Monday, November 21, 2005

Fragmented thoughts. More stories.

I don't like talking to you. Inefficient. Insincere. Please come to the point.

One can't help but compare.

I've been spoilt by encouraging remarks. Almost friends, positive, professional. And throw in a sense of humour.

Demoralising is the apathy that causes the downfall of happiness. Hmm ... whatever.

During the war, on one occasion, like a black and white photograph, there was a scene which stuck forever in the minds of the survival.

Grandma hugging her oldest baby close to her heart, hand over his mouth, sleeping soundly, thank god. And crammed right up against the wall, the smooth cold concrete against her spine. Crouched right under the big bed. The sheets trailing onto the floor.

Loud footsteps could be heard stomping up the stairs. Curt voices ordering in a strange pipping language. It was the next room first, then they came over. Do not breathe, do not cry, do not wake. The sound of the boots stopped in front of the bed.

The bayonet swept right in front of her nose.

The heart stopped. The world spun. The footsteps left.

There were simply too many houses. Or perhaps they too didn't want to know.

Now I understand how it felt like. I did all those stuffs. Painstakingly. My eyes were tearing. My neck was aching.

You liked it. You seemed rather impressed maybe. You wanted it perhaps. It might be useful, all nicely done, you know.

But I don't feel appreciated. I don't feel that anything would have been changed. It was being iterated once too often.

We shall wait for the last straw to break the camel's back. :P

Was it wrong for the poor young vegetable seller to sell his vegetables to the army?

In the band of brothers, the town people punished their own for 'sleeping' with the enemy. After they took back their town, those who dealt with the Germans in one way or another during the occupation were soundly humilated, punished and isolated.

Was it fair to do that? After all, they were human. They need to survive. Can anyone fault them? Who is to judge after all? Or did they do horrible crimes against their own during that time? Or simply trying to survive? Nope, we didn't know enough, did we?

Grandma secretly changed the Banana currency for British notes. In a way, her instinct told her that this occupation wouldn't last. She was uneducated and illiterate, but she had a hope, and she squirreled the money away.

When the day came, people come out in full to celebrate. And they burned. And burned. All the Banana notes. Freedom.

And Grandma had her tin of British currency to start a new life.

Women are always smarter than men. heh.

Assimilated. Somewhat my current favourite word to use.

Do you realise that people always have a favourite word to use and they use it for a while until they got sick of it? Okie, maybe change the word people to PM. :P I'm not so sure about others, but PM's use of words repeatedly can be quite catching (and entertaining).

She used to like the word despicable, especially over the chessboard, and it got really really thrown about, till everyone was using it. But no one got her inflexion right. You must have that oohhm to carry it off. :)

Cheapo was thrown around too much as well, and was deemed too common for her to utter.

Over the years, I cannot remember all the words she would use for a period of time. The words come and go, but they always sounded funny when she said them. heh heh.

And here's the most recent one which is currently popping in my head waiting to be told. :P

Me: How have you been?
She: It's very compliCAted.

Me: I just want to remind you about my housewarming. Will you be able to come?
She: It's very compliCAted.

Me: Err, okie. Are you working on that day? I told you before to keep that day free. You would be coming right?
She: It's very compliCAted.

Me: What's happening? Why is it very complicated.
She: It's very compliCAted. I'll tell you when I see you.

Me: Err, are you sure you'll be all right?
She: It's very compliCAted.

Me: Err, so have you had your lunch?
She: It's very compliCAted.

Me: Err, so you'll let me know if you're coming?
She: It's very compliCAted.


I'm serious. The conversation went something like that. :P :P Till now, I haven't heard what the compliCAtion was really about. She did mentioned something, I understood a little, but all that stuck were the words: it's very compliCAted.

I'll let her settle for a while more.

I remembered what I wanted to get downstairs. I went down earlier and ended up wandering around forgotting what I wanted. It was actually a piece of paper, which I wrote something down. I used to write interesting quotes and witty phrases and funny stuffs down last time, and leave them slips of papers around.

Here it is, I guess it's some anonymous thing - I didn't write the author down. Whoops.

Negative numbers are the evil that spawned complex algebra. Cursed be thy name! Square root of -1!

Cool eh?


The one thing I actually gain from all this blogging thingy is that I am really improving my spelling and vocab! hahahaha. There were so many words I somewhat knew, but I didn't know the exact spelling. *bleah* So now I know, and have learnt. :)

And I still prefer to read those who write for themselves, and not for an audience. There is a slight difference, there is more depth, and more meaning in the words, and there is ... perhaps, a feeling of empathy you can sort of have towards the writer. Silent, unspoken, faceless and stranger.

And perhaps the way some of them wrote have changed. For strangers no longer and mindful of who is reading.


Please do not change. Please do not mind.

Three more games to go.

Two with a much weaker player and I have no worries for that. Taking a damn long time though.

One with a much higher rated chap, but I just realised that I'm one whole piece plus one pawn up. Woohoo! heh heh. Who's afraid now?


Anytime now. Perhaps I shouldn't be out so much. But it's so boring to be enclosed. And baby has decided that he doesn't want to be small and scrawny. It's definitely a logarithmic curve on weight-gaining! Shessh. I might just catch up with any normal person.

Should go swim. Should go yoga. Should not eat so much unhealthy fat stuffs like full cream milk and ice-cream with chocolate fudge. :P

I ran out of milo this morning. Two teaspoon isn't enough! Good grief. So what can a desperate gal like me do? Ohhh yeah, add chocolate fudge. hahaha.

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