Sunday, March 01, 2009

If I have my way ...

To me, there are a few things which are very important for a young child.

Routine. Self-discipline. And good habits. These are three things which I can think of right now.

A set routine is very important. Bedtime. By 9pm, all lights out, and it is time to sleep. I read somewhere that 14 days make a habit. A bedtime story before sleeping. In the morning, all to wake around 7 to 8am. I'm quite flexible. Routine. Breakfast, shower and brushing of teeth. To teach the child to tidy up his own bed if possible (got maid though). Hmm, will do the bed thing as next target. I'm starting to teach my son to make his own breakfast. Because I make my own breakfast, the maid's version is always not very consistent.

Routine. Lunch. After lunch, nap. This has been quite a failure for the past week. I'm not sure why the son doesn't want to sleep anymore in the afternoon. Actually I know why. Because I'm not available to read him a book and lull him to sleep. And that is because the daugther is now demanding quite a lot of attention from me as well. She cries when the maid carries her nowadays. The son cannot sleep when I do not give him my full attention.

If I have my way.

Self-discipline. Not too many toys. Playtime with toys is to be restricted to at most one hour (or two?). There is a time to play, a time to read, a time to learn, a time to write.

My son has too many distractions. Too many types of toys. Too many Lego. And my time with him is limited. His sister is becoming just as demanding. And he simply has too many toys.

So I'm quietly keeping some of his toys away, and slowly, hopefully, I can restrict his playtime.

If I have my way.

There is a time to play Lego. There should be time to do other things like go for a walk. Like get some fresh air, like go for a swim. Like go and learn to bike. Like go and jump and run in the fields. It's unhealthy to spend all days indoors playing Lego.

I cannot do all these with him, because I have to carry his sister as well.

There should be a time for him to do some drawing. Do some colouring. Practice recgonising his name. Learn some letters and words. Read. Listen to music. Practise his violin.

I cannot do all these with him, because there are simply too many toys.

Sometimes I feel so helpless. And that is why I cannot be a SAHM. Because I cannot teach my child self-discipline.

Good habits.

Not to be late. I cannot teach my child good habits too.

Good habits.

Meals is to be taken at the table. Another failure.

Good habits.

To eat by himself. Unless I can bear to see him play with his food and eat very little.

I can think of a lot more. But I cannot teach my child all these.

Sometimes I do not have the time or patience or energy to sit with him to do certain things. There are a lot of things which are easier said than done. And sometimes I need my own time to do my own things. So I cannot be all self-sacrificing, so that's another reason why I need a safety line back to work.

Because the guilt is less when you have an excuse.

If I have my way.

He shouldn't be sleeping at midnight and watching my brother play his violent computer games.

What are the grandparents thinking of?

And that is one big reason why I am not working right now. If I have my way.

Although my dear father loves to criticise me the way I handle my kids, and I cannot return the favour.

The pot calling the kettle black.

And I try to change. It's difficult to change. I know my faults. And that is why I keep my mouth shut when he does the same thing I do (although he will criticise me for it).

My mother will make sure my kids have good meals. And that's about it. She cares a lot about them, but my parents do not understand Routine, Self-discipline and Good habits. I want my kids to have these, but I'm not sure if I can do it.

Do parents actually think of all these when they bring up their kids?

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