Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Two cents

... about what I read here.
I think grief is very personal. I would also like to know how to help someone coping with grief, or rather what to do or what not to do. Sometimes the best of intentions may lead to the worst of disasters, or some advice you think is good may be viewed as flippant and unwelcomed. Each individual has their different needs. Perhaps the healthcare workers do what they do because they 'generalise' everyone to a case and do not go in depth enough. I mean, you have to know the person really well to truely understand, and to obtain their trust. Even then ... can you really understand the pain? There are people who are able to channel their grief out elsewhere and become all the more stronger, yet there are others who wallow in it and sink even deeper. How would you know which is which?
In a way, I feel that grief and depression are much alike, yet quite different. I'm always rather afraid to have to deal with people who have such strong sadness and grief. Whatever I may say sounds clumsy and awkward. But to see someone completely wrapped up in his/her grief and sadness is also heart-wrenching and one feels the need to say or do something, yet how will it help? 

A person who feels deeply is actually very much alive. To be able to feel from one end of the spectrum to ther other. Passion, as opposed to indifference. To have the memories so precious and beautiful yet sometimes sad and touching. Me - I only remember the happy things most of the times. :) Sometimes I wonder if I do envy them for such deep feelings and such beautiful memories. To have a memory - is it better than to exist? Is it better to exist as a beautiful memory? Or is it not? Will one appreciate it better if it has become a memory? Is it always like that where people do not truely appreciate what they have in their hands till it's gone? It's definitely a reminder to treasure what we have right now, and to live life to its fullest. Everyday counts. It will become a memory one day.

Sometimes I wonder. I'm not sure if I can feel so deeply. I feel rather numb to everything nowadays. Just happy, just living, sans complications. 

Perhaps there should be a balance some where.

1 comment:

Tammy said...

Lysithea, I appreciate your comments here. You should know, though, that this is not a case of only appreciating these things when they're gone. I appreciated her very much when she was alive and I told her often, just as I do with others in my life whom I love very much. I know not everyone does that.

It is better to feel each and every moment - the good, the bad, the best, and the worst - in my opinion, than to not feel at all.

I enjoy your journal, by the way. :)