that was rather funny ... :)

Well, after reading that, I think sometimes I am extremely fortunate here. In Singapore, students may misbehave, but they still aren't so bad ... yet. Thank goodness for that. When the kids misbehave, telling them off usually help. I've never send them off to the Principal before yet. Somehow we handle them ourselves, I doubt it is the culture to send every disciplinary case up. Perhaps we'll discuss the student with the disciplinary committee later, but we don't have the habit to write referrals and send them off.

I do get disruptive students in my class, especially in my Normal Acad class. With 45 of them squeezed in a cramped classroom and half of them not interested in learning, it can get very demoralising to teach. It was really like a zoo and complains to decrease the class size fell on deaf ears. I was simply told that it's really not too bad, other NA students are worse than them. Period. The students were not motivated and not interested. One wonders why they are there. I guess perhaps it wasn't too bad after all ... like it could have been worst right? We shall always look at the bright sides of things. Oh well .... anyway, the good news is that after 1 1/2 years with them, I think they do like me somewhat ... heh ... which means they really tried to do my work. Or perhaps they just like the sweets I gave them. *LOL*

It's really not too bad. Teaching itself and dealing with the kids is fun and challenging. It's all the bloody admin work and useless meetings and 'shows' you have to put up which is draining. There is a basic lack of trust in our culture. And it goes right from the top all the way down to the bottom. *sigh*

Yay! Hammie finally writes ... after a long long break. But since he doesn't have a comments page, here is my comment to his latest :To Hammie, perhaps you might want to think of getting a non-state-of-the-art-ancient-but-has-proved-extremely-useful-all-over-the-centuries electric FAN! :) Place it on your desk or floor and blow the cobwebs of smouldering air away.

Extracted ....

Standing on Your Own Two Hands

When I was first learning to do Adho Mukha Vrksasana (Handstand) years ago, my kind but honest teacher observed, "You don't really want to get up there very badly, do you?" She couldn't help but notice that my baby kicks propelled my feet barely a foot off the ground. Once she helped me into the pose, I discovered I actually didn't mind being up there; in fact, I really liked building my strength and learning to balance lightly in a new relationship with gravity. But I still feared that if I kicked up too high, I'd bang my head against the wall, which I certainly did mind.

Looking around in my yoga classes, I see plenty of other students showing some degree of Handstand-phobia. Excepting the former gymnasts and a minority of athletically gifted daredevils, many of us seem to react with a certain amount of reluctance when a teacher blithely announces, "OK, Handstand, everybody." The same students who spring into standing poses and can't wait to do complicated twists suddenly start fussing with their clothes, retying their hair, or discover an urgent need to run to the bathroom. My friend Margie (I've changed the name to protect her dignity) even confessed to me that she'd walked out of a private lesson when her teacher announced it was time to work on Handstand without the benefit of a supporting wall. "I don't have any problem doing Headstand or even Pincha Mayurasana (Forearm Balance)," she says, "but for some reason the idea of supporting all my weight on my own little hands made me panic."

Handstand is not a particularly difficult pose physically, although it does require a certain level of flexibility and strength. Instead, the real challenge of Handstand for many students is working on the necessary physical skills in a calm, focused manner while confronting the primal human fear of falling. For a beginning inverter the seemingly simple act of kicking the legs up to a supporting wall can be frightening. Even for more advanced Handstanders, going to a next level with the pose—say, leaping up with both legs at once or balancing in the center of the room—presents challenges that call up the fear factor.

... continue at Yoga Journal here.

I need more practise .. practise ... practise!!! :)

Okie ... I've calmed down now. Watched Harry Potter last night. Was quite a nice movie, except that it's not so exciting since I knew that SB was good and RL was a werewolf all along. No surprises. The dementors weren't quite scary, but reminded me of the frighteners. Maybe the mood just wasn't there. Or maybe simply I'm more jaded now and didn't find such kiddy movies exciting anymore. One's life moves in stages. When I read Harry Potter, it reminded me of reading those books by Enid Blyton when I was young. Books such as 'The Naughtest Girl in the School' and others which I can't remember now. Harry Potter is simply a story about the adventures of boys and girls in a boarding school where their adventures include magic. It also adds in the age-old tired theme of good vs evil where at the end of the day good wins over evil. Boring. The stories just move from one adventure after another, like a rojak trying to put in all the things which gives cheap thrills together and so that it can sell to audiences. Perhaps I'm just not in the best mood for fantasy stories right now. Or I've read too many of such similiar types which are so much better that HP doesn't give me a kick anymore. Some say the third story is dark? Dark? Give me Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman books anytime. From Dragonlance to Seventh Gate to Darksword to the latest Sovereign Stone Trilogy ... now those are dark. Spine chilling dark. Damn, I'm still waiting for the third book of Sovereign Stone Trilogy .... huh? amazon is selling it already? How come I don't see it at Kino??? Waaah. ...

Okie, if you really want a dark and gloomy book, read George Orwell 1984. Now ... that is the most depressing book I've read! It really gave me chills down my spine. heh .. it really felt like the dementors sucking happiness out of me. :P There's just a complete feeling of hopelessness after reading it. It's really depressing. Not recommended to read if you are someone who gets affected easily. I read it about three of four years ago, quite possibly a mistake actually. I don't think I'll ever read it again.

Read George Orwell 1984 here.

Ohhh .... I'm so mad! I just cycled down to JTC to visit a friend and parked my bicycle at the railings by the side of the building and guess what? Those bloody idiots padlocked my bicycle. Singapore is so bloody freaking f***ed up. I hate the people in this country. Absolutely unfriendly - bicycle unfriendly too. It's not as if I was blocking anything. Damn them all.

And so hot today.

I missed bali.

See, that's the good thing about having lots of money. If one has a lot of money, one can damn the world to hell and do whatever one likes to do.


Wednesday, June 16, 2004



Rising Sign is in 12 Degrees Aquarius
You like new ideas and concepts, but you prefer to discover them by yourself -- it is not easy for others to convert you to anything. You form your own opinions, but once you do form them, you then want to convince everyone else that they are correct. Try to be more tolerant of the opinions of others. You have a deep and abiding interest in science, mathematics, and the great social problems of the day. Very sympathetic toward the downtrodden, equality is your battle cry! You demand that those in authority be fair to all. You are an intellectual -- emotions and emotional people are difficult for you to understand. You are known for being calm, cool, detached and objective.

Sun is in 22 Degrees Taurus.
You are known for being patient, slow moving and careful -- you love to prolong and savor enjoyable times. You appreciate and need comfort, ease and warm surroundings. Be careful of a tendency to become placid and self-satisfied and to overeat (especially sweets). You require strenuous situations in order to grow and mature properly, even though you try to avoid them. Affectionate, even-tempered and slow to anger -- when you do become emotionally upset, you are also slow to forgive and time must pass before your calm returns. You demand real results from any situation -- abstractions are very difficult for you to comprehend. Very artistic, your hands love to mold and shape things. You portray an earthy, physical sexiness that others find quite seductive.

Moon is in 06 Degrees Scorpio.
Your feelings are very intense, never superficial. You tend to be either very angry or very sad or completely and totally happy. Your moods are deep, extreme and not always completely understood by yourself or by those with whom you have to deal. Emotionally, you tend to prefer to live at the cutting edge of life, pushing your reactions to the ultimate extremes, even if the results are dangerous or upsetting. You are easily jealous and very suspicious -- you require a great deal of emotional reassurance. A good detective, you are very curious about deep and mysterious things, especially human nature and motivations. Be careful not to be ruthless, tactless or too overly frank or you will meet with much resistance from others.

Mercury is in 03 Degrees Gemini.
Your mind is active, quick and agile. You are very restless and you get bored easily. Unless you receive constant mental stimulation, you become extremely nervous and begin to act in an unstable manner. You are probably a good student because of your natural inquisitiveness. You also love to travel. Your learning tends to be superficial, though, because you have a relatively short attention span. Try to develop the mental discipline to finish what you start. Also, you tend to talk on at times seemingly just to fill space -- make sure that your conversation has some substance to it or others will start avoiding you.

Venus is in 12 Degrees Taurus.
You are known to be a warm and affectionate person, and you tend to form long- lasting attachments. The reverse of this is that you can also be quite possessive once you have made a commitment. The beauty, luxury and comfort of your surroundings are important to you and you will devote much time and energy to making your home just right. Beware of your tendency toward self-indulgence, especially with respect to eating incorrectly. You also need outside stimuli to get you in gear When things come too easily for you, you can be lazy and indolent.

Mars is in 27 Degrees Cancer.
Your moods are very important to your overall well-being. You are confident and self-assertive when you are feeling upbeat, and you are retiring, irritable and grumpy when you get depressed about anything. Very sensitive, you wear your heart on your sleeve. You are easily angered whenever you think someone has slighted you. It is best for you to show your anger immediately and let it all out, rather than to try to hold it in or to hold grudges for a long time. You're extremely loyal and defensive of your family, neighborhood, community and culture.

Jupiter is in 11 Degrees Taurus.
Growth only occurs for you after you have found a stable lifestyle and a dependable, protective and secure environment. You are at your best when those around you provide you with a great deal of affection and support. When you feel insecure or threatened, you tend to become possessive and grasping and self- indulgent. You are an inveterate collector with an expensive preference for all the good things that life has to offer.

Saturn is in 27 Degrees Cancer.
The most important issue for you is emotional security. You have a deep and gnawing fear that those on whom you depend for emotional support will prove to be unreliable in the long run. When you are unloved and insecure, you distrust others and tend to feel isolated and lonely. Very cool, detached and objective, you can be counted on -- in situations that are inherently stressful or full of tension -- not to lose your self- control. That is a great and welcome gift at such times.

Uranus is in 04 Degrees Scorpio.
You, and your peer group, demand to confront life at its deepest and most meaningful levels. Very compulsive and obsessive in your approach to everything, you will avoid anything that is casual or superficial, especially when it comes to relationships. You will seek out and explore new methods of healing as well as different ways to deal with deep-seated emotional problems.

Neptune is in 13 Degrees Sagittarius.
You, and your entire generation, are heavily involved in investigating and idealizing foreign and exotic intellectual systems and religious philosophies. The most extreme ideals will be pursued with gusto. You will be at the forefront of humanitarian attempts to improve the lot of those who are in need of assistance. You will be comfortable with the concept of the "global village."

Pluto is in 09 Degrees Libra.
For your entire generation, this is a time of radical changes in society's attitude toward marriage and interpersonal relationships. There is a general fear and awe at the power inherent in making emotional or contractual commitments -- they will not be entered into lightly.

N. Node is in 12 Degrees Scorpio.
You have a special aptitude for working by yourself, or with a like-minded group of dedicated individuals. Once you've committed yourself to a person or group or project, your loyalty and devotion are total until the group's goals have been realized. Not at all gregarious by nature, you're uncomfortable around strangers, greatly preferring to be in known and familiar situations. Others may regard you as shy or eccentric, but those who know you well are aware of the intense loyalty that you have to your friends.

Interesting, interesting. heh heh .. I definitely have a very short attention span. heh ... :)

The strange and somewhat funny stuffs Min sent me ....

Was looking at the urls she icqed me ... darn funny. Loved the penguin one. Remembered when I frist recieved it, was playing a long long time .. haha.
Click here to see penguin.

This one quite scary. Don't quite understand what it is exactly... scary music though ...
Click here

Something confusing? Click here.

Tuesday, June 15, 2004


I absolutely hate it when people asked me what it is that my husband does.

I mean if you are a close friend then it is okie to ask ... but if I consider you an acquaintance or simply a colleague then it's rather wierd to ask isn't it? This is a rather personal question, it's like asking how much is your pay or like ... I dunno ... such questions feels oki with friends, but not if I don't consider you one. humf.

For invariably they would say ... (in a false voice) oh, then you don't need to work anymore! You can stay at home and be a tai-tai ... like your husband is earning lots of money can support you ... blah blah blah. Or like today, then your husband should have a car right? blah blah blah.

I feel so ... insulted? Nah ... amused. snigger ... how small-minded can people get?

My husband is not earning a lot of money, and he is working horrible long hours. It is unfair if I do not help him or contribute anything. Loving someone means sharing the burden (if possible).

Maybe next time I should simply say, oh ... he digs shit out of people's asses ... or ... it's none of your bloody freaking business ... or hey look! A flying pig just flew by .... how? Damnit.

Of course I can quit my job right now and let him support me. If I want to, I would right? I don't need any suggestion from you, whatever your suggestions mean. But I don't want to. I may grumble and complain about my work. Work sucks sometimes .. doesn't it all happen to everyone some days? Somedays may be good, somedays may be bad. I like what I'm doing sometimes, sometimes I really wish I don't have to work. Don't we all? It's all part and parcel of life. I hate it when they hold all those useless and inefficient meetings and waste everyone's time and end up doing nothing at all. I could have spent my time much better. But doesn't that happen to everyone?

I hate it when people tell me, hey .. you can quit your job and let your husband support you. I absolutely hate it! I feel more independent being able to earn my own income. I can spend my money on the things I want to buy. I don't like to use my husband's money to buy things for myself. I hate it when people tell me .. oh, get your husband to buy you this and that etc. I don't understand why people can be so ... so ... what's that word for it? Urrgh. Perhaps it's just a normal reaction for people to say when I complain sometimes that I wish I could buy some expensive stuffs but I'm not buying because they're too expensive ... then their normal flippant reply would be .. oh, get your husband to buy for you lah! Ha .. I guess I asked for that. OKie, so cannot 'complain' huh ... nevermind, I shall complain in my blog then. This is my blog ... so bugger off. *growl*

I don't think I'm a career-minded woman. I'm happy to work hard for half a day, go back and clean the house, spend time for myself and take care of hubby. Nope, don't want any kids. I like to have some order in my life. Perhaps a bit monotonous, but it feels safe because I'll know what to expect. Excitment would come in the things I can learn for myself, the time I spent with hubby and the places we can look forward to go during holidays. See, if there's no monotony and boredom then there's no excitment and adventure. Just like if you've never experience depression, you would not appreciate happiness. Or like if you always eat shark's fin and abalone and expensive rich food everyday, then they no longer taste special. Life is all about living the everydays and experiencing the once in a while excitement. That's my philo.


May the next person who ask me what my husband does and follows up with ... hey, then you don't need to work anymore blah rot in hell.


WooHOoooo ... yahoo mail gave me 100MB of space! waaah ... :) :) heh heh heh ...

Gee, I hope they aren't doing the same thingy about the ad like the Gmail. hmmm ....


The worst ever most uncoolest wierd 'pick up(??)' line

Me and colleague chatting in a corner during tea-break.

Nerdy guy in pyjamas-stripped shirt and BROWN pants approached.

Guy: err, sorry, but I can't help wondering about your ring you are wearing on your left hand. What does it signify? Does it mean like you are engaged or something? Like wearing rings on right hand or left hand which one does it signify something ... mumble mumble ...

Voice trails off as we stared at him incredulously.

After a pause ...

colleague: I supposed it's up to each individual what they like to wear ...

me: yeah, like it really depends on people, sometimes it may not signify anything or sometimes it may? (What the blazers are you asking about? Are you asking ME?? Or in general?? Wierdo)

guy: Oh eh ... thanks ... *slinks off*

Me and colleague looked at each other and burst out laughing. Colleague said that was the wierdest question ever, if he wanted to know, he should asked someone he knew, unless that was a pick-up line, if so, it's the most stupid way of doing so. I totally agree. *LOL*


And now I'm on a roll ... quoting someone: When I'm on a roll, I'm on a roll ... *LOL*

I really really dislike the male species in my profession. They come across as two types.

Type One - nerdy unconfident wierdos who could only dare to deal with kids, probably secretly thinking of being paedophiles in their free time. Have problems getting along with their peers, whether men or women. Usually get bullied by the kids as well. No girlfriends, no life. Case: Him. Came to me to complain about my form class. Imagine whiny complainy high-pitched voice: Your kids ate sweets in my class and threw the wrappers at me!! *whine whine* Me: Scold them and make them behave and tell them to apologise! Him: But if I scold them, they'll say I very fierce and wait they cry how? (this is a real case! Serious!) Me: HUH?? Then what do you want me to do? Him: I just want to tell you *whine whine*. Female colleague overheard and said annoyingly: You have to be firm with them else they won't respect you. GO and scold them. Him: *whines all the way* ... in the end I had to speak to the kids involved and told them to apologise to said colleague. What a dodo!

Type Two - nerdy confident boot-lickers high-flyers-wannabe who also have no life spending all the time with kids and always planning for some stupid thingy last minute and doing everything last minute and totally unorganised. Probably also thinking of being a P in free time. Usually no gfs as well.

I can't stand such people. No intelligence, no personality ... irritating but sometimes rather amusing ... hahaha.

Okie to be fair, there are some nice ones who are really normal people. Rare. Oh well ...


Today Wen told me she bought 4 pairs of Tod shoes and sandals. FOUR?!?!?!! Hello! Didn't you like just bought 2 pairs of Prada shoes in Bali? FOUR?!?! There is a sale going on at Tod. Shoes about 40% discount. WOw ... are the shoes really that good? Maybe I should go and see them tomorrow. heh heh ...

She's crazy, no wonder Bis is ignoring her when she got him back. hahaha ... guess he's rather annoyed that he was being left behind while she went to enjoy herself and also he had a very fun playmate at her friend's place. Ahhh ... so Bis is showing his temper .. tsk tsk. heh heh.


I think I should save my money to buy stuffs for my new house. Like toys! Erm .. I mean kitchenware stuffs. Got my eye on pots and pans and plates and cutlery and wok (the cast iron one) and there are so many things to buy for the kitchen! heh heh. I love cooking! And I shall cook everyday (if possible)! For my hubby and myself. :) :) Simple dishes like steam fish, chicken, prawns etc etc ... easy ... must learn more difficult stuffs from parents soon ... darn, must get all their secret recipes and write them down one day!! :) :)

Monday, June 14, 2004

Ack! I've put on 1 kg!!! Waaah .... and I'm feeling very very bloated now. Damn, shouldn't have eaten so much today ... okie, gotta eat less and exercise more from now onwards. ack ack.


May barbarians invade your personal space!

Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant!

"May barbarians invade your personal space!"
You are highly confrontational and possibly in a bad mood. You would have sworn in this quiz, if I had made it an option.

Which Weird Latin Phrase Are You? brought to you by Quizilla



?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ?? brought to you by Quizilla

Should I go?

Singapore International Piano Festival 2004
plays Bach-Kempff, Chopin, Rachmaninov, Ligeti & Stravinsky

plays Beethoven, Alkan, Chopin & Liszt

plays Bach, Beethoven, Schumann & Bartok

plays Haydn, Beethoven, Mozart, Schubert & Martin

I wonder if Xel's back by then. Maybe she'll want to go ... hmm ... haven't been to a piano festival for a long long time.

Or perhaps this ...
Gil Shaham Plays Tchaikovsky (SSO Gala Concert)

Lan Shui conductor
Gil Shaham violin

ROSSINI Overture to Semiramide
CHEN GANG/HE ZHAOHAO Butterfly Lovers Concerto
TCHAIKOVSKY Violin Concerto in D major, Op. 35

Celebrated young American violin virtuoso Gil Shaham makes his Singapore debut with the Singapore Symphony Orchestra in two best-loved violin concertos. Shaham has been championing the Butterfly Lovers Concerto in the USA for some time and it is the perfect foil for the Romantic effusions of Tchaikovsky’s evergreen Violin Concerto in this East meets West encounter.
Lovers of the violin, don’t miss this treat!

Tickets are so damn expensive ... and seeing how long they have been on sale, the good seats are probably sold out. Oh wait ... SSO and Lan Shui?! Waah ... Maybe not a good idea to go after all. The last time I heard SSO, they suck. Really. heh.

I'd like to see Gill Shaham play though. :( Dunno why nowadays people are so 'cultured'. ha... I missed the last time me and friends went to KLCC to listen to Ashkenazy and London Phil. Now, that concert hall is so much nicer than the durians here, and tickets are much cheaper. And London Phil is good! Unlike SSO. bah.



You have a mysterious kiss. Your partner never knows what you're going to come up with next; this creates great excitement and arousal never knowing what to expect. And it's sure to end in a kiss as great as your mystery.

What kind of kiss are you? brought to you by Quizilla


You're not so much depressed as you're totally freaking insane. Kati would be friends with you because she's just like you. You could stay over her house and make pasta and biscuits at 4am. You're also astoundingly similar to Invader Zim's GIR. Viva la little robots wearing green dog suits! Let's make biscuits!

How Depressed are You? brought to you by Quizilla

Wow! Freaking strange quizes one finds on the net! *LOL*

The weather in Singapore is ridiculously hot! And HUMID! See, the difference between here and Bali is that in Bali, the humidity level is only about 50% so even if the sun is shining majestically in the sky, you don't sweat so much like a pig. Damn the weather! The best place to be in right now is in my room with the air-con full blast.

I woke up at 6am today and the whole sky is still dark. I woke up feeling damn hot and sweaty. This will never happen in Bali! By 6am, the sky is already light. Birds will be chirping away and you wake up feeling cool and refreshed! Even without the air-con. Then all you need to do is start yoga in the midst of the clean fresh air and afterwards jump straight into the swimming pool. That's life... *sigh*


And my room looks like a tornedo has just struck it. :( Ack. Maybe I should go back to sleep. :P

Sunday, June 13, 2004

Memories from Bali

In the midst of unpacking, but I shall write at the same time.

On the plane ...
Caught 50 First Dates on the flight to Bali. Wow! Drew Barrymore is really cute! She is my favourite actress. Ever since I first saw her in ET. :P Gosh, she's really good! When she laughs, I laughed too; when she cries, I cried too. Okie, that's a bit exaggerating. But she's good. I've always like her :) and no I am not a lesbian. :P The movie is very good too. So humourous, so quirky. That's what true love is all about. Waking up every morning and falling in love with the guy you chose to spend your entire life with. Beautiful movie! The two ladies sitting next to me kept glancing at me when I kept chuckling out loud during the funny bits.

Plane landed with a bump. The two ladies shrieked and clutched each other fearfully. Hello! Isn't it like normal for planes to land with a bump? Err ... apparently not, that's what Wen told me later. Ohh ... but I was always surprised when planes landed smoothly. heh heh.

Retrograde happenings ...
My friend Wen told me that she had to 'deposit' her dog Biscult at her friend's place for the trip. The friend also had a greyhound, so Biscult was happy to have someone to play with. When Wen left the place, Bis was shocked to see her go off without him. He stood at the gate with puzzled look. Is this a new game? Errr ... hello, aren't you forgetting something important? Hey, you're joking aren't you? *whines whines*... Later that day, the friend called her telling her that when her husband came home and gate was opened, Bis ran out sniffing around looking for her. They had a hard time chasing him after that. Poor Biscuit.

It was hard for me to leave my hubby behind as well ... but well, girl's only holiday. :P And no, we are not. heh heh.

At Alila Manggis ...

looming statues. dusty roads. quirky intricate alleyways. padi fields. deep blue sea. strong white waves. black pebbled beach. clear blue skies. beautiful cotton clouds. coconut groves. Jabba the huts. cool swimming pool. fresh colourful flowers. twinkling diamond stars. flying bats skirting my vision. lovely, peace, beauty.

crashing waves never stopping, never tiring. beautiful wooden sound made by the traditonal instruments. chants by the village priest. chitter-chatter by the people. tinkling sound when the waves ran out from the pebbles. buzz of the bees. wind swinging the coconut trees. singing birds in the morning. serene, joy, unlimited.

In the morning, the hotel head chef with an egg shaped head (Australian, name Struat I think, and he's a damn excellent chef .. I must remember!) brought us to the market. Local market, with all the interesting spices and rich scent of live animals. The kind of market which existed in Singapore 30 years back. Full of life, sounds of people bargaining, sounds of chickens and ducks and pigs and humans. Smell of spices mixed with cowdung and sweat. Sweet pungent smells of flowers and vegetables. Full of colour and vibrancy. Then we went to the organic garden. Smell the fresh clean air, see the wonderful scenery and learn a few tibbits about gardening.

On the way there, we stopped to see the head priest of the village performing a ceremony for the naming of a child. Very religious and traditional people. Besides cows, cats are also highly revered. If you ever run over a cat, better pick it up and give it a decent ceremonial burial, else you're be on the next flight out of the country! But if you ran over a poor sod, you most likely can get away with it. Poor sod! You have to pay 50 million rupiahs if you want to join the government's police. That takes about 10 years for them to earn back. Not very surprising if they are corrupt huh. But Bali is a safe place. Each village has their own protective force call the gangral (not very sure about the spelling though). Life is cheap. If you commit a crime, their law is death. Government rice (GM) for the people, without nutrients, cheap but not so cheap. Bali rice only for export. Rich in nutrients, smells and taste good.

In the afternoon, we had the cooking class and we cooked our own lunch! Delicious nasi goreng, indonesian fried rice. Basically normal chinese fried rice with belachan. yum yum. And lots of other stuffs too like chicken, fish, pork, dessert. The dessert with the black and red rice pudding rocks! The dessert with the homemade ice-cream is so mouth-watering delicious .. drool! I must go back again!!! The food is fantastic! Must make sure the head chef is still there though. :)

Every meal there is wonderful. Delicious. Mouth-watering. I must have put on at least an inch! Doing yoga in the morning didn't help when immediately we fill ourselves with the morning breakfast. Ahh, bliss, sunshine, joy, happiness. I must go back again! :)

At Alila Ubud ...

Up in the mountains so high ... err, maybe not so high. With the river running in the valley, the sound of rushing water fills my ears. Crickets cricking in the night, stars so bright and beautiful. Damn I've forgotten most of my astro, but hey, I can still recognise Scopio and Sagitatius and was that the summer triangle? Sadly quite forgotten. The infinity pool. Looking down into the valley. So beautiful. Words can't describe it. You must be there. :) I must return soon.

Damn, why does one's mosquito bite itches when one thinks of it? *scratches hard*

We had an open concept bathroom. Lovely blue and grey stone flooring in the outdoor bath. Lots of teak wood. Lots of trees and flying things. Cold breeze at night, nice warm sun. cloudless day, oh blue blue sky. The food isn't as good as manggis but it'll pass. I will go back for the scenery and peace up in the mountains. The swimming pool is ... ohhh ... beautiful. I swam. I wish my hubby was with me. I'm afraid of the deep pool at the end where the water seems to fall off at the edge of the world. But I try. Only by the side. Where I can cling on the edge when I had a panic attack looking into the deep dark pool. Hey, it's 2.3 m deep at the end okie. Scary! Seeing the floor tapering away deep down. But the view at the end of the world is worth a million swims there. heh. I must bring my hubby there one day! :)

Shopping ... at the town centre. Lots of shops. Art gallery, batik shop, ceremic shop, wood carving etc etc etc. Prada! Waah ... spent 3 hours walking around looking for the shop we glimpsed at when we were driven to the art gallery. Wen got 1 artwork, many batik stuffs like cushion covers etc, 2 pairs of Prada shoes and 1 Prada bag. Wah. Me - got a few nice ceremic stuffs for my new house ... and perhaps I sould have gotten the Prada shoes after all. $90 for a full leather very very slightly defective Prada shoes ... sniff sniff. Ack.

Spa ... the ultimate indulgence. It comes with the package. A floral footbath. Wow, someone to wash and scrub my feet .. with table salt? I feel like a fish my mother cleans with salt. A bali coffee scrub... mmmm .. I smell .. delicious, like coffee. heh heh. A lavender body bath. Err .. quite nice to have someone sponging me. But cold. Carrot rub down. I knew it! Carrots are always good for lots of things! I love carrots! A soak in the tub with lots of red flowers. Huh .. only one tub for the two of us? Really! Err, Wen, it looks like there's only one tub. She went to look. Oh yeah. HAHAHA. I think we are meant to soak together! This package is really for honeymooners. HAHAHA. Wrong person to go with. Right ... we are both as blind as bats with glasses off. I supposed guys would compare their member, but girls? Do we compare the size of our boobs and tits and butts? *LOL* Don't splash me okie. We felt like geishas. heh heh. And finally the balinese massage. One word: Shoik. :) And no, we aren't. :P

Must go back again! Must swim in the fantastic pool again! Must eat the food at Manggis again! Must go back and shop!! All the woody stuffs! Waah ... Must go! Don't wanna come back ...