Musings

Can words ever wear out?

I read somewhere a long time ago that when kids are small, they get lots of positive encouragement from their parents and loved ones. The first step they took is accompanied by ooohs .. aahhh .. look! he walks! Smiles, hugs, cheers and lots of love glowed from the proud parents. Babies' googoogaga are met with exclaimations of joy and the first moment the baby says mama or papa is even captured on film! Err, not me of course, but I believed I had my fair share from my parents. Though not as much as my brother. *humf* As one grew older, such encouraging praises became less. Parents became extremely critical. Why did you not get 100 for this test? Why only 90? Keep quiet! Don't make so much noise. You're fat. You're ugly. You stupid bloody #&(@&* etc etc. And kids grow up to become just as critical and it became a vicious cycle.

So why not be encouraging? Why not tell your loved ones everyday that you love them? Do the words become meaningless and insincere if such positive reinforcements are said many times? If one feels that they do, then they become so. But perhaps if they are said many times the words do not fade away, instead the feelings for one another becomes stronger. Besides I don't ever want to regret not saying the things I want to say until it is too late. I don't believe words get worn out. It's just like reading. A book. I'll read it again if it's a good book and if I liked it. It's just like writing this blog, my diary. I'll read what I've written now and then to remind myself of my being. These are my memories, my feelings of the days of yesterdays. It helps to make me a better person, to remind myself of the little things that happen in my life. I am self-centered. heh. And it also helps me to improve me English! :)

When I first started teaching, I found it very difficult to give praises and encouragements. Are we always scolding? Are we always so critical? Do we hide the good things from friends and only say things to hurt them or not say anything so that we will seem better than them? Words of praises and encouragements, little things like admiration, how often do we keep them to ourselves, for fear that if we do say them, we would be ridiculed, or accused of flattery, or be brushed off like bread crumbs? How often do we accept compliments with a graceful thank you and a smile and still remain humble? I'm not sure if I do feel good telling people good things about themselves. It doesn't take much to be honest. Sometimes I'm really amazed and impressed by the creativity of my kids. heh heh. Other times, I got carried away and shouted at them at the top of my voice. Lesson learnt: Throwing tantrums may work. But only once. Do not repeat. But seriously, if something is good. Say so. Look for the nice things around you and coax them out with words. heh heh heh, now I sound like I'm fishing for compliments. *grins*

It's amazing how much I have learnt from my kids. I can still remember my first class I taught. And the trials we went through together. They weren't the most 'guai' students around but they were nice and forgiving. Strange, the younger ones are always much nicer than the older ones. Somewhere along the line as they grew up they become different from what they should have been. Must be all the stress and pollution they get. hmm.