Sunday, January 08, 2006

Questions without answers

Where do I find someone who can help me with postnatal care? I think it's easier said than done. Who can I ask? The closest would be PM, but I don't want to keep bothering her. I don't know what I would do without my neighbours. They have been very helpful so far, but there are still so many questions. *sigh*

Feeding baby is not the end. Feeding him is easy, now that I've cleared all blockage. And I can even feed him with both of us half-asleep. The problem is after feeding, one has to spend time to burp him, and hold him up (so that he doesn't spit up) and carry him around because if he doesn't feel sleepy after feed, he'll want to be carried. And all these take time and are tiring things to do, if one is simply tired after feeding.

And when did baby swap nights with days? He was sleeping soundly at night and happily awake in the day when suddenly for the last few days, he sleeps soundly in the day and is extremely wide-awake at night. Don't get me wrong, he doesn't cry, but he wants to be entertained. Like he would be super bright-eyed and looking all over the place, and he wants a change of scenery from time to time. Soooo .. you just can't leave him in a place to stare at the walls, he wants to be carried from one place, and when he's tired of that place, to another.

Talk about a super troublesome baby. Hmm, now I wonder if I were to put him facing a window ... :)

How much milk should baby be having? He's almost four weeks old, and when I bottlefeed him, he's drinking 80ml of milk. Sometimes 80ml isn't even enough, the greedy little bugger. Now I wonder, is 80ml too much for his little tummy? He goes through 80ml like no one's business. He doesn't even want to be burped halfway! Boy, his tummy is so round and bloated, and he would spit up if he's not help upright after that.

That's the problem with breastfeeding. You simply don't know how much milk you're giving.

Would it be better to get a baby carrier or a sling? He's getting heavy, and Mom is going home soon. How am I going to handle baby, housework, cooking and everything? When one is faced with overwhelming tasks, one's mind tends to shut down. I need to have something to help me carry him when I do work around the house soon.

Is it good for baby to have a pacifier? I'm quite against it actually, and he doesn't cry very often, except when he's hungry and food is not forthcoming fast enough for the greedy little bugger.

What kind of pram/stroller should one get? There are so many types in the markets, and prices range from cheap to really ridiculously expensive. I would like to get one which is light, easy to manuveour, can sit upright and lie down, not too expensive, and can hold him till he's two.

I need to get nursing clothes. I need to go shopping soon. Arrgh. *sigh* :(

My mother has been a great help to me. Cooking, washing, and some cleaning. It's so nice not to have to worry about cooking and there's someone to wash and clean after that. And there's someone to help keep an eye on baby from time to time and help feed baby when you're tired. But otherwise, she doesn't know anything, and she's never someone who is able to give much advice. Arrgh.

It's fortunate that my parents have been coming over to cook for me from time to time. So they know the kitchen pretty well. Can you imagine what it would be like if in the first week when I come back from hospital and I need to run around seeing to things for them? Actually I did, but there weren't too many fortunately. That's why I was sooo stressed and upset.

And it's fortunate that I've the cleaning lady in for a while now and she knows what to do unsupervise. Though now I'm wondering if she's doing things properly, for things aren't too clean and she's doing them super fast. Gotta supervise her today.

MIL came and cooked for us the other day. It was a nice gesture, but my kitchen was pretty messed up and she didn't quite know where things are kept. But dearest hubby anticipated that and was truely a great help that day. Otherwise I would have lose my cool. Hmm, just a thought, I realised that MIL tends to cook her food sweet, and that hubby does like his food sweet. I don't think I can ever take to that.

Did I mention that I'm a paranoid perfectionist when it comes to certain things?


Now all I wish is that people would be able to do things without me having to tell them all the time. Like for example, you left the newspapers on the table. Please put it away. Offer to do things instead of having to be told to do them. Look around you, if the table is messy, tidy it, don't wait for me to get a stroke. Do I have to be around for things to happen?

Yep, I'm becoming a cleanliness freak too. It's to do with being confined at home all day.

Things that really get my goat.
Why is it that when I talk in the house, nobody can really hear me? Okay, so I know my mom is deaf in one ear. But it's so tiring having to shout. My normal voice is quite soft. Even hubby can't hear me, especially when he's thinking about something else. :(

And one last irritating one. I really hate it when two people talk to me at the same time. Sometimes hubby would be talking to me, then mom would just started talking to me at the same time, or vice versa. Can't they see I'm in the middle of a conversation already? Sometimes I swear that they're simply clueless. And I really really hate it when I have to be the 'middle' man. Why can't mom be direct? Why can't hubby be direct?

That's why I wanted a house far far away from everyone. But it has its consequences. Life is just ever so tough.

And I really really really hate it having to tell people what to do. And I really really really hate it having to be the one making decisions all the time.

Discussion: I think this means-testing thingy is not fair at all. What do you think?

Will write my thoughts about it later.

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