Thursday, March 24, 2005

Overwhelming week

It had been a long week.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow. When we go blading. I was so very surprised that you had agreed. So easily too, when I smsed you. heh. I guess that was because usually a negative reply would have resulted. I'm sure PM would try to convince you to blade, instead of cycle, but even if you do, I'm sure you could pull us along. *grins*

And so I was rather upset when I was told the contractors would be coming in in the morning. Sod them all. I'm not going to be around. I need my break. I'm looking forward to fresh air and exercise. Doing yoga once a week is just not enough. I want to fly down slopes and feel the wind in my hair. I want to throw away the worries and unhappiness and do something relaxing.

I'm just tired of the whole house. The floor is done, but not great. There are rough portions and it just didn't feel that nice. *sigh* I guess that we have to accept it, just that I feel vindictive. *sigh* The letter would still have to be sent, just that bloody M is taking a long time to do so. *sigh* And it's bloody not cheap.

It's easy to make enemies. The apology was at the tip of my tongue, but my head screeched 'stop!' and I held back the words. After all, you had scolded me before I knew what the hell had happened. It was just a misunderstanding, I didn't understand why you get so upset about it. It was so unprofessional, and so disagreeable. I know you were upset, and I knew it wouldn't take much for me to say it, but it wasn't done on purpose and I felt that you were simply over-reacting. Sod you all.

Shopping therapy is good.

Sod the whole bloody world.

As I walked down the moon-lit path in the middle of the huge open field, my thoughts flew back to the time, another night where the moon shined so brightly down onto the grassy plains. It was one of the camping trips I had when I was still in the uni. Where we went star-gazing in Malaysia - in the wild, cold night. The tent flap was open, and I was so amazed that the silver moon light could be so bright. There was a magical feel about it all, the green grass looked rather pale and washed out in the silvery sheen, it was a night where dimensions are close and mysterious little creatures are afoot. Just don't step on those huge cow-dung. That beautiful picture outside the tent flap remains craved in the back of my eyes, just a little in front of my brain. I missed that feeling, I missed star-gazing, I missed those astro field trips. But I doubt I can do such rough camping again.

Then again, that night was too bright to see much stars. It is still the first trip that held the wonder.


It's easy to get addicted to animes. And books. The Light Fantastic IS funny. And I'm only half-way through.

Sod Work. I refused to let you make me feel bad or down. Sod everyone there.

Must start learning violin again.
Must do more yoga.
Mustn't let my whole life be controlled by work.

Must live by my principle. What exactly is my principle?


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