Losing the Momentum ...

Didn't feel like playing chess much. The game where I killed so many brain cells over is really hopeless. It's beyond help, can't trick the opponent at all. Did an unsound sacrifice which was totally seen through. Damn. So not very enthusiastic about chess right now. I must confess that I don't think very deeply when I play chess, only when I get into 'trouble'. *bleah*

Hmm ... nothing much to write about. Life is definitely on the boring side right now. Hubby is very busy with work, and we have so little free time together. Did not manage to try out the new blades yet, but finally caught The Incredibles. Loved it! heh. Hubby said much nicer than Sky Captain and blah, though I wonder why he thought that was cartoon as well. heh :) Thinking and writing about hubby always makes me smile. :D

Being Independent

I'll never be independent if I stay with my parents. Why would I want to do something when there's someone to do it for me? Would I ever learn to do things on my own? Would I ever try to survive and learn how to overcome obstacles and be overwhelm with domestic problems? I won't be able to experience all these, whether they're good or bad, if I live with parents. It's just not me to be independent because I'm just too lazy for my own good.

That's why, in a way ... I'm looking forward to living with hubby, just the two of us. Things may be difficult, but I want to learn to cope. I take it as a challenge, just like a chess game. It's gets exciting when it becomes challenging. :P Then I know what it is I can actually do, and what it is that I cannot do.

On Monday, my parents were away and I decided to cook for myself and hubby. Due to a miscalculation in my time, I ended up with about an hour to get everything ready. There's always a first time in anything right? I dumped the frozen chicken into the microwave oven to defrost. Not sure if people do things that way, but there's a defrost button there. Usually mom would dump the frozen chicken into a basin of water and let it defrost for an hour or so. Wah. By trial and error, I think it took a total of about 2 minutes + 2 minutes + 2 minutes to defrost. *scratch head* How the hell would I know how much time is needed? Then I decided to DEBONE the chicken. This is probably the third time I'm ever doing this, and it's not really easy when the chicken is not really that soft yet. And I'm only working on the thighs. Wah. There were times when I simply felt like throwing the knife down and tear off the meat with my teeth and nails. But I controlled my carnivorous instinct. So after a few more cuts on my fingers, I finally managed to get most meat off the bones. *whew*

Cooking is always easy. It is the preparation that takes up most of the time. And I really hated the smell of raw garlic on my fingers. It's a good thing that mom cleaned the meat before putting them into deep freeze. I can imagine the amount of work required if one were to go to the market, get the stuffs, cleaned them, cooked etc. Would I ever be able to do it?

But at the end of the day, when I finally got everything done, and drove down to hubby with a hot dinner ... the feeling is wonderously good. :) And I managed to throw in a car-wash too. Car was sparkling clean. It just felt wonderfully good. :)

Older brother cooked beef steak the next day and set the kitchen on fire. :P

Chess and the Art of Winning Losing

I had a scare earlier. My keyboard conked out on me and I thought it was spoilt. Good thing there's hubby. Just a few words from him and it's all right now. :) Okie, so it had to do with the batteries, but I didn't know to reset it after that. High5 for my dear. :)

Xena's blog is finally up! Yay. Oki, so I'm a rabid fan of her blog. She writes very well and very funny. She went horse-ridding and flew with turtles! Wow. I'm so envious. Nice photos! Looks really fun! Okie, quite ... nothing beats being with hubby actually. heh heh. *bleah* Well, about horse-riding, it's really quite hard to kick the horse to tell it which way to turn. Their skin are really thick! When I rode a horse last year, I was afraid that kicking it too hard will cause it to blot. What we did was to pull the reins - a tug on the right to turn right, on the left to turn left and both to stop. And kicking it is supposed to make it go faster only it made them annoyed. Didn't you do it this way, Xena?

Anyway, here is another boring post on chess. It feels so shitty when one makes blunder after blunder. Remember the game I wrote that I gave a free bishop? Here's the position right now:

It's a bit hard to go back a few moves. One has to PAY to become a full member to access the more priviliged stuffs. But there was something earlier which I did not see till I made another move. No, that is not correct. I had considered that particular move, but I did not analyse it in depth and simply brushed it off, only until I made another move and realised that the move which I had brushed off can actually win back a piece and probably equalise the game. Bloody freaking idiot me. I'm now busy kicking myself for not being thorough enough. Hubby offered to kick my butt for me. Thanks :P.

So right now I have to think extremely hard. I have a plan which could perhaps win back my piece and gain an advantage and perhaps lead to a forced mate. :P But it's so damn hard to stare at the board and think five six moves ahead, and I'm getting a bloody headache over this. I'm kicking myself for not being more serious earlier and for being so serious right now to win this bloody irritating game. It's a gambit I'm going to have to make, and I'm not sure if opponent will fall for it. If he does, he will end up where I want him to. If he doesn't, I'll get back my bishop but lose the momentum of the attack. Damn damn damn. What should I do?

Decisions are hard to make when playing chess. I'm someone who is extremely indicisive. Ask Wen about me and she'll definitely roll her eyes. :P I took one whole day and many phone calls to decide whether to buy a 5kg washing machine or a 8kg one. :P I couldn't make up my mind when it comes to many things. So it's a strange thing actually that I like playing chess. But one thing I've learnt from all these chess playing is that once I've made my move, there's no way I can change my mind. And there's no point regretting it ... except that you can kick yourself black and blue after that. :P

Actually I prefer people to tell me what to do instead of making decisions on my own. I'm just that lazy. :P

I'm going to have to set up my chess board and go through the variations carefully.

.
.
.

I've made too many blunders and there's no way to win this game. :(

Butterflies in the tummy

Noooo ... it's not because I had a late lunch .... ohhh, I've not had this feeling for a looonnng time now. It's because of the current chess game I'm playing! So much for correspondence chess. Opponent is currently online, and we are playing moves like any other standard game. It's so exciting! Cos I'm doing all the attack right now in the first game ... is there a checkmate coming soon? Maybe not, it's really too complicated, and I'm not exactly winning either. I'm waiting to see what he moves next. In the second game, I was one pawn down all the way, BUT ... I've just taken back a pawn .. oh, make that TWO. hahaa. The tables have turned!

:)

Shucks ... opponent last move was 10 minutes ago. Seems like he has gone offline. That is the problem of correspondence chess. It takes too bloody long. My blood is boiling! I must try to remember what I was attacking the next time. Ah well ... any challenges anyone? :) My fingers itch to play again!

I think I ought to go clean up my room istead of waiting for the next move which is unlikely to happen so soon. Opponent is losing in the 2nd game but 1st game still unclear. :P

Okie ... so I'm going to be a blatent show-off. Nahh .. I'm just bored and waiting for opponent to make his next move. Here're the games that were giving me butterflies.

Game One:

Opponent has just moved his knight from g3 to h5. In my humble opinion, that was a blunder on his part? because after queen checks ... he'll lose his knight for sure now, won't he? I was expecting him to have played knight e2 instead, which I will then have to think what to do next. It's all very tricky. I didn't dare to sacrifice my pieces earlier because I couldn't tell for sure there's a forced mate. But after I win a pawn, things started to roll. Before that, I was kinda hopelessly fumbling in the dark. damn.

Game Two:

Heh heh ... all I can say is that he's now cooked for sure. Earlier on, he was actually one pawn up. *bleah* Mate in four coming right up! Can you see it? :P

Pats self on back. :P :P :P

Holiday interrupted

It's raining heavily now, I'm glad I got home before it poured. I'm falling sick with flu. Perhaps I shouldn't have gone for the meeting today. But there's so much to pack. I think I shall not go tomorrow then. My headache is killing me.

I wanted to write something, but I've forgotten what I wanted to write after talking with Lin. :P So I'm going to sleep instead. What a boring entry this is. haha.

*****
It's miserable to be sick. My nose is running, my head is aching, and my throat feels sore. My parents are not in to cook lunch and dinner for me. They have gone on a cruise, and I couldn't go because I had to go back to work this week. *sob* So here I am, falling ill and all alone right now. Hubby has to work 13 hours today. :( Bextra doesn't seem to help with a flu-induced headache though. Damn.

Where are my priorities? I've bought the refrigerator and washing machine already. Heh heh. I asked HC ... she has gotten her house already and has done up the place, painting, kitchen, lights etc ... so I asked her if she'd bought her fridge and washing machine. Huh? What do you mean no? Waah .. and here I am, when I've not even cleared the defects, buying so much stuffs for my place. *bleah*

I've gotten the hang of this correspondence chess thingy. Who wouldn't if you were playing 20 games in total consecutively? It gets kinda overwhelming actually. Trying to remember what the heck you were doing on a certain board, and what you were actually planning to do. Now I need to spend a little more time thinking, since I've gotten over the opening for most of the games. Playing crap though. I kept forgetting what I was doing, can't think more than one move ahead! See, that's why I still prefernormal OTB. :P

Must go and try out hubby's new skates soon! :)

Oh ... and one last thing. I HATE CUTTING GARLIC! Now my fingers stink of raw garlic. Arrgh. And that was from Monday. double arrgh.

Crazy Day

It's Sunday night, and Xena's blog is not up yet. I've waited more than a week. grrrr.

:P

Well, I've finally bought my dear hubby a pair of blades. :) Ohh, it's a beautiful pair! Goes very fast and has excellent control! No brakes too! Guy selling it was damn good! Very very good in fact, we were very much impressed. Bet he can earn big bucks selling properties. Very friendly, very knowledgable and managed to persuade us to part with a large sum of money. He definitely knows his stuffs, but then he's also an instructor. Think we might pick up some lessons when we are slightly less busy. Too bad my skates are still in rather tip-top condition. But mai hiam lah ... my skates also very pretty! I liked them a lot too. heh.

Well, we were supposed to be looking at house stuffs ... but we got side-tracked a bit. :P

While driving along the road, I noted to hubby that:
Behind every lousy woman, there is a man.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman.

:P

On commenting that this lady driver who didn't know to move out on the road to make a turn. Must be her instructor forgot to teach her to do so. Oh wait, come to think of it, maybe she wanted to make a U-turn?

It's a crazy day today. I feel so rather off colour in the morning, but I feel so happy now! Dunno why. :)

Now I know why I never recieve any email prompts on my opponent moves in chessworld. ha ... they all went into my spam mail, which I always empty without looking ... hahaha. duh ... :P I haven't been playing chess for ages. Fell for the oldest trick in the book. Gave a free bishop. Totally free! No strings attached. Queen check and eat bishop. *sob sob* How silly can I be? Hubby says I'm not playing correspondence chess! I'm playing blitz! How true! :)

Inspirations and Decisions

Ms, Mdm or Mrs ... what's in a name? They don't seem to accept Ms, I wonder why, Mdm sounds tremendously old, so I guess it's Mrs from now onwards. Henceforth, I shall be known. heh.

The house is beautiful. Kitchen is a little small, no, I mean .. very bloody small. The kitchen cabinets aren't very well done but I can't complain can I? I mean if I were to nitpick on my place, then only a landed property can satisfy me. heh. Okie, nevermind. So what if the kitchen is too small? It'll be easier to clean. :) Mental image of refrigerator is being gradually reduced in size.

We thought of having the first day in the new house all to ourselves and welcome the place by making love at the top of the rooftop, in the bathroom, in the kitchen, everywhere. Heh .... but perhaps another time. We weren't given the front door key yet and they need one month to see to all the defects. doh. So right now, we're going back with a mallet and checking that all tiles are not hollow and that there are no cracks in the walls whatsoever to threaten the structure. It's a loooonnng drop down.

Well, so that leaves choosing the colours for each rooms and deciding the lights and curtains. Hubby is refusing to let me choose the colours, saying that me who went to Japan and bought an ORANGE bag ... he shuddered. But hey, orange is a beautiful colour, and I love that bag very much! heh heh. I shall have to take a pic of that bag and put it here ... check out this post again.

Furniture wise, we probably have to cut back even more. There are other stuffs to get, like TV, computers, mattress, washing machine, refrigerator etc. It's going to be an expensive investment. Things here are really crazily ex! The good stuffs at least. And I saw a nice set of dishes (corelle) which I'm thinking of getting soon. Priorities priorities .. oh dear!

Otherwise, it's Christmas soon, and dear hubby has a bright idea to put up a five metres Christmas Tree in the living room! *blinks* We will dedicate the whole living space to the beautiful Christmas Tree which will be up all year round. And it'll be a holiday season every day! Oh, did he just mention that we should get a four inch crystal christmas tree from Swarovski instead? See, how too many decisions can overwhelm and short circuit the brain. :P

My new work place is also nice. It's not very near but ah well. At least the cubicles are HUGE. As compared to the current one, which only includes a table one point two metres long. How to work like that huh? And the people there are rather nice too, at least for the first impression. I remembered the first impression I had for my current place wasn't too good, the people weren't nice. And it's an orange brick building! hahaha! Ahh .. ahem ahem. I shall look forward to it. :)

Penang Chay Kuay Teow later ... *slurp*

Zen and the Art of Motorcar Washing

Darling hubby would always, on a free day, gleefully and very enthusaistically call out, 'It's time to wash the car!'. We would wash the said car at least once a week, a full soap over, wash then rinse then wipe dry, including vacuuming the interior and scrubing the tyres. I know, we are that detailed in cleanliness.

This morning, I called out, 'It's time to wash the car!'. Dear hubby peeled open an eye, looked at me from the low horizontal position he is lounging in, 'huh? What do you mean ... wash the car?'. Whoops, it was like 10 days ago since we last did that, and the car is really, extremely dirty!

And he had an extremely good excuse not to too, since it rained this morning.

Men! *rolls eyes*

:P

One more day.

Tomorrow.

Wooohoo! :)

*****
Meeting PM is always fun. Even though we didn't get to ice-skate yesterday, the bloody rink was closed, it was still nice hanging out with her. We took a slow walk back, and she got to see my most untidy room, and we walked to the library again. I can't remember what exactly we talked about, about work, about life in general etc, but it's just nice to see her again. PM is one person who really loves her work. She gets a high from working. And her eyes sparkle when she talks about it. heh. My parents like her very much too. I think she's my parents' favourite daughter's-friend, second being HM. My mom doesn't really like Wen very much though, she sometimes said Wen is a bad influence on me, which I don't see how it is. duh.

Anyway, we were talking about having cravings. PM has the strangest cravings. Like packets of peanuts; last time it was canisters of potato chips - she can finish one canister in a few hours; strange Japanese prunes, dried cod fish etc. And she's perpetually thinking of going on diet. In her own words, 'to go on diet after breakfast tomorrow'. We told her she's not at all fat, but still ... the mind works in strange ways. I'd say she just need to get toned. Like 'down five!'. That'll be good. I should do that too, else I can't do my handstand properly, but my left arm is aching again. damn.

And speaking of cravings, I have a crave for oyster egg omelette, the nicest now being the one cooked by mom; penang chay kuay teow, recently discovered a really good one at the hawker centre a few bus stops from my place, but it was closed yesterday :( and the best so far is obviously the one in Penang, which I'm planning to go back and eat again. soon. heh. And hokkien prawn noodles. Hmmm .. was planning to eat lunch out and run some errands, but mom told me she's making prawn noodles for lunch, so what can I do? Come home immediately and now waiting, waiting and waiting, for the delicious noodle she's going to make. Boy, am I hungry right now! Drool.

I shall have to buy my wok and pots and pans soon, so that I can experiment with all sorts of mom's favourite dishes on my own. Hope it'll turn up as good as mom's cooking, the worst being just go home and eat. And you know what? The way to a man's heart is really through the stomach. ;) Take note of that, girls. :P

*****
Razz seems to be having a 'blogwar' with another blogger EJ. I'm not sure what it is all about, I thought they were like doing some kind of 'advertising' for their writings ... you know, or rather like some kind of 'gloating' to push each other to the end so as to conquer the 'writer's block monster'. But then again, it does seem quite serious, yet somehow it doesn't really ring serious. It's all very confusing. Reading Razz's blog, it's really quite unlike her. I shall have to keep my eyes opened and ears cleaned to catch the next sniff.

:)

Ohh, I like this one: I shall have to keep my eyes opened and ears cleaned to catch the next sniff. dunno why lah. heh.

A reason to learn French

La Vie en Rose

Des yeux qui font baisser les miens
Un rir' qui se perd sur sa bouche.
Voila le portrait sans retouche.
De l'homme auquel je m'appartiens.

Quand il me prend dans ses bras
il me parle tous bas
Je vois la vie en rose.

Il me dit des mots d'amour.
Des mots de tous les jours
et ca m'fait quelque chose.

Il est entre dans mon coeur.
Une part de bonheur.
Dont je connais le cause.

C'est lui pour moi
moi pour lui dans la vie.
Il me l'a dit l'a jure pour la vie!

Et que des je l'appercois,
alors je sense en moi
mon coeur qui bat.

Quand il me prend dans ses bras
il me parle tous bas
Je vois la vie en rose.

Il me dit des mots d'amour.
Des mots de tous les jours
et ca m'fait quelque chose.

Il est entre dans mon couer.
Une part de bonne heur.
Dont je conais le cause.

C'est lui pour moi
moi pour lui dans la vie.
Il me l'a dit l'a jure pour la vie!

Des que je l'apercoit,
alors je sens en moi
mon coeur qui bat.

A bite more than one could swallow

A few days ago, I was sent an invite for a tournament (in chessworld, of course), and I, being bored, happily signed up for it. Before I knew it, there was a sudden burst of activity, and I now have TWENTY-ONE games to play!! TWENTY-ONE! Is that crazy or what!!! I feel like a Grandmaster playing simultaneous games. hahaha. ahhhh hahahaa ... *kok* my own head. Just great!

This morning I had Hershey's Hot Chocolate. Bought a box off the supermarket yesterday. Didn't know they sell such stuffs actually. So I made my hot chocolate. Was very suspicious of it, but it actually tasted pretty good (with powdered milk) for a first couple of sips. Heh ... Very thick, creamy and sweet. So I added a bit more water. After half the cup, I was feeling a little sick of it. heh. I must say ... it wasn't all that fantastic after all. Perhaps I shouldn't make such a huge cup of hot chocolate. My daily milo and milk concoction tastes much better! And healthier I bet. Had to have some tomatoes to soothe the throat after that.

I think hubby and I both have quite definitely decided on the furniture we want. Seems that somehow we just can't compromise on the quality of the furniture after all. And let's get this straight. He was the one who went gaga yesterday, not me. heh heh. Will have to do more calculations then. I wish ... hmm .. shh, it's a secret. :)

*sigh*

Louis Armstrong ... to chase away the morning blues. :)

Sloth, one of the seven great sins

Okie, so I was lazy. I spent the whole of yesterday in a reclining position - lying in bed propped up by pillows, reading my book and dozing intermittently. Hubby spent the whole day trying to destroy the evil superships with his super-duper-powerful destroyer though. So we're even actually. Heh. But it sure was a rather wasted day.

So this morning, I've decided to clean up the room again, while hubby is working. The urge to clean the room is proportional to the number of sneezes per minute. But I'm not making much progress, am I? Having iTunes playing Chopin's Piano Concerto No. 2 by Martha Argreich, typing away at the keyboard, and eating ice-cream for breakfast. The floor, as usual, is in a mess, with papers strewn all over, one pile to be discarded, one pile to be filed, one pile to be sorted out again etc. I should really start my packing to move all my stuffs to my new place, but ... inertia is holding me stuck to my chair. Ah well. :)

I'm an extremely light sleeper sometimes. Early this morning at 2am, a colleague friend smsed me, and I woke up when I heard the short beep from my handphone. DUH. What a time to sms me. V sometimes sms me late at night too, about 12am, and she would wake me up as well. I wonder how she is, had promised to give her a couple of my rom shots but not done yet. Oh dear. And just around 6am this morning, hubby's handphone gave a weak squeak of protest to announce its pathetic dying state, and THAT woke me up as well! Baaaaddd handphones ... I shut it up by sticking the power in to recharge the battery. Good riddence. After which I couldn't really sleep and was contemplating a morning jog, but decided that it's actually nice just to hug my pillows and remian horizontal. Sloth! Tis good!

Always look on the bright side of things

Yesterday, dear hubby, in the car, with an impish grin on his face, sang to me loudly 'Always look on the bright side of things!' :) For some reason, that image of him kept revisiting my mind. You should have seen me grinning away while walking along the streets or doing my work or even typing here. It cheered me up tremendously. And he's absolutely right! This morning it wasn't a total waste of time at work, sans meeting. Meeting was, as usual, a disaster, but after that I tidied up my workplace a bit. It's not much, but I threw out a trashbagful of stuffs, and even though there are still a lot more things to throw, I'm quite happy with what I've done. And with dear hubby in my mind, cheering me on ... :) Am I the luckiest person or what?

And we have made the appointment to get our keys next week! I'm really looking foward to that! Woohoo! :)

*****
Trying to call PM is as easy as striking lottery. She's either not at home, or sleeping, or whatever. Plus she has changed her pager and I don't have the new number and neither does her sister. Trying to get Min out is also more difficult than hitting toto. heh. Ah well, I think I'll still try ... sometimes. :P No, not buying lottery or toto, I rarely do that, except maybe now, wish upon a star .. perhaps I might be able to buy my dream furniture then. :)

*****
In the newspapers today, 62 is too young to stop working ... of course 62 is, ostensibly, too young to stop working! Who is going to support you if you stop working? Wait long long for the G, or your kids? Naah ... forget it. After all, even if you'd like to retire and have a good life in your old age, the choice is not yours to make anymore. You know, there's just no place for a person who has outlived his usefulness. You just have to work to your grave. Ha . haha.

Hot and bothered

Things have a way of mysterously disappearing in my room. A few months back, I saw it during one of my intensive clearing of the room. I remembered telling myself don't lose it again, and to make sure that I placed it in an easily available place, which I can't remember where now. :P So right now that I need it, I can't find it at all! Has gone through my most untidy room three times already for the past hour and I still can't find that few pieces of paper! Don't you simply hate it? Arrgh.

And yes, I've to wake up early just to attend an annoying one hour meeting. humf.

Yesterday we went to look at furniture. I found my dream furniture, but they cost a bomb. Why am I so picky? :(

And the air-con isn't cold anymore. All bad things come together. :(

:-(

What do I see when I get home, on my desk? A piece of paper on it scribbed the words, Meeting this Friday. What the .. bloody hell? Is it this Friday? I don't want to go for a meeting! It's so bloody f***ing unfair!!! Why?! WHY?!?!?! WHY!!!??!?!!! BOo HoO HooOOoo :( :( :( :( I had plans on Friday! I don't want to go ... arrrgh. :(

Now I am feeling depressed.

So bloody freaking stupid.

:(

*****
This is truely EVIL.

I quote:
...And Xena will be away for the long holidays - tormenting nice horsies in Johor and then moving on to Dayang to chase manta rays and sperm whales :)

Horses?!?! HORSES?!?!!! I'm sooo jealous!!! And manta rays and whales?! WAAAaaaah!! Sounds truely bliss. Tormenting me!! *SULK*

And I was just talking to my friend in Kaz about ice-skating in the OPEN, a frozen lake with mountains surrounding it!! WAAAAAAH :(

Everyone seems to be going away for their holidays! Me? I have no holidays to speak of. Have to be on bloody stand by for bloody freaking work. And my Dec hols are also quite ruined as well, because everything still not settled back at work. This is so bloody freaking idiotic. Today is a baaaaddd day. I want to get out of the country too.

*lie on floor and throws tantrums*

Thoughts in my head

What is the difference between an electric kettle and a normal one? Does an electric kettle actually heats up water faster than a normal kettle? Perhaps I should get an electric kettle as well.

I would like to go ice-skating again. It's been like a few years since I last went. Used to go almost every week. The rink is still having the ladies night on Tuesday. Cheap! heh. Wonder if PM's free to go with me. Hmmm.

***
Quippes (whatever that means)

Serious sport has nothing to do with fair play. It is bound up with hatred, jealousy, boastfulness, and disregard of all the rules.
~ George Orwell, Shooting an Elephant

He was once a doctor but is now an undertaker; and what he does as an undertaker he used to do as a doctor.
~ Martial

When I drink, I think; and when I think, I drink.
~ Rabelais

You can fool too many of the people too much of the time.
~ James Thurber

Arithemic is where the answer is right and everything is nice and you can look out of the window and see the blue sky - or the answer is wrong and you have to start all over and try again and see how it comes out this time.
~ Carl Sandburg, Complete Poems

A man is in general better pleased when he has a good dinner upon his table than when his wife talks Greek.
~ Samuel Johnson

By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day.
~ Robert Frost

The cruellest lies are often told in silence.
~ Robert Louis Stevenson

If you once understand an author's character, the comprehension of his writing becomes easy.
~ Longfellow

I keep six honest serving-men
(They taught me all I knew):
Their names are What and Why and When
And How and Where and Who.
~ Rudyard Kipling

When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.
~ Mark Twain

No mask like open truth to cover lies,
As to go naked is the best disguise.
~ William Congreve

We saw a knotted pendulum, a noose: and a strangled woman swinging there.
~ Sophocles, Oedipus Rex

Suicide is the worst form of murder, because it leaves no opportunity for repentance.
~ John Collins

I never saw a man who looked
With such a wistful eye
Upon that little tent of blue
Which prisoners call the sky
~ Oscar Wilde, The Ballad of Reading Gaol

***
I wonder ... how does it actually feel like to be illiterate? And having no thoughts at all in the head.

Xena's blog is still down. :( Man ... I'm starting to get withdrawal symptomes. heh ... see how addictive reading blogs can be? However, Hammie HAS actually written something in his blog. heh. False alarm? Good thing that.

***
My first correspondence chess game has seen my opponent requesting for a game with the time control of ONE move in SEVEN days. And I had foolishly accepted the challenge. Then strangely enough, it turned out to be TWO games, one being myself as a white player and the other as a black player. The oppenent as a white player has made his move, and I've replied as per normal. That's ONE miserable move TWO days ago, and I'm still waiting for his next move. Obviously I've made my first move in the second game and I'm now yawning away.

Oh wait, he has actually moved his knight in the first game and a pawn in the second game! Hahaha ... this is soo ... absolutely ... idiotic! Can I just abort the games? It's taking way tooo slow. Now ... why weren't the moves announced to me in my email? Or has it already done so? Or do I have to check the webpage everyday? Shessh. I think I'll still prefer over-the-board anytime.

No matter, I just have to be chotto more patient. Arrgh.

Then again, perhaps 7 days per move isn't such a bad idea after all.

heh.

Huh? I'm brand new to the site, and I can't play multiple games? What the ... that's an insult to my intelligence! Wah.

Hmm, I'm not sure if I really like it very much. Fics is still better.

***
Book Review: Colin Dexter's Inspector Morse Mystery.

Had been reading a few of his books lately. Quite interesting at times, but the detective is quite like Sherlock Holmes/Hercule Poirot type. Brillant but rather vague. Sometimes too brillant in fact, how he manages to solve the crime doesn't seem very logical. And he tries to be funny, the inspector himself having quite a number of faults, definitely not as perfect as Sherlock. There's also a Dr. Watson sidekick. It's always useful to have one like! Overall, I won't say I'm extremely impressed by it all, but still ... a nice read.

I'm feeling ...

1. Tired - tsukareta. My thighs are aching. It's been a long time since I felt this tired! But, it feels good ... really really good. heh. What can I say? Yoga is wonderful after all. :) Well, at least my butt isn't sore today.

2. Happy. No work for one whole week! Keys are coming soon! Hubby for being there all the way for me. Especially it's my first time, and he knows I hate it, and he was with all the time. What more can I ask for? :)

=)

TV was actually showing Smurfs on Kids Central this afternoon. hahaha.

On cab drivers. Yesterday I took a cab to visit hubby. Driver was extremely loquacious. Had a loud and cheery voice and was being extremely kah-poh, like asking me if I were a student, and whether I was visiting a friend etc etc. But I was feeling extremely misanthropic that day and he got my full blast of mono-syllabic grunts, snorts and mutters. Eventually after a few hearty attempts, he finally got my extremely subtle hint when I buried my nose in my book. So there.

heh.

I got 6 more boxes of haagen daz ice-cream. They move very fast, what with mom and older brother raiding the fridge almost everyday (mom occasionally). I think I've eaten too much chocolates again. Throat wasn't feeling too good this morning. And I'm never ever going to be able to maintain my weight like that. *bleah*

Couldn't spell maintenance. Got it wrong first two tries. How embarrassing! Bugger it. heh. That sounds good ... bugger it bloody bugger.

I can never get this word straight:

Imcumbent
Pronunciation: in-'k&m-b&nt
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Latin incumbent-, incumbens, present participle of incumbere to lie down on, from in- + -cumbere to lie down; akin to cubare to lie
1 : the holder of an office or ecclesiastical benefice
2 : OCCUPANT

Function: adjective
1 : imposed as a duty : OBLIGATORY
2 : having the status of an incumbent; especially : occupying a specified office
3 : lying or resting on something else
4 : bent over so as to rest on or touch an underlying surface

Strangly, I always thought it somehow meant heavy or clumsy or some Physics term or something to that effect. (And more like explaination 3 & 4 which sounds more familiar) Or have I mixed it up with some other word?

My arms are aching too. I need to practise more arm balances. Still a bit shaky on doing the little bird. :P There's a crow pose and now there's the little bird pose. sounds fun huh. :) Can't quite do three point head stand. Need to improve arm strength first!

Still can't do hand stand very well. I think I'm just afraid of falling.

Lazy Monday

Week after week passes by too fast. STOP!!

Ouch. My butt felt sore. very. Must be all the torture I went through yesterday during yoga. *sniff*

Ouch. My toenail hurts. itai itai. Think it must have gotten ingrown. *sniff sniff*

Xena's blog is down. *sniff sniff sniff*

I need to repaint a couple of my toes. Messed them up too much. *sniff*

I did very well for my Japanese Test, but there's no joy, and no kick out of it, cos' of no good teacher. :( Furthermore the administrative people are damn rude. *sniff sniff*

I need to tidy up room, but it's a lazy monday. *sniff*

I'm b o r e d. *sniff sniff sniff*

:P

Would you have done this?

Many people tend to speed up when they see the lights turn yellow at the traffic junction. It's very ... common for the extremely impatient us. For me, I've learnt my lesson during my driving exam, no ... I didn't run the lights, but I didn't slow down at the junction as my instructor had told me time and time again. My first driving exam was very easy. There were hardly any cars on the road in the morning of the exam. I was driving normally fast in the super straight stretch of the road, and I saw the green lights calling seductively at me from about 200(?) metres away. Thoughts tumbled through my head, should I slow down or will the lights remain green? Is the lights going to stay green? Is it going to change soon? Will I be able to go through the junction before it turned yellow? And while my indecisiveness was still hard at work, I neared the junction, the lights decided to turn yellow, my super fast reflexes immediately slammed on the brakes and screeched to a halt just slightly outside the white line.

Am I good or what! hahaha.

The examiner was not impressed though. He said that if there were a car behind me, it'll had hit me. I should have either slowed down earlier, or just go through the bloody yellow lights. rrrright. That was another few marks deducted. In the end, I guess he just wasn't very happy about my driving. Even though I did not make any more mistakes (the earlier one being the wheels TOUCHing the bloody S curve in the circuit), he decided to fail me.

Ah well. I was rather nervous during the first exam anyway. If he had passed me, I might not have the confidence to drive on my own. So I just took up a couple more lessons, and confidently pass the 2nd round. No glaring mistakes the 2nd time too! :)

But I digress. Yellow lights. Red lights. It's quite common to go through yellow lights, but I bet people wouldn't go through red lights. But hubby did that. Once. Really.

We were quite lost on the road. Apparently we had done a wrong turn somewhere and we ended up in some super ulu roads, dark and empty. I was trying deperately to get our bearings on the map, and hubby was happy to just cruise along in the car. This was when we just got our car. When we neared a junction, he asked me what next? I replied, 'Go straight'. Which he did just that. And he cruised happily through the junction.

Except the lights were red.

And there were three policemen on motorbikes at the other side of the junction. I saw them after we passed by them. I looked at hubby. 'Hey! The lights were red and you just went through them red lights in front of all those traffic police!' WOW.

Whoops.

Good thing the police were talking to one another and did not realised that we just went slowly through the red lights. heh heh. Now who's dumber? :P

My cousin told me that during her driving exam, she was happily driving on the super straight stretch of road, when the examiner suddenly asked her, 'what is the speed limit for ____ roads?' ... She replied, '70km/h'. Perfect answer! Examiner, 'That's right, and you have just failed your exam.' Whoops. She had been speeding happily and unknowingly (over the speed limit) on the super beautiful straight stretch of road. DOH.

*****
I came home today with three pretty pairs of shoes. Wanted to get one only actually, and get Wen to buy the 2nd one so that we get the discount. But I ended up getting three and her, two. *bleah* But they're really good quality ones and each ended up less than a hundred. *bleah*

No more shopping, girl!

:P

*****
My Japanese class. Finally finished the intermediate 1 yesterday. The test was .. err, rather easy. Actually very easy. Why, you asked? First of all, I did revise quite a bit. Had been extremely good and hardworking this time round. Made summary notes and all that stuffs. But most importantly, before the test, our teacher did a review with us. Basically she was giving us about 80% of the answers in the test itself. *rolls eyes* Yes, I know ... she's that lousy a teacher. I didn't need her doing that. It took away the anticipation of the test. What was the point of doing well when half the time during lessons, you don't understand what she's trying to say, and at the end she just give you the answers to the test? What is the point? I don't mind if she gave some tips ... but ... but ... shessh. We spoke with some of the classmates and we decided to request for a change of teacher for the next level. Otherwise we aren't going to continue. It'll be good to take a break and study on my own.

*sigh*

*****
And if anyone feels like playing chess with me, go here. It's like correspondence chess. I've never played correspondence chess before. I'm not sure if I'm very interested in corresponding chess yet. Am in, since it's recommended by Min. Omoshiroi though. :)

Shoes struck

I saw two very nice pairs of shoes ... and I'm thinking of getting them soon. heh heh. :) Shoes ... that which completes a woman. I'm not really into shoes, as long as they are pretty and comfortable. Unfortunately that isn't always possible most of the times, and even if they are, they're probably damn expensive. So ... those two pairs of shoes are quite pretty and quite comfy ... and quite afforable. So there.

**
She writes really well, and this one is very funny. I can never write like that.

What do I do during invigilation? I'm not sure, I think my mind is blank most of the time. Sometimes I try to recite to myself certain phrases from my Jap lessons. But most of the time, I just let everything flow over me. It's actually called stoning and I've become very good at it. It's the most boring duty in my whole life. I can never keep still.

I'm so bored ... I need to start planning what to do soon.

Amused

My cousin is getting married.

News travel very fast on the grapevine.

Said cousin is a high-flyer who studied overseas and came back to be a doctor. One year younger than me. Tall, handsome and easily available. Was told that the 'wife-to-be' met him as a patient's relative, and went all out to find out more about him, got his details and phone number and persisted in calling him out and all that. Whew! After a FEW months, she wanted to get married and he obliged. *blinks blinks* My aunt wasn't all that amused though. Mom said she heard that she said the girl was short and slightly plump and not pretty. There's always something about Mothers being critical. I'm not sure what to think about it all, but it's been rather boring for me ... so this latest news sure amused me very much.

The last time I saw my cousin was at my Grandfather's funeral and I mistook him for his younger brother. He's just as nerdie as ever. I remembered him always trying to intervene when I quaralled with his brothers and my brothers. There have always been a lot of boys in the family and I was the only girl for a long time. Still, all those card games and board games were rather fun.

Ah well ... perhaps I should go and visit them and take a look. heh.

Because I need a reminder

Great ideas from Razz's. :)

And these are some of mine ...

Cuddly huggy hubby
the grin in his face
the smile in his eyes
all crinkled up
Coo ee chriped the bird
my cats flatze and roundo
cat's paw between my toes
cat's fur under my palm
twinkle winkle little stars
and the moon a cookie shape
the smell of mom's cooking
and that of Rich Rewards by Origins
a book in my hand
snuggled up and tucked in bed
Joshua Bell's Puccini
O Mio Babbino Caro
The wind in my hair
holding tightly onto hubby's hands
the sound of our laughter
pillow fights.

:P

The sound of silence

Peace at last.

Yay.

I should revise.

But I'm bored.

*yawn*

:P

Bloopers

Day 4. drrrr ... drrrr ... drrrr ... When is it going to end?

Whoops! I scrapped the car at the undercarriage today. Hubby sure was upset and annoyed.

Car wash. 1 hour 15 minutes. 60 cents plus $55 + $14 + $60 + $15 = $154.60. Hmmm.

Really tired now.

Kasugai Beans and You

Peace at last ... at 5pm. The drilling was still going on and on today. It certainly doesn't help since my head was pounding as well. I couldn't revise or read. Had a wonderful conversation with Lin instead. Hurray for some friends! :)

I have three boxes of Haagen Daz ice-cream and one box of the new crispy sandwich ice-cream in the freezer right now. There was this promotion going on, and you've guessed it, yup .. I sure bought quite a lot. yum yum.

Need to sleep ... later.

The noise goes on

The drilling goes on and on. I can hear it in and out of my head. It is relentless, cruel, mocking, long long short. There is no peace. Arrgh.

I thought I could come home and revise my lessons or play the piano or sleep. But this is driving me crazy. Hubby doesn't seem much affected by it at all. Humf. I need to get out soon.

*****
Here's something worth reading about. Very well written I think.

A Chinese traditional wedding. Hmm ... that is what most people are asking me when I am having one. Or rather, they would ask, 'when am I getting married?' aka 'having a chinese traditional wedding'. To me, I don't feel the need to have one. Hubby and I are both Teochews, but after reading the above, I was quite surprised to find out that there're so many things I didn't know.

Traditions are passed down in the family. My family has not exactly been a very traditional one. Perhaps if Grandfather was still around, things might be different. We do not have a large happy family. I am not close to any of my relatives at all. When we were young, we used to be so, but as we grew up, the adults have their differences and everyone slowly drifted apart.

My parents are not very much concerned about traditions. Sometimes I feel that my father doesn't really care about us. Mother does care, but only superficially. As long as our physical needs are looked after, as long as we grow up to be strong and healthy and independent, they're okie with it. I won't say I am emotionally close to my parents. I wouldn't talk to them about issues close to my heart, and they aren't the kind to invite confidences. On the other hand, I am my mother's listening ear. I listen to her 'complains' and her comments and sometimes I wonder if it has made me cynical and bitter about a few things. Don't get me wrong, mother doesn't take anything to heart. She's a happy and cheerful lady and she doesn't have any grudges about anything at all. In the end, all her negative emotions come to me instead, and I am the one being angry and unhappy for her.

I have been told many times not to expect anything from anyone. Not from my parents or from my in-laws. If we were to have a traditional wedding ceremony, I will have to do and plan everything. The four points of gold in a teochew marriage? I've certainly not heard of that! Once when I asked my mom if she's going to give me anything when I ROMed, my mom mentioned that she'll give me a set (earrings, necklace, bracelet) only if I have the wedding dinner. So I decided to forgo it, since it doesn't exactly sound very sincere and also I don't think I want my mom to spend the money, since half the time she would complain about money matters. If I really want it, I can buy it with my own money which I worked for. There's never any use asking people for things.

I'm not sure about my in-laws though, but I've been told not to expect anything from them too. My parents and my in-laws aren't exactly very close either. Both are the reticent types and when we put them together, there really isn't much conversation to have.

I did actually think about having a traditional wedding celebration. Ideally, it was to be on the 1st anniversary of our ROM, just in time when our house is completed. A church service in the morning, followed by the tea ceremony and wedding dinner at night. After which we can retire to our new little nest. But it's not going to happen anymore. The alternative plan was to just have the tea ceremony cum house warming. Something simple. But I'm not sure if this is going to happen either. Because, the place doesn't seem to be ready yet and besides hubby is now talking about wanting to have a real wedding dinner, and if we are going to, then shouldn't we have the tea ceremony and dinner together on the same day? And what about the church service? When are we going to put that in?

I'm not very enthusiastic about it all now. No one seems to be very enthusiastic about it either. My parents don't seem to be very enthusiastic about me getting married, nor are hubby's parents. I don't know. I am someone who need to be infected by another person's enthusiasm and joy sometimes. My ROM was quite a success mainly due to Wen's enthusiasm and prodding. I think she was even more excited than me. She'd keep asking me about it and discussed with me the nitty gritty stuffs and got me on task. If left to just me and hubby, I doubt we would really get things done much.

Even right now, when we do talk about having a wedding dinner, it's just talk, but nothing concrete, nothing definite. The only thing nice about having a wedding dinner is it'll be nice to invite some of my close friends to share my joy. But as the days pass, I wonder ... do I still have any close friends? There aren't any relatives I would like to share my joy with. It just feels that there isn't anyone I'd like to share the joy of getting married with, except hubby of course, but we're already married. No one seems to be interested either. Life just goes on. Perhaps if Grandma is all right, perhaps, just perhaps I might be more keen to have one. And on my paternal side, no one seems to care either.

It's supposed to be a joyous occasion. But when I try to imagine it, somehow part of me dread it. It's not too good to have too much knowledge about other people, it just makes you unhappy with them. I'm not very keen to talk about it either, it's better to have zilch expectations.

And I must never forget it's good enough just to have hubby, who loves me. :) Nothing else really matters.

Pretty Pretty!

These are all so pretty! From Xena's page ...

Here.

I like this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this
and many many more actually.

They're so pretty! Look at those shoes! Look at those gowns! And all those accessories. Pretty! Very very pretty! :)

Home early

It's nice to go home early on a Monday. Really nice. Ahh ... was looking forward to it all morning. But guess what. Some idiotic contractors are doing some drilling upstairs. The noise is driving me mad.

DOH!

I've gotta get out of the house soon.

*****