Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Happy times

Listening to Mischa Maisky on the cello, CD titled Apres un reve on my iTunes, because the rest of the music are not organised yet.

Beautiful lovely music that is. :)

Eating huge sri lankan crabs. I like my crabs steamed, lightly steamed and served hot, not those cold crabs. It doesn't seem to be a spore thing, this steamed crabs, people usually have them either black peppered or chillied, but I just loved it steamed. Hubby's friends had never eaten steamed crabs before! Goodness. They thought it was nice too. heh.

Maybe it's a Malaysian thing.

Makes me mouth water thinking of going back there to eat all those seafood.

*slurp*

Nothing beats listening to lovely music and winning somewhat at chess, although looking at the way I'm playing currently, winning games are becoming rather dubious.

I hate it when I have to think too deeply. :P

Banzai!

There will be no lessons tomorrow!

All say after me. Banzai!!

There is no work on Thursday!

All say after me. Banzai!!!

heh heh heh.

Good God, I do sound so depraved. :P

But I am in a good mood today, because of what one student said to me, that he found my lessons so much more fun, and that the other one was so boring.

heh heh ... or should it be ... snk snk snk. :P

And there are always some of them who would want to stay back and hear me impart 'wisdom of pearls', though at my age, what wisdom can I impart? I love answering their questions though, if they do ask intelligent ones, and sometimes it's always nice to talk to them about the science and nature around us.

I had promised to teach them to grow crystals, and it warms my heart to see them so enthusiastic, but I'm procastinating it, because I had been unhappy with the ugly ones. What am I to do? For the kids' sake, I would do it ... wouldn't you? *sigh*

And it only takes a handful of them to truely appreciate you to make you sometimes forget about the miserable days. Oh well, we all do know that life is not a bed of roses. Even dear hubby has that, so all the more important that one shows appreciation to one's love ones, because sometimes it is just that smile or hug that truely makes everything worthwhile.

:)

Ponder of the day: how good is bird's nest anyway?

Bullying.

All of a sudden, there was a strange whooshing sound. Did I just overboiled my soup?

I could still see the sparkling lone star, there wasn't much clouds ... but it was raining.

Strange.

Here are my winning games ... but one shouldn't gloat too much, especially if the game's not ended yet.

Oh well ... I was stressed. heh heh. :P





Look ma ... One WHOLE rook up!! In both games! hahaha. Teach me how not to gloat. :P

It's too early, you say? :P

And two more games with one WHOLE knight up!!

*bleah*

Funny memories imprinted

Sometimes these just come into the mind ...

how hubby's friend ran to the water feature after his swim because he thought it was a cool wading pool to soak the feet.

the look on dear hubby's wickedly grinning face as we ran the car over the 'goal-post' slippers on the road of boy who was dismally staring at our car.

the priceless look on dearest hubby's face when he opened the door after he looked through the peep-hole with me eyes right over it staring straight back through the hole.

:)

Hungry thoughts

When you are quite hungry and you are simply waiting for some more time to pass before you start preparing for dinner, and staring at cookbooks doesn't help to satisfy the hunger, sometimes it's good to not to think so much but blog about it instead. :P

Gee, I have been doing yoga for like five(?) plus years. Wow. Somehow I still never really seem to be very good at it.

Such as arms are still too weak to support myself completely in handstands.

Or like my hamstrings are still too tight to do forward bends completely.

What have I acheived, if at all?

The peace and serenity in the doing of it all. That feels enough for me, though I really do need to work harder on those damn hamstrings and arm strength! :P

I remember a long long time ago, Xel asked me to join her for tap dancing ... or was it ballet? I promised her I would, after I get some flexibility from yoga. I really wanted to sign up to do ballet ... just to be a little more graceful, rather than being a yellow duckling. It had been five/six years ago, and here I am, not doing any of those dancing yet. Perhaps deep within, I'm just not too keen at all.

Instead, I picked up the violin. :P heh heh ...

Which is now sitting in one of those numerous cupboards collect mould and losing its tune. Perhaps I should look for it later, and ... ahem, play a little tonight?

There are just so many things to do, and time passes by too fast. The dreams one once had disappear in the spiral of time. Lost and forgotten, twirling away far far back into the pot of desires. I do wish ... but wistfully, no longer urgent or really wanting. It fades away quietly.

Blatantly showing off

You know, sometimes a gal got to do what a gal got to do.

Especially after an awful day at work, where you feel worse than a cockroach, trodden and slighted upon, and you just feel so crappy afterwards, you just wanna sit in a corner and cry and feel sorry for yourself.

Then these are the little things that kinda cheer you up.

:P


Here's the game where I'm still trying to fry the liver. Do you think it's going to work? :)

Life's like that

The things I missed:

1. practising handstands, doing all kind of twists and the backbends. It's getting harder to do shoulderstands and headstands as well.
2. blading, ice-skating, cycling, jogging and swimming.
3. shopping
4. sashimi

:(

Lunch today was a packet of chocolate pockey, some cherry tomatoes, and now nibbling on a bar of Lindt wafer. There's no point trying to cook something for myself right now, as dinner will soon be ready in a couple of hours time.

Let's see, dinner tonight:
Chicken with dried chilli
Variations on a theme of mushroom
Egg?
Soup?

I'm quite sick of Chinese style cooking. But I'm too lazy to get all the special sauces and what have yous for those western style cooking. Oh well ...

Monday, August 29, 2005

Present state of mind.

I had been sleeping soundly a while ago when I was rudely woken by a phone call by Wen from Hong Kong. She has been delightfully shopping left, right and centre, because things are slightly cheaper there. Oh no ... I won't be tempted, not at all ... well, just a teensie weensie tempted :P for I've asked her to check out some stuffs there for me. heh heh.

Really really tempted lah. :P

But okie, the difference isn't really very big, but I feel so deprived of shopping.

*mutter*

And suddenly I found that I couldn't get back into my state of sleeping.

Wish I were there shopping too.

:P

*****
The best thing is life is when suddenly dearest hubby told parents to hold the lift because he forgot something, and ran back to give me the very much needed hug.

:)

:) :)

Friday, August 26, 2005

Gloomy Friday

I guess there are days when one feels down in the dumps. Today feels like one of them. Very much so. When you feel sorry for yourself and envy others of what they have.

*sigh*

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

One little thing at a time

After another particularly bad day today, where I didn't even have time to go to the toilet or have lunch ... *sob*, plus some bad news ....

it's really quite overwhelming to come home and find that
a) there are dirty dishes waiting to be washed in the sink.
b) I have to clear hubby's lunch away (throw away plastic bag)
c) clothes are stewn on the floor.
d) house is dirty.
e) I have to prepare dinner soon.

But you know, sometimes you just have to take things in stride. One little thing at a time. Just one little thing at a time.

1. Wash the dishes. That takes 5 minutes.
2. Take out the chicken which was half defrosted and thaw it completely.
3. Throw away dirty plastic bag of hubby's lunch. :P heh.
4. Get a quick cold bath to really cool down.
5. Pick up all the clothes and sort them out to soak later.
6. Start preparing dinner.

And before you know it, things are looking up! Yay. And of course dear hubby does indeed feel a little guilty and helped me out somewhat when he came back. :P

heh.

And so another busy day coming to an end, and I get to sit down and read a little and to write a little.

And it feels good to get things done, to forget about unhappiness at work.

I was thinking of writing about what made me upset, but decided that it's not worth writing about it, or ranting about it. Because there is nothing I can do, it's just that way, and there's no point asking why or trying to change things.

Perhaps if you are truely interested, I might tell you about it one day. Then again, it wouldn't matter anymore ... would it?

I shall now declear a break and play chess. It can be destressing sometimes especially when you're winning on easy games. heh heh.

Monday, August 22, 2005

Little things over the weekend

One of the most telling reason why I went with Wen to the market again is really for the breakfast.

heh. I kinda like the breakfast there! And it really doesn't do much to give Wen a lift. Though sometimes I really feel like lazing a bit longer in bed. :P

And besides, most of the time, Wen is good company. Sometimes one has to take some effort to keep friendships close. Otherwise, it is so easy to drift apart.

Besides there are always delicious mangoes to buy. :P

Hmmm, what should I ask her to get for me from Hong Kong? ;P ;P

*****
They fixed the floor pretty all right now. I guess we shan't ask for the moon but accept their work. I insisted that they mopped up the place after that. That saves hubby the mopping, so dear hubby was of course happy to supervise then. heh.

Now for the walls. Just the really more obvious cracks.

At least I feel at peace when I get home.

And that means back to ironing. bleah

*****
We spent some time exploring our neighbourhood. These are the moments in life that are more precious than gold or silver. A slow romantic walk under the bright round yellow moon, gawking at the zoological exhibits and theme parks below us. To see the rhinos and sleeping lions and leaf-eating giraffes. To giggle and point at exhibit no. 5431 and grimace at the monkeys running around and climbing the trees. All because the windows were supposed to be misted, but somehow they didn't really work that way.

heh.

*****
We left all the street directories at home, and got hopelessly lost. At least I still had some sense of direction, somewhat .... and managed to impress hubby now and then with the correct direction. heh. It was a nice feeling to get lost together and it was definitely fun wandering about looking at the scenery. Nothing to be panicky about especially your loved one is with you.

We saw sand dunes and greenish yellow lalang fields. We saw strange UFO-shaped buildings and plain empty roads. There was a river runneth through, but it didn't look like it would stink, so where was all that smell coming from?

Still, this place is too small to truely get lost. All roads lead to home, and just follow the road with most cars on it.

:)

Little things that cheer me up

It was really really an awful day. Them kids are so terrible. I guess the best is just to ignore them and pray that the lesson ends quickly and that they will spontanously combust.

I really hate them.

And I really wish that one day they will run across the road and get knock down by a car. Those few of them. If I pray really hard, will my wish come true?

Why do they bother to come to school?

Why do adults bother to have children when they cannot take good care of them and teach them proper values?

Those few ought to be smothered in their beds when they were babies. What a pain in the neck.

I swore I will not get angry. I shall not get angry. Why do I bother to get angry? After all it is their own problem if they don't want to study, but they just have to make so much noise and can't shut up.

What shall I do next time? Just ignore them and don't bother continuing with the lesson. No one can hear me anyway.

Why do I bother preparing so many things for them anyway? What a waste of my time.

I wish I could do something to really teach them a lesson that they will regret their existence.

Brainless horrible worms.

*****
But these are the little things that cheer me up.

1. Step out of the building.
2. Clean up the kitchen and put away my new tupperware. :)
3. A big hug from dear hubby.
4. A nice dinner which was duly appreciated.

Hubby had a bad Monday too. But at least he didn't have to be annoyed by irritating pesky screaming noisy kids.

Thank god not all the classes are like that. There are still some things to look forward to.

:(

sniff sniff

*****
You know the place isn't a good place when they place the new teachers in the worst classes.

In my previous school, it wasn't done that way. Experienced teachers who truely understood those kids were given those classes and they knew how to deal with them. And there were a lot of support given. Special needs and special attention and special programmes.

Here, no one wants to teach those classes so the new people get them. What the heck. And people are just not friendly. They backstab you when they could, telling tales behind your back. I really dislike the environment. I really dislike the people there.

After more than half a year of teaching the NT class, I realised that the contents are really not suitable for them. Some of them can't even read properly, and most of them just aren't interested. The stuffs are just simply too theoretical for them. They shouldn't be staying in the class each lesson and made to study. Oh yes, they are streamed, but afterwhich, they are forgotten. Up there doesn't seem to understand their situation.

I cannot bring myself to their level. I cannot understand their horrible little world. I am not of their stupid low standard. I have not gone through their hardships. Their world is a totally different world from mine.

I do not know what resources there are to help them. The stuffs I prepare and have are for more intelligent kids who have a keen interest to learn. There is nothing I can fall back on to give them. There is no support from the place I work and from the people there. I do not know who to ask or where to find things. No one wants to bother about them. And neither do I.

Three more months to go.

Three more freaking months to go.

Little things to look forward to

After a really really bad day at work, these are really some of the little things I'm looking forward to:

1. Getting a much needed hug from hubby later.
2. Celebrate birthday with mom tomorrow.
3. Having dim sum with Min soon.

Must not shout must not shout must not shout must not shout must not shout

Tummy really hurts. :(

sniff sniff

Friday, August 19, 2005

Not motivated

Was thinking of going out after dinner to get a new swim suit. Dear hubby doubled up laughing when I said swim pants. Such a nice weather to get a swim. Such a nice weather to stay in and vegetate. Such a nice weather to do nothing at all. Which is what I would do.

Dinner tonight was potato soup (again) with pumpkin. Tasted a bit strange, but it was pretty all right after adding lots of pepper. :P Together with stir-fry soft bean curd with minced pork and prawns, and prawn-egg omelette. Pretty edible. Yesterday was fried ikan bilis, bittergourd with eggs and ginger pork. I think I should cook more vege.

How boring.

There's nothing much to do tonight. House is still messy so don't feel like doing anything at all.

How boring.

In the meantime, playing chess. Thinking how to fry the liver properly. heh. Opponent's queen didn't get trapped in the end, but I've managed the semi-royal fork. King and rook. heh heh heh.

It's fun when you're winning.

Easily too. :)

Yahoo game bricks of egypt is very nice to play. Unfortunately free one hour has expired. Anyone got the free version of the game? :P

Perhaps I shall go out tomorrow night instead. Need some motivator. Wonder who's free for dinner. *sigh*

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Irritating brother

You know how irritating it is when your brother took your favourite chess book away without telling you and you need to refer it urgently later.

Gaa.

*****
Xena's server is down again, I guess. I think she needs to shoot her host, or at least get money back or else.

:P

*****
They're coming to redo the floor again tomorrow. This time the 'so-called' floor man will do both sanding and varnishing. Now we wonder, why didn't he do it in the first place rather than let the Indian workers do it? Isn't it more troublesome in the end? I guess the pinched-faced smoker of the sub-con has nothing to say. Ha.

We've reached the zen state now. We're just complain until they do it right. *shrug*

And it's getting there now. The floor is at least ... well, pretty good. Just need a little smoother will do! :)

*****
I forgot how to play the Marshall attack. I could remember it as a strong attack but I just can't remember how exactly it goes. Isn't it so irritating, plus the book not with me? :(

Wished I've paid more attention when I was learning that move last time.

One board fell for the fried liver attack. heh heh.

Another two boards by the same opponent but of different colours seemed to have his queen trapped. In similiar ways. heh heh.

From India the fried one. heh heh ... really! no no I'm not at all, you know. :P Just coincidence ya.

*****
My ear is still blocked. Extremely uncooperative today. And it feels kinda blocked but not really blocked right now. Good money down the drain. Cheh ... must complain to friend next time. Ask me go and see him end up nothing could be done ... and still have to pay.

Gaa.

Gaa. gaa. gaa... *bleah*

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Repetitive strain injury

My fingers hurt. My hand hurt. My arm hurt. Ouch. I'm addicted to yahoo games. :P

That was yesterday. Couldn't blog about it after that. naturally.

There were new yahoo games, and I downloaded them and played each of them until the one hour trial period expired. So sad. I want more!

Good that I can't play too much then. heh.

*****
Feeling damn tired. No mood to do anything. What should I be doing?

1. Clear up the mess around the house a bit.
2. Wash the dishes in the sink.
3. Boil some hot water for tomorrow.
4. Finish some markings which I've brought home and back and never touch at all.
5. Make my move in chessworld.

What do I feel like doing?

Be a slug and slug around.

*****
Baby plays drums quite often nowadays. :)

There. I've finally mentioned it in my blog. heh heh. :)

Makes me tired. It's kinda nice I guess.

We were laughing ourselves silly trying out names for baby. :P We were quite bad, I'm sure baby could hear. There was one we liked, until a few weeks back, when I realised dear hubby's best friend's dog was also called that. Whoops. Perhaps we should shoot the dog. hmm.

Anyway, we have finally thought of one, but it's a secret. shhh.

*****
My friend offered to give me two days of MC for yesterday and today. Soooooo tempting. Sooo soooo tempting. Damn him for tempting me. But I can't, not for today, or I'll never be able to prepare lessons properly for the week. Ack. Just feel so tired nowadays. And there're so many things happening in the afternoon. Where can I find my rest? *SIGH*

Why do I feel like a damn guinea pig when he stuck the tube down my nose?

It was the first time ever I could breathe easily through both nostrils. It felt so strange, that I had difficulty breathing! Believe it or not! Ended up kinda breathing through mouth instead. So duh.

But my ear still gets blocked. Nothing doing to it. Oh well.

*****
Sometimes me wish that dearest hubby doesn't have to work till so late at night.

Other times it's good to go and tidy up the place when he's not around.

To work, lazy butt!

*****
A thought just came into my head.

What does it mean to love someone?

Loving him doesn't only mean accepting him as he is. It's not just about love, it's respecting the kind of person he is, and to be proud of him and everything he does. It's a lot, and sometimes it's hard to put into words. Not to put him up on a pedestal definitely, but to think of him dearly and to need him too. :)

I love my one and only one.

And sometimes in our busy schedules in our busy daily lives, perhaps we might take each other for granted, or forget about the little things that are more important than ourselves.

And something dearest hubby said to me today, and I just felt so very proud of him. *beamz*

And I want to remember it here. Everyday may seem mundane sometimes, but I'm glad he shares with me the things he does, that he thinks it's worth telling me about, and it brightens up my day just listening to him. :)

*warm fuzzy feeling*

:)

And you know what? The second best thing in life is to receive a call from him or an sms when he's not around with you.

:) :)

Of course the first best thing is to have him with you all the time. heh heh heh. *bleah*

*****
Latest news on yahoo. Another plane crash. Why are there so many plane crashes these few days? :(

Monday, August 15, 2005

Sleepy thoughts

It's nice to have the whole house to yourself. Peaceful and quiet. Sometimes it's nice to have parents around, or families, but the whole idea of living on your own is to be on your own. I can understand how it felt like to be staying with another family. It is really rotten. Poor thing.

My parents want to come over today to help me clean my place. Unfortunately we're getting them to redo the floor again. Yup that's right. Not passed yet. So house is still in a mess, and if my parents want to come over, who am I stopping?

It's nice that mom volunteers to cook for me, but somehow I feel like being alone at home today.

Women are so strange creatures sometimes. :P

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Bored to the ears

Saturday afternoon.

A nice hot lazy shimmering afternoon.

Nothing much to do, don't feel like doing much. The streets are quiet, the birds are snoozing and the cat just wanna lie on the bed.

I don't feel like cleaning up the house, when it is still in a mess. My toes are prettily painted, so I don't need to spend another hour on them. The clothes are stewn all over the floor, but the toilet is filled up with boxes, and there's an excuse not to wash the clothes, or to vacumn the floor either. heh heh. Perhaps I should do more unpacking, but I'm not in the mood at all, certainly not on a hot dull Saturday.

Thinking of what to cook for dinner. Mom bought a pumpkin over. All the recipes with pumpkin seems too difficult to do. What am I supposed to do with it?

Dinner for tonight:
potato soup with mixed vege
broccoli with soy-lemon dressing(?)
chicken with pumpkin

It'll be nice to go for a really lazy swim. But I just don't feel like going out or going shopping.

Just wanna be a slug at home. Sluging hard to be a slimy slug. :P

Friday, August 12, 2005

Gleeful strikeback

Okie, nothing really happy about, really. Just that I felt that I've scored one with that pinch-faced irritating smoker of a sub contractor. So much for his bullshit. Oh yeesssh, he tried to bully his way to have the indian worker do the varnishing of the floor, but I was having none of that! Learnt from the experience of the neighbours who had to have the floor done twice after the indian worker did the first round. Oh no ... no no no. None of that at all. He could not overtalked me, as I persisted and stood firm. And reminded him all the past mistakes he had made which led to the re-doing of the floor this time.

Like, hadn't I insisted that they remove every piece of wood right in the beginning instead of patching a few here and there.

Like, hadn't we insisted that they were not to use glue but only wood putty.

Oh nooo ... indian worker is just as good as his workers. And he will be supervising.

Ya right. Get a non-specialist and it's no go. At least his workers are 'so-called' experts in the wood thingy.

And if they can't do it right, then you expect the plebian to get it right?

And if they can't get it right, then they just have to do again.

And again.

And again.

And hear from my lawyers.

Gaaa.

I could have swore right into his face, except it's really not ladylike, and in front of my dad.

I went down and looked for the main con, and she was on my side. Perhaps she had a conscience after all, for all these would not have happened if she had agreed to our requests right from the beginning.

Or perhaps it was the lawyer's letter after that.

Or all the neighbours' complains.

I dunno. Or maybe she felt sorry for us.

Seems that she gave that pinch-faced arsehold a talking to.

haha.

Yeeehar!

heh :P

*****
Ate too much last night and felt tummy extremely bloated.

Help!

Couldn't breathe!

Must really NOT eat too much.

Even though parents food are the most wonderful and the most delicious things ever. :)

And my parents are the most wonderful people ever.

Who else would come over and help me supervise all those work? Who else would help me mop the floor after that? Who else would cook a wonderful dinner later?

Although I was just a little annoyed with my father as he did not really 'supervise' those indian workers and they left the doors open and dust flew all into the house. I guess it only takes a woman to be that meticulous and detailed and fussy and bitchy when it comes to getting work done perfectly.

:P

Hopefully, all's well that ends well.

Time to prepare dinner.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Just another day

Xena seems to be gone. Her blog is not available anymore. I wonder if she's no longer writing or if her blog is temporary down. I hope she still continues to write, for her writings are one of the better ones, inspiring and entertaining at times.

:)

*****
Hubby seems to have done something to the computer. Nowadays a lot of things also cannot access. duh.

Hmm hmm hmm ...

*****
It was such a hot hot hot day today. My nice massage in the morning was negated after all the shopping after that. What a dodo I am. Next time shop first then get a massage. Did my nails too. Boring boring day.

I am a boring boring person. I quite like routine most of the time. It is steady, and sometimes just for the fun of it, if something unexpected happen, all the more interesting it is. Life is mainly boring and mundane. But it's nice to be living a life with someone one loves and cares about.

My feet aches. :P

I digress. It's still too hot to do think of anything earthshaking to write. It had been pretty boring these few days. Not boring ... just uninteresting. Mundane. Routine. Found I couldn't quite fit into my swimsuit anymore. Ack.

:P

So hot.

Must remember to finish the fruits in the fridge. Wen asked me if I've finished the whatthatcalled? the .. err ... fruit. haha. which we bought at the market at that time. Oh, we've finished the mangoes, the last one was almost rotting ... but not the other fruit. Whoops. I forgot all about it, must cut tonight. Still got a pear which have been in the fridge for ages ... and the kiwi ... and oranges and apples. Oh dear ... *slapes forehead*. I do hope they are still edible.

So here's to just another day, just another boring entry, wonder why I bother to write anyway, such a hot day ... tralalala.

duh.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Mood = grouchy

Extremely.

Because they came and mess up my house again.

And will do it again and again and again.

Because I'm the only one doing all the unpacking.

Because I've climbed up and down fifty times today carrying all those heavy books.

Because I have to wipe each dusty volume with a wet cloth myself.

Because I have to climb up and down the high stool to put the books on the top shelf.

Because the rest of the shelves aren't up yet.

Because guys do not see dirt at all, and cannot do hard labour.

Because I'm sick of nagging.

Because I want to buy my pretty ear-rings.

Because I hate the people at work.

Because it seems that no one can clean as clean as I, and the only person who surpasses me as my mom.

Because I'm becoming a cleanliness freak.

Because my ear kept going on block.

And finally because I'm just sick and tired.

So there.

Grrrrrrr.

*****
So shopping was fun over the weekend. I used Min's gift to get myself a very pretty set of Japanese tea-cups. Unfortunately teapot not included, so I have to get a nice one myself sometime.

Perhaps the rest who haven't bought me anything yet might want to consider. :P Min: Go hint to them!! I'd like an English tea-set as well. Gee. I do like tea-sets a lot! :P

I've also got myself a big tanya(? too lazy to check spelling) pot to do double boiling. And a small one for the inner pot. I think it is too small, I'll know when I next cook the black herbal chicken.

Also got my nice expensive frying pan. heh heh. Not expensive after using all those vouchers. Must exchange for more vouchers!! There are still a few things I'm eyeing. Oh greedy!

Over the weekend, I've experimented with cooking herbal black chicken. It was a tight squeeze in the ginseng pot I got at somewhere (you know where it was supposed to be the 'cheapest' but I found Tangs selling same thing more cheaply!!) So duh, I got hubby to return the pot and get a refund, because I was so absolutely pissed. And we only managed one cup of soup after the tight squeeze. I'm afraid the new pot is even smaller. Gotta go Chinatown sometime!!

*haiz*

Me and my perfectionistic view of having things. :P

The herbs were bought in a packet. I think next time I'd rather buy my own herbs myself and do the concortion on my own. Probably will taste nicer too. Yesh, I am THAT fussy! :P

So we shopped till my feet hurt. It was so exciting to buy things, but somehow when we got home, it seems that there weren't many things that we bought. I could have sworn that the amount of bags we were carrying seems like we'd bought the whole department store! And the amount of money and vouchers spent! Shessh.

What a slight letdown it was when unpacking the shopping stuffs. Not enough kick. *bleah*

*****
We were talking about how to eat ice-cream in a stick. Apparently Wen and hubby doesn't like the haggan daz ice-cream sticks as fanatically as I do. I think they eat too slow till the ice-cream melted, that's why they drip chocolate. tsk tsk tsk. It was a hot day today, especially after all that hard work, and I treated myself to one ice-cream stick. And I found that hey, I only take less than FIVE minutes to finish the ice-cream. See, that's the trick to eat such ice-cream.

:P

Cold in your mouth till brain do freezes.

*****
Listening to Brahms Cello Sonata. Gloomy and dark, just the way I like, just the way I felt while doing all those work.

Thighs are damn achy after yoga yesterday. I do certainly feel out of shape! More swimming needed! So hot a weather!

Guests are coming for lunch tomorrow! Oh what shall I cook? Here's the plan:
Bai Cai soup
Chicken stir fry or till I take a peek at those new cookbooks I've got!
Egg (always a safe choice!)
Prawns (the style I love ... and a little bit of lemon this time)

I sure hope those workers finish their work by ten so that I can clean up and get ready. They'd better, the dragon is sprouting fire nowadays. I went down and blasted them today for doing so slow.

Question: How many Indian workers does it take to patch a wall?
Answer: 4
One to hold the ladder, one to climb the ladder to actually patch the wall, one to hold the pail of putty, and one to walk around and leave dirty footprints on the floor.

Bloody freaking hell.

I was hoping that they would have finished before I come home from work.

Bloody freaking hell.

And it only take one Chinese worker to do the same work the last time.

My father told me they spent twenty minutes or so laying the newspapers and covering up the furniture, and disappeared for their looonnng tea break.

An hour later, they returned to hack the wall.

And soon after disappeared for a two hour lunch break.

I'm not really racist or anything but I'm absolutely pissed off, and when you tell them off, they just roll their heads and protested god-knows-what.

Bloody freaking hell.

And I insisted that they sweep and vacumn and mop the floor before they left. Well, I did the vaumning and my father did the mopping in the end.

Good rididence. And they are going to dirty my place again tomorrow.

Please give me strength.

And if still quite dear hubby is not going to clean up his mess, I'm going to start throwing things away.

So there.

*****
Okie, so I still need:

1. One microwave oven.
God knows where I am going to put it in my tiny kitchen, but it's really useful to have one to reheat food.

2. One slow cooker.
Mom says can make herbal chicken in slow cooker. Time to get more vouchers!

3. One heavy cleaver.
I saw the one I like on sale at Isetan yesterday but I ran out of vouchers. Next round of shopping then!

4. More tupperware!
But I haven't decide which types yet. Must finish using the rest first. Mainly about ten percent left untouched actually, so can buy some more. I'd hate to buy them and end up storing them in boxes or under the sink like some other people!

5. ... there's more, but I'll put it down when they come to my mind. :P

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Quiet thoughts

On bitterness: If you were going to give me a D anyway why should I be working so hard for you?

On unhappiness: Everyone is so unfriendly. There is so much tell-taleings. They have a knife by their side to stab and hurt.

On unfairness: Why did you assume that would have been done by me just because?

People who are insecure about themselves will seek to hurt others just to feel superior.

Definitely time to think about alternative resources. Definitely time to move on.

I'm not very upset, kinda immune to it all. Bochup really, because it's important to concentrate on doing what it is that you enjoy.

But sometimes it does get me down, and makes me feel demoralised. And especially so lonely.

And you end up buying something like this. :P



And have your eyes on that.



They're all silver, small and sweet. I can't afford the white gold ones, although white gold is certainly more me! :P Will maybe buy the ear rings next month!

:)

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

A little penguin this way come

Today we had a speaker. Dr William Tan. Now that is what I call inspiration, courage, humour, humility all in one. A most interesting talk ever for assembly. The kids were well behaved, for once ... and they too enjoyed the talk.

You don't ever feel sorry for people like him. You can only admire. I had never listened to such a speaker before, certainly no one like him was ever invited to previous school. I'm really impressed and glad that we have that for our kids here. It makes assembly talks all so much more interesting and meaningful.

If only I had known he would be so long-winded, I would have taken my lunch first. Darn. Still ... funnily enough, no bad thoughts about it. heh heh, except my stomach growled.

How different things are. Some better, some worse. Oh well.

There had been some thoughts swirling in my head but they floated away before I had captured them down. Sometimes I wish I am more proficient in writing but what do I know? *sigh*

In the end, it's hard to be able to express what exactly I felt and thought at that time. The mood is different too.

*****
Virtues. Perhaps that is what is lacking nowadays. Hardwork, humility, simplicity, courage. To work hard to achieve your personal dreams. In spite of adversity. To have the courage to go when no one believed. To have faith, and to put in one's mind and heart into it.

It's easy for me to sit here and think about it. And all I ever felt is half-heartedness. Even anger to rant dissipated after a night's sleep, because it would just be a rant and not something I would have felt strongly to fight for a change for it. You just feel tired, and tell yourself nevermind. To quit and not able to find the will or the energy to complete the passion or anger you had at that point. It becomes mundane. And you lose interest, and energy ... and the effort to make things work. A downward spiral.

Perhaps it all depends on what priorities are in your hand, and simply to make those things which you treasure and important worthwhile. Would that be enough? Would that be all that matters?

*****
It's getting easier to throw nasty sarcastic remarks nowadays. You just can't help yourself, and trust me, one day perhaps I will swear as well. As it is, the words form in my head, taunting me to spit and scream at them, full of malice and evil intent. To burn them all alive at the stake, and to dig out their eyes and wipe their stupid smirk off their faces. It's so simple to go into abuse. A loud satisfying sound of a slap against their oh so chubby cheeks. To tame the monsters they have become, of rudeness and defiance and rebelness. To become a monster yourself and bask in the glory of subduing them.

I need a break. Oh when are the hols?

Sanity comes back when the day ends and you are let out of your cage.

I wonder what happened to them. Why did things all turn out like this? You look at their faces, stuborness set in the eyes, defiant and restless. Anger and unhappiness they faced. You can't talk sense to them, nor plead with them. You look into their empty stupid faces, and you just wonder what goes on in their heads. How different, oh how so very different.

I'm so tired.

And there is the fear that if you do not do it properly, they would also be like that.

Why do people all grow up so differently?

One who struggles so despite being inconvenienced, who lived life to the fullness, humble and human and happy. Others who seemingly have it all, yet lived in immaturity and anger. And yet others who end up destroying and killing who believed in ideals so strangely different that they are willing to sacrifice, no destroy themselves in the process of destruction.

The world is so complicated when you start to learn to watch. How nice it was not to know anything.

*****
I went back to yoga and downgraded myself to the beginner's class. But after talking to my teacher, I am feeling more confident to go back to her general class. heh. Will have to try to complete housework by Saturday! Motivation!! Inspiration!!! Do not clean house on Sunday. That's basically it actually. hahaha.

Darn, she was so kind to her students for beginner's class. Every other pose do already also can rest. Wah lao eh.