Thursday, July 08, 2004

Some little thoughts

Back to the topic about dead people. It's not so spooky right now to write about it since there seemed to be more people around tonight, and my door is opened. ;)

Sometimes I believe that when our loved ones (or family - ancestors) pass away, they'll still be with us somewhere, and perhaps even be watching over us. I remember when I was a kid, sometimes we would stay over at my grandmother's place. The place was rather big, with two floors. At night, the small altar will be lit by red lights. It was rather eerie, but somehow I wasn't really frightened, even with all the ghost stories they said about the place. I remembered being along once in the house, at night - everyone was out ... and I was busy and feeling all right, until I started thinking too much and my hair stood on ends. heh. Okie ... what really makes me believe sometimes is what my mom tells me. I can't remember what exactly she said about my maternal grandfather - it had been a long time, I think she mentioned that when he left, sometime around the week, she had a dream ... of him coming back to take a look and made sure we were all all right. Even for my paternal grandfather, my mom didn't really had a dream, but she did win the lottery, and she believed that it was him who helped her, since my paternal grandfather always had a fondness of her ever since he sampled her cooking ... heh ... and she was the only one who won. A little but good enough.

I'm not sure if I can even start to understand the pain a person goes through when he/she loses a loved one. The closest I'd ever come across, was a young man in his thirties ... a friend, not very close ... but young and full of life and dreams. One day he simply collapsed at work, was sent to the hospital and pronounced brain dead. He was strong and healty and full of energy and he left behind a young wife and two small kids. It was very painful to watch when I went to the ICU. It was very shocking and sad. And I didn't know what to say or do because there is nothing I can say or do. One can only watched helplessly and it seemed totally surreal. I can still remember that day when my friend called me at work and told me the news. I can still remember how my heart missed a bit and it felt suddenly so cold. I can still remember how I took time off and rushed down to the hospital. And how we stood by the side with his friends and colleagues. And we just couldn't do anything or say anything. How terrible it must be for the wife and kids to lose a loved one, yet life must go on. The living must simply be strong and perhaps believed that even if they are gone, they'll always be close by.

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