Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Dealing with Life

Second week. Things are slightly better now. I guess the main reason is because there is not so much physical pain now. It makes so much a difference when you are in pain and when you are not. You just can't do anything when the stitches hurt so much, or when the nipples hurt, and your whole world is filled with pain with each breath you take.

No wonder there is a shift towards the importance of pain management.

I'm getting used to many things now. Feeding baby at night isn't really so much of a problem. One just needs to conquer that 5 minutes between the sleeping and waking transition. Once fully awake, I can function pretty humanly, otherwise I just want to go back to sleep and will feel extremely grumpy. Dear baby, thank god, doesn't really fuss too much. And he's pretty regular in his feeding times too.

I'm getting massages for my neck and shoulders and it really makes a difference. Even with neck rolls during feedings, stretching and all that, just a simple hand-healing touch makes life brighter. I miss yoga. Perhaps I shall do a little on my own first. Not sure if I'll have the time to go out for yoga classes.

Traditions and cultures. The Chinese believe that it's not good to bathe during the confinement month, and all those food with lots of ginger and sesame seed oil. I'm bathing everyday. heh. Perhaps I shall get rheumatism when I'm old, then all those wise old women would say serve you right. Mom doesn't mind/bother with what I'm doing. At the end of the one week, she told me, okie you can go and bathe today. Then she paused, and exclaimed, what am I saying! Confinement month not supposed to bathe! And I told her calmly, Hello ... I've been bathing everyday since I got back. :P

The Malays would wrap up their women in Jamu oil, and massage the uterus back into shape. I'm doing that too. Not sure if it really helps. I just needed the massage to relax. heh. But they encourage bathing. They don't take all those ginger and stuffs, but they have their own herbs and stories. She told me the Japanese don't even do any confinement! And I think neither do caucasions right?

So every culture has their own beliefs. And we are all the same human beings. So what do you believe in? Perhaps that's the most important.

I believe that the not bathing part from the Chinese comes from way back in China, when the women after childbirth dies from pneunomia related illness when they fall sick after childbirth especially when they bathe and catch the death of a cold. Remember that it can be very cold there, especially the poor farmers, and they can be very poor too. Things are definitely different here and today.

Perhaps the only thing one has to deal with is the stress and depression of life's everchanging capricious moments. What would happen one month down? What would happen three months down? Where are we going and what are we doing? Will we be able to cope? Or do we simply avoid the issues and pretend that things are not going to change? And the uncertainty and unhappiness slowly gather underneath the surface, bottled up and no way to escape. And the music would stop.

Baby is sleeping very soundly now. There are two modes of baby after his feeding. One is that he takes his milk, we burp and cuddle him, change his diapers and he nods off to dreamland. The other mode that he takes his milk, we burp and cuddle him, change his diapers and he becomes super wide awake and bright-eyed, and refuses to be put to sleep. I think for that mom is really good with him. She would carry him around and eventually he'll doze off. Now, the second mode is good when it happens in the day. Not at night. But baby knows no time. And he's in that mode from 11pm to 3am. And that is when I'm the most tired. Since I'm a morning person, not a night person. :P

What am I going to do? *head bangs wall*

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