I'm terrible at writing.

There are so many things I want to write about but they are all in my thoughts. I think about them, and they float away in the wind. I should capture them down and carve them on wood or electronic whatever. Yes, I really should. ;)

Where shall I start? Lots of things happened since I last wrote. I went to the National Individuals Schools Chess Championships today and felt like I've stepped into my history. I was that age too, when I was so excited and nervous. So eager to start the game, yet filled with butterfiles in the stomach. Mind filled with all the possible combinations yet fingers cold with dread worrying which move I should take. Now, I felt like looking out through the eyes of a ghost, drifting along in the babble, walking through the running kids and floating along the hushed hall. I felt calm, and I looked at the games without excitment. All these are over for me. I certainly can't play in tournaments anymore, though the idea of joining the National Women's flirted at the edge of my mind. It would be nice to take up the gauntlet, be alive and breathing (and sweating). To live with fear and insanity at the edge for one wrong move leads to a downfall. Do I have the courage? My sensibilities stepped in and woke me up from my muse. Naahh ... I'm too old and it's bloody too stressful, huh. Still, perhaps one day when I've time to practise, ... perhaps, perhaps .....