Wednesday, July 28, 2004


I wash my hands. I will not get angry or upset. It is none of my business. He is an alcoholic and a bloody immature and stupid idiot. And I do blame them somewhat for all that coddling and emotional abuse and lack of principles. And him too for being thoughtless and being ... him. Doesn't he have any basic common sense? Shessh. At the end of the day, he has himself to be blamed. No matter how dysfunctional the family is, we got the same treatment as you, the rest of us all grew up okie. Everyone gets stressed but that isn't an excuse. You have to learn to cope no matter what. Only the fittest survive in this world. The weak will die. If you are depressed and you are willing to seek help, it is not too late. But if you refused to admit that and refused to help yourself and continue to dig the hole, then you will slowly be asphyxiated. I just hope the quicksand don't drag them in as well.

I am angry actually. And I don't know what to think. It's depressing to think about. I guess I never have much patience for people who do not help themselves. They can go and rot for all I care. The faster they are removed from the world, the better it is huh.

I need a hug. :X
To self: Do not think of it anymore. Very soon you will be out of this and it doesn't matter. DOES NOT MATTER.
Ignorance is definitely better. I should not have asked. Curiousity kills the cat. See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. Shut up, don't think, don't know, don't wanna care. don't wanna care.
Where is my soothing J.B music?

* * *
I think she was crying. You always made her worry and cry for you. That stupid a*sehole moronic idiot. Don't you ever ever know better? Can't you for once think of someone else like her instead of always you? Bloody f*cking idiot. Grow up!

I laugh rather sarcastically. I can bet with you that after a few days he will be the same. Remember that time he had some bad pain (liver?) due to all the drinking and we all tried to help him. I even helped rub his back and gave him some advice ... the pain went away and the drinks came back, in force. The problem as I see it is you. You keep giving him excuses; you keep taking the responsibility away from him; you keep encouraging him subconsciously. And it will never work. Do you want him to be like the other one? All the stories you tell me I listened and I observed. This is just the tip of the ice-berg. Do something else it's going to get worse. Perhaps you can reach him if you know how. Perhaps it's easier said then done. One never really knows what to do huh? What can I do? How can I help?
Getting angry doesn't help. I thought she would help him, but instead it got worse. Instead of thinking for him, helping him to grow and improve, she's another immature selfish self-centered airhead thoughtless money-digger. Like attract like I guess.
I can do nothing about it except rant here. It is bloody none of my business. I need to get out of here.
Maybe I should try to be an airhead as well. :)

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