Being ill again.

The son has fallen sick again. The ups and downs of a fever, the hacking cough at night, the cough until vomiting. He's really picking up a lot of germs at school. Heard that a couple of his classmates are sick too. One was even hospitalised.

My dear boy. Fortunately he seems pretty ok in the day. The fever only spiked at night. Same as the cough. One good thing is that he just loves his medicine. So no problem in giving him that. The bad thing is that I might have caught his bug too. Damn bone aching weariness.

It didn't help that I have to work over the weekend. The son was with me on Saturday. And I had a very bad premonition when I saw him sleeping on the couch in the next room. I didn't bring an extra pair of pants for him! Sure enough, and it was even worse. Actually he didn't pee in his pants when he was asleep. Ask me what he did. And it had to be at the point when we were so busy. Shessh. Rolls eyes.

The son has been bedwetting on and off for the past two weeks. I guess we are also at fault. The poor boy had been sick, so I had been watering him lots. And whenever he didn't have much of an appetite for dinner, or when he vomited his dinner because of his cough, I'll make an additional cup of milk for him before he slept. Of course he couldn't empty his bladder before he fell asleep. So last night I let him wear his pullups again, and everyone was happy. Although he woke up in the middle of the night at cried because he thought he wetted his bed again!

The daughter is also slightly sick, with some runny nose and some cough now and then. Didn't sound too serious, so no medicine for her too. I think my kids are pretty strong actually. The son has had all his vaccinations, and has been exposed to super many germs at the clinic. Heh. It'll be the daughter's turn soon.

I wanted to write about some of my girl's antics. But I forgot what they were. :P

Quality Time with the Son

So I thought, rather than another day buming at home, playing with more Lego, or playing online games - that's the latest hit, ever since one desperate day, I searched for Lego online games and wala. Can't quite remember the website my neighbour was telling me about, some website with educational online games for preschoolers. Hmm. We were bored with the cdroms I got for him, the most interesting one was at my parents' place.

So rather than just vegetating at home, I decided on a whim to bring my son to the zoo. It involved quite a big upheaval actually, since I just can't go off and leave the daughter with the maid. Have to send her to my parents. And I can't drive the car with the two kids, so the maid has to go along, and she hasn't even done half her chores. *sigh*

Was so angry with her, but that's another story, I think I seriously need to start looking for a new maid. Enough chances.

So off we went, driving the stupid manual car (after stalling a thousand and one times at the traffic lights).

Off we went to the zoo. To see so many animals. And it took us only an hour and a half. I did all the walking, my dear son enjoyed himself being pushed on the pram throughout the whole journey.

A little bubble of a dream burst - the part where he would hold my hands and we would walk together, or he would be running around and smiling happily.

Pushing a pram is very tiring work. Do I wonder why my back ached a lot now?

Within an hour an a half. I'm quite proud to say that we saw a record of animals. Even more so than when we went with hubby.

I think the zoo has too many types of monkey. It just seem to be monkeys and monkeys everywhere. There're chimps, there're orangs, there're the big nosed ones, there're the red butts, there're the black ones, there're the black ones with white hair etc etc. Man, it's really a monkey zoo, no doubt.

We saw the hippos, giraffes, zebras, horses, goats, deers, polar bears, white tigers, lion, parrots, ostrich, flamingos, fish, turtles, and the many many monkeys. The son fell asleep towards the end when we were reaching the exit. I promised him ice-cream when we leave, but he was so sound asleep, that when I asked him if he still wanted one, he only snored in reply. Heh.

He didn't forget my promise when we got home, fortunately I had some quality ice-cream waiting. Japanese strawberry ice-cream. One word. Shiok. :)

Now my back is still hurting while the two kids are sleeping like babies.

No Skip Beat yet, unfortunately.

Almost Nine months post

My darling girl is almost nine months old. Here are a few things she can do.

1. Call papa.

2. Stand with support.

3. Cruise along the sofa.

4. Pulls herself to standing.

5. Takes semi-solid food.

6. Takes a few tottering steps if you hold her hands.

7. Crawls super fast.

And she still has only two bottom teeth.

Last night, the son snatched her new toys from her and was going to scratch her. We scolded him and he cried. The daughter, on seeing her brother cry, started crying too. We told the son to apologise and stop crying. And when the son did that, his sister stopped crying too. We told the son to smile at his sister, he did that, and she smiled back at him.

:P

I think my two kids will be good to each other next time. :)

One by one, and round and round it goes.

I think it was the son who brought it back. Maybe from school.

Then my mom caught it. It went all the way to macaw. She got it the worst, or maybe because of her bad habits there, it got worse. She had high fever, and she can still gamble and win. She told me she was shivering and thought it was the shiver of excitment since she was winning! The chills! The chills! Brought on by high fever. Lah! And who never listen to me and bring travel medicine, although the last time I've packed for her the medicine too. And they couldn't find any doctor. I told her to call her hotel conciege to get one for her next time. *sigh* What can daugthers do to their hopeless mothers?

So she came back and she was still sick. We started her off with antibiotics. Because she was complaining about the cough.

Then hubby got it. When a guy gets sick, you'd think the whole sky is falling down. Period.

So he started himself with the maximum dose of medicine. Antibiotics, prednisolone, flu medicine, cough medicine and his favourite lozenges. And don't forget to tuck him in at night and keep his chest warm. Heh heh. It's the asthma type of cough.

Then if I remember correctly, I think the son caught it back again. But it didn't last very long. And he kept coughing into my face. Arrgh.

Then I caught it. Mine didn't go into the lungs. It was all stuck in the nose. Blocked nose with evil greenish looking stuffs. For almost a week. And I can't be a sore bear too. *sniff*

Two days ago, everything cleared up. And now my girl seem to be down with it too. She has the throaty cough as well. She vomited a few times. Let's hope tonight won't be too bad. The trick is to keep the chest warm. We have been sleeping without air-con for the past few nights because of this. Fortunately the weather is quite cool. Although the kids end up sweating, especially the head.

I wonder who is going to be next. :P

Making pizza, toys and more.

So I was inspired by a fellow blogger to make pizza.

Sure, I know that if one involves the kids in the cooking, the kids will love to eat the food. Read that in many of those online kiddie help places as well as Dr Sears' books. From time to time, I do that, like for a period of time, I involved my son in making his own breakfast. Basically it only requires him to cut his sachet of milk powder (with his scissors, he loves to do that!) and pouring it out into his tupperware cup, and filling it with warm water (which I've already prepared in another cup. After which we'll stir together for a while, and I'll let him spread his kaya jam on his slice of bread.

Does it work in making him eat? Well, he finishes his breakfast as always. And as always, it's either myself or the maid feeding him spoon by spoon of the milk and piece by piece of the bread. Leave it to him to eat, and it'll be like tomorrow we get to school.

So here we go, making pizza. For your information, I cut everything myself since you just can't rely on the maid to cut the mushrooms, onion, squid and ham to the shape and size you want. Maybe next time I'll let my son do the cutting, if I could get him away from his lego. He was building a house with his daddy while I was preparing lunch!

Spread a spread-spread.

Add a add-add.

More! More!

Here

And there. The finished product.

It still took him forever to eat his pizza. And the maid has to feed him in the end, one piece by one piece. Oh well. He was more interested in his lego, and we just got him hooked on Star Wars.

Here is his Darth Vader, and he was listening to YouTube playing the Darth Vader theme. Nowadays he'll ask you to sing the Darth Vader song when he takes out his Darth Vader and the good guy song when he plays his Republic solders.

And I just bought him R2-D2 on Friday. Ran all the way down to the shop to get it. Cost me bloody almost $20 for one tiny piece! Who says I'm bias and only write about my daughter? Cheh.

Daugther has got two new toys as well. A playmobile shed with a truck. See, you can actually put the different shapes into the roof of the shed. Can't quite see in this pic. And a rattle. When the son was at this age, he wasn't too keen on toys, but my girl just loves to play with toys. Especially her brother's. And she sure loves to play with this set, because her brother immediately took over it when we got home. Haha.

New stuffs

Gosh, blogger offers so many new gadgets nowadays. I'm so backwards. Put up a playlist like Wen, but can't really find any music I like. At least I don't autorun it (yet). *grins* I still prefer my anime music. Favourite currently is the Skip Beat ending theme (the new one) and Zoku Natsume Yuujinchou ending theme. Listening on repeat. Bliss.

New stuffs. My dear girl is standing quite well now (with support) and she's really keen to walk (with support). She's becoming quite impossible too, if you put her down and leave her alone, she'll cry her eyes out. Nothing much to report about the son, not that I'm being bias or so. Am usually too tired to write about his many antics. The latest being when he was supposed to practise his violin, the cheeky boy came out with many cheeky positions on where to place the violin (at rest position). Is it here? - On his head. Nope. Is it here? - Behind his backside. Nope. Is it here? - Under his foot. Nope. He can become a first-rate actor if he ever overcome his shyness in front of people. LOL.

Need to do lots of housekeeping though.

How sianness can rub off from one to another.

So today I was looking forward to spending time alone with my dear daughter in the morning. Maybe both of us could catch some nice nap and some quality time together. I could tidy up the house a bit too. In the afternoon, my father would send the son back from school and he'd dabao my favourite teochew meepok. Yum yum. My day is set. My mouth watered to think of the delicious fishball noodles.

Then when it was time to leave, the son cried and cried and refused to go without me. The hubby was helpless to do anything as usual, plus it was already so late to do anything else, so all my beautiful plans fell flat on my face.

I fed my daughter to get her to sleep. But the son does his dinosaur tramping and up and awake and bushy eyed the girl became. Right now the bad boy is soaking himself in his meimei's tub, kicking his legs and splashing about in the water. I check on him from time to time, because it's never safe for kids to be alone with water. Am trying to get him out but it'll only lead to tears and beatings. *sigh* Oh well, at least some peace for me out here to type a sianness post, the only harm is pruned fingers.

When a girl is sian, she cheers herself up with ice-cream and chocolates and shopping therapy. Yay shopping! When a guy is sian, he lies in bed all day and mopes about, practically spreading the gloom. It's all the fault of a person, so annoying actually. I told him to forget it and try to make up, but he refused. Oh well, I've tried. It's no wonder no one wants to hang out with that person. It's probably all my fault again. Ha, but I'm zen now.

All I need is a break from my two kids. Yoga. Arrgh, I need to go back to Yoga.

Beauty is more than just skin deep

So I hadn't seen Wen for a very long time. That day when we met up for her birthday, it was like a few months since I last saw her. Oh boy, I must say, she looked real good. Her skin was glowing. No fine lines, very smooth skin. Yep, was definitely impressed. And her secret? Collagen pills.

Rewind a few weeks before that. My mother was telling me all about this drink she was taking. Some collagen thingy. Supposed to make the skin smooth and supple etc etc. I listened with half a ear and the words floated over my head.

After that one glimpse of Wen, I was reminded of what my mom said.

Fast forward a few weeks after that. My mom started talking about the drink she was taking again. This time I was more interested. Then she started saying that all my aunties were taking them. This time my ears twitched. Then she continued saying that both my cousins were taking them. Now my cousins are one one year older than me and one four years younger than me. This time my brain went into active drive. Okay, I want to take them too. It's kind of like, hey, you know, your cousin P is also taking them. Implied, how come you don't know? Why aren't you taking them too? My cousin P is very pretty, by the way.

After so many years, maybe I'm still a bit jealous. :P

Not sure if that is my mom's intention to make me take this collagen drink. Haha. What a strange mom.

So I bought a box off her, and am now finishing my second box. The Fancl drink. All natural. Wen said that's the most expensive in the market. I don't know about that, never looked around the prices. But I remember ten years ago, mind you, ten years ago when we were in the early twenties, I had a classmate who was on Imedeen, and her skin glowed too.

So I am convinced that there is some effect, to a certain extent. For sure, my skin does feel less dehydrated. And smoother. And I'm still waiting for someone who hasn't seem me for a long time to comment on how good I look. Haha. Maybe that may not happen. :P

The hubby wasn't convinced that taking collagen worked. He was reminded of some examination question which was posed to him when he was a student and the answer was that there was no scientific proof that it worked by taking collagen. Heck, who cares. He agreed that if you think it does, then just do it. I loved my hubby when he is like that. Heh. After all, now that I'm not working, he is paying for it, in a way.

Beauty, to a woman, is the most important thing. For sure, I don't want to look old and haggard, and it is very easy to become that when you are so busy looking after the kids and don't go to work anymore.

Man, I'm becoming a very Auntie-like figure now. Always in T-shirts and jeans/shorts and hanging out with all the old aunties and old uncles at the fruit section in the NTUC-supermarket, waiting for the store-assistants to bring out the fresh apples and oranges. Then all of us will elbow each other and pick and choose the apples and oranges. It's kinda fun actually. And I'll have my girl with me in my carrier doing just that. And most people thought she is a little boy. Duh.

If I have my way ...

To me, there are a few things which are very important for a young child.

Routine. Self-discipline. And good habits. These are three things which I can think of right now.

A set routine is very important. Bedtime. By 9pm, all lights out, and it is time to sleep. I read somewhere that 14 days make a habit. A bedtime story before sleeping. In the morning, all to wake around 7 to 8am. I'm quite flexible. Routine. Breakfast, shower and brushing of teeth. To teach the child to tidy up his own bed if possible (got maid though). Hmm, will do the bed thing as next target. I'm starting to teach my son to make his own breakfast. Because I make my own breakfast, the maid's version is always not very consistent.

Routine. Lunch. After lunch, nap. This has been quite a failure for the past week. I'm not sure why the son doesn't want to sleep anymore in the afternoon. Actually I know why. Because I'm not available to read him a book and lull him to sleep. And that is because the daugther is now demanding quite a lot of attention from me as well. She cries when the maid carries her nowadays. The son cannot sleep when I do not give him my full attention.

If I have my way.

Self-discipline. Not too many toys. Playtime with toys is to be restricted to at most one hour (or two?). There is a time to play, a time to read, a time to learn, a time to write.

My son has too many distractions. Too many types of toys. Too many Lego. And my time with him is limited. His sister is becoming just as demanding. And he simply has too many toys.

So I'm quietly keeping some of his toys away, and slowly, hopefully, I can restrict his playtime.

If I have my way.

There is a time to play Lego. There should be time to do other things like go for a walk. Like get some fresh air, like go for a swim. Like go and learn to bike. Like go and jump and run in the fields. It's unhealthy to spend all days indoors playing Lego.

I cannot do all these with him, because I have to carry his sister as well.

There should be a time for him to do some drawing. Do some colouring. Practice recgonising his name. Learn some letters and words. Read. Listen to music. Practise his violin.

I cannot do all these with him, because there are simply too many toys.

Sometimes I feel so helpless. And that is why I cannot be a SAHM. Because I cannot teach my child self-discipline.

Good habits.

Not to be late. I cannot teach my child good habits too.

Good habits.

Meals is to be taken at the table. Another failure.

Good habits.

To eat by himself. Unless I can bear to see him play with his food and eat very little.

I can think of a lot more. But I cannot teach my child all these.

Sometimes I do not have the time or patience or energy to sit with him to do certain things. There are a lot of things which are easier said than done. And sometimes I need my own time to do my own things. So I cannot be all self-sacrificing, so that's another reason why I need a safety line back to work.

Because the guilt is less when you have an excuse.

If I have my way.

He shouldn't be sleeping at midnight and watching my brother play his violent computer games.

What are the grandparents thinking of?

And that is one big reason why I am not working right now. If I have my way.

Although my dear father loves to criticise me the way I handle my kids, and I cannot return the favour.

The pot calling the kettle black.

And I try to change. It's difficult to change. I know my faults. And that is why I keep my mouth shut when he does the same thing I do (although he will criticise me for it).

My mother will make sure my kids have good meals. And that's about it. She cares a lot about them, but my parents do not understand Routine, Self-discipline and Good habits. I want my kids to have these, but I'm not sure if I can do it.

Do parents actually think of all these when they bring up their kids?

Adventures with my two kids, sans grandma.

So there I was, telling my girlfriend, that coffee has absolutely no effect on me. I still sleep like an angel after drinking coffee. Boy, have I spoken too fast! The Iced-vanilia latte at starbucks is very toxic to my system. I was on a roll throughout the night shift and am still wide awake right now. Otherwise usually at this time of the night, I'm in la-la-land.

Or maybe because my mom is back from her lovely holiday, and it feels so good to be able to leave both kids with her. The kids are a big handful, she says. She's definitely not like some friends/colleagues mothers who are so keen to have grandchildren to take care and play with. Sheesh.

So anyway, the past one week was just me and two kids. On Monday, I did an incredible unprecedented brave thing. I brought both kids with me to Wen's convocation. Just me, and my two lovely kids. I forgot that my mom was going off for holiday and when my friend asked me to go to her convo, I was so honoured. Heh. Yep I immediately agreed. It was also a good thing that by Monday, both were already recovering from their flu. So after my son's school that day, we mrted down to Chijmes, baby in carrier, and son hogging the pram. Fortunately, both were very cooperative that day, with baby sleeping all the way there, and son was rather excited to find out more about this convo-thingy.

It was raining cats and dogs when we got out of the mrt. I remember cursing the skies, especially when it had been so hot a week ago. Couldn't cross the road, and finally took a cab to get across the road. Nowadays cab drivers are the pits. Guy couldn't even get out of his cab to help me keep the pram in his trunk. I dumped the pram in the seat with me, and refused to help him close his trunk. I think he drove off with his trunk hanging open. And when we reached the destination, he also wouldn't help me get my pram out. Maybe I should do what hubby does, and refused to pay until everything is out of the cab. It took two guys waiting for a cab to help me unload kids and stuffs. Sheesh. Why should we be paying for such lousy service? I think next time when I'm in a taxi-queue, I shall just go to the next taxi in the queue if the taxi-driver is so unhelpful. Hey, we're free to choose the taxi in a queue right?

So the convo went quite smoothly. Fortunately, C was there to play with the kids. He was as bored as any other sane person can be in a convo. Haha. It was a good thing it wasn't too long a convo. The local chaps gave quite a long-winded speech, which we basically tuned out, and the son was full of questions. I think his voice was a bit loud in the otherwise hushed hall. Towards the end, my son was asking me about the food. Food was being laid out for the reception, and he was like eyeing the food and telling me clearly that 'Mummy, I'm hungry.' When I told him that the food is not ready yet, he observed astutely, that 'Mummy, there are already people at the table, can we go and get the food too?' Unfortunately, those were the waiters so he still had to wait. All in all, my kids behaved beautifully, and I am so proud of them!

C carried the daughter quite a bit during the long speeches, when she woke up and son insisted that it was his turn to be carried by me. I think my daughter was quite taken by C making faces at her. She must be thinking whether it would be a good idea to pull his big nose or his mouth. I think if he held her any longer, she would have done so. Warning: her nails are really sharp! Even after cutting. First, she will pat pat the said place. That is actually to guage the striking distance. Then without warning, she will shoot out her little fingers and grab said place on face with all her might and sharp claws. I think I managed to save C from having such a pleasant experience. Boy, he should thank me!

The son was mighty happy with all the gassy orange juice. I think he fell sick again after that beacuse of all the cold drinks. Arrgh.

On Tuesday, I called my father to bring us out for lunch. The two of them weren't behaving very well at all. It was quite bad. Both were whiny and weepy. I bribed my son with sweets (and that added to him being sick again too). My girl just wanted me to carry her. Nowadays when she sees me carrying her brother, she'll look at me with this super hurt look in her face and she'll cry and cry. Sheesh. And the son is sometimes so totally stuborn and refused to let his sister be carried. Sheesh.

That was bad.

On Wednesday and Thursday, I hid at home and asked my father to send the son back from school. Heh. Excuse being the daughter is sick from all the 'outings'. :P

On Friday, I peeked at my son in his school and brought them both back in a cab. Am still not confident in driving, let alone driving with two naughty kids.

So one week passes by in a flash. Without Grandma. I survived. We survived. Yay.

*****
It's not easy to be a stay-at-home mother. I think it takes a lot of self-sacrifice to be able to do so. To give up one's career and to dedicate one's time to the kids. It's really difficult. And I think the whole reason for it is that there is very little appreciation going on.

What I mean to say is this. When one is working, one reaps the 'rewards' of the hard work. In terms of monetery returns, in terms of performance bonus, in terms of bonus etc. There is a freedom, and a certain detachment, as in if you don't like your job, you're free to find another job. At the end of the day, it's just a job. If you work hard and enjoy your work, you get rewarded, your boss appreciate your work, your clients need you to do your work, and there's always a bonus to look forward to, or a nice paycheck.

But a stay-at-home mother has no value. To the kids, they will not appreciate your pressence, because they do not have a basis for comparision. Ask any people out there who survived a working mother environment, would they have preferred if their mother did not work and is there for them all day? I doubt these people will turn out any worse off than they are now, well, at least for those who have their heads screwed on correctly. Or if they have good grandparents taking care of them, they won't feel the difference.

To the kids, they wouldn't understand the importance of having home-cooked meals. Of coming home to a home where your mother is always there. I never understood it either until I was so much older. When I thought about it, I realised how frightening it was if I were to go home and there was no one at home. But to the kids who have always been going home to an empty house, they wouldn't understand the difference of coming home and the mother is there. It's all about perspective.

I know of kids who couldn't take that kind of adjustment when their mother went back to work. It is kind of depressing.

But what I'm trying to say is that, the kids do not know and understand and appreciate this, so being a stay-at-home-mother, one do not get that kind of 'instant-appreciation of your self-worth' from the people you hang out with (in the case of working - your clients, your boss etc, in the case of being a SAHM, your kids, your spouse etc).

Hmm, am I making any sense?

So besides the kids, the spouse has also the responsibility of assigning value to a SAHM. If the spouse thinks that, hey, staying at home all day and not working is so cool and so relaxing, then that's where the pitfall is. There's no break for a mother. And it's not easy having that kind of freedom when you are working to being changed to a SAHM. You don't get paid, you don't get appreciated, you don't get cpf, you don't get appreciated. In society's eyes (i.e, the govt), you are not contributing to the economy, so you're just a parasite. If society looks at you that way, how can you have any self-worth after that?

What the mother needs to hear is this: Darling, stop working and take care of the kids and the family. Give them a good headstart, good nutritious meals. I will give you an allowance, and we'll try to work out some time off for yourself to have some personal time.

A break to keep anyone sane.

Nobody says that anymore.

Because, working life is so stressful. Standard of living has gone up. Working is stressful. Working is not fun anymore. Worklife has its share of politics and evilness. People are not friendly and people are getting retrenched. Money is the new happiness in life. What is success in life all about? Will you be happy if you have no money? I'm also afriad to find that out.

But I realised that I don't need a lot of money to survive.

Although I have fallen into the trap of wanting the best for my kids. And the best is not always a good thing.

For me, sometimes I'm not so sure if I can continue being a SAHM for my kids. And that is the only reason which is stopping me from handing in my resignation.

Blessed

My daughter is so big now. She is growing so fast everyday. I am so blessed to have the time to spend with her. Simply lying down with her and watching her sleep. Her eyes would flutter and her lips would twitch into a smile when she had a good dream. She's so happy, her smile is the sweetest. She's just so cute! And everyone says so too. :)

At eight months, my dear girl can sit very well, and is starting to crawl. She still crawls on her tummy, but she can crawl forward very fast when she is motivated to do so, especially when you put a handphone in front of her. Unlike my son at that age, my girl loves putting everything in her mouth, so she is being motivated by greed to get the object in front of her and to put it into her mouth.

She has two lower front teeth, and boy, they are very sharp. Can pierce two holes in your hand when you are not watching. My girl loves to play with her brother. She loves to watch her brother, and always eyes his toys. She isn't interested in her own toys but dying to taste-test her big brother's logo. Yum yum, she must be thinking. Why is my big brother's toys all so delicious?

The big brother goes to school everyday, and his teacher was saying that he daydreams quite a bit when it comes to do work, and during Chinese lessons, he would tend to chit-chat with his friends. Oh dear, lots of bad habits. Hahaha. Otherwise he is still quite shy. So there I was telling his grandpa that we ought to tell his teacher to 'punish' him when he talks out of turn, and the smart little aleck heard me and told me in no uncertain terms that he wants to change class (and change teachers). I forsee trouble when he goes to primary and secondary school next time!

Then I was reading Smootie's blog, and she said her three-year-old son can write and spell. Arrgh, am I going to be a kiasu mother and run around in circles and force my son to be the same?

*bangs head*

*****

We are overwhelmed

The hubby, over a sleepless night, one night, ordered a whole lot more Lego, which came in around 5pm today. Free delivery okay. 4000 pieces, windows and doors, wheels and more wheels. The son's eyes went as round as saucers. I think maybe by the end of the year we would have one of everything. Sheesh.

So I was telling hubby that maybe we should move into a bigger house where we can leave one room just for all the Lego we have.

Yep. That'll be nice right? We can have the train set too.

For me, I shall buy more nice Muji boxes for storage. Now got good excuse. Haha.

*****
Sometimes it's hard not to be envious of Wen. Oh boy, she is really one successful girl. Her hard work really pays off. It's really impressive the things she has acheived. An MBA, a yoga teacher's training cert, an online business as a hobby etc etc. Perhaps the next thing I'd know would be her being featured in some magazine. Heh. Although she has already appeared on the national TV, I guess being in some magazine isn't that a big deal. :P And it's amazing how she can land herself in such a well paying job even when the economy is down in the dumps. That's what I call really fortunate. Or maybe it's her destiny. She always tells me that her fate is to work very hard to earn her money. Me? I doubt I can ever work that hard.

As it is, with two kids, I am already being overwhelmed. That's what comes of being a Taurus. That is, we don't like working too hard to achieve our comfort zone. :P So I was telling my mom just now that how can I be expected to teach the son since I have to take care of the daughter as well? Who is a big handful as well. So she must come more often and help me! haha.

The son is so Lego-crazed that he doesn't even want to sit still and do any work. Work consists of getting him to write his name (which he did) and do some drawing and colouring (which he didn't really want to). Short attention span. Not interested. Picked up the crayons, squibble a bit and drop the crayon and started walking around the room.

I think next time he isn't going to do very well in school. In the schools here that is. The way I see it, exceling in schools doesn't necessary make you a success in life in the future. So I'm not too worried. As long as he's building all kinds of super duper strange Lego creations. And living his life to the fullest.

Fun February

Today I went out to have some time for myself. First a really nice spa, lunch with Wen and a really needed hair-cut and a really nice hair treatment and dinner with Min. Bliss. My hairstylist took one look at my hair and asked if I cut my fringe myself. Gee, was my cutting so obviously amaturish? I was quite proud of my fringe. The last time I trim my fringe myself, my colleague complimented me on it. :P

One would have thought that now that I'm not working, I would have more time to go out and pamper myself. The opposite is more true! I bring my girl everyday when I send the son to school, and juggling her in the clinic is no joke. She's getting real heavy and she wants to be carried all the time. And she doesn't sleep soundly. She wakes up at the slightest cough the hubby makes, at the slightest squeak the door creaks, and when you put her down as well. Did I ever say that she was a sleepyhead? I think I take all my words back. The only time she sleeps very soundly is at night, all the way to the morning.

These kids can really do a one hundred and eighty degrees turn on you!

Sometimes when my son is good, he'll take out all his toys (mainly his lego nowadays) and pass some to his little sister for her to 'play' (mainly she'll put them into her mouth). Other times, he'll get jealous and cry and whine like last night when I gave his sister his pants to wear. (can't find her pants!) The son started crying and saying that he didn't want meimei to wear his pants. Sheesh. My daugther loves looking at her big brother. She'll laugh and smile whenever she sees her brother walk pass, and she'll crane her neck to see what he is up to. I hope my two kids will be very close to each other as they grow older.

The son is getting very used to school nowadays. But his favourite thing to do in school is basically to stone and to observe what the other kids are doing. He doesn't really like participating in what the rest of the kids do, but rather stay quietly in one corner and watch the world goes by. I'm not really too worried, because when he gets home, he'll do all those crazy things which he was supposed to do at school. What a strange little boy. Too much worries and anxieties in such a little brain.

Man, my legs ache from all the walking. Yep, just the walking around town! I'm not so young anymore. *sigh* Sometimes I register pts and am amazed that they're born in the same year as me. They look soo old. I'm so lucky I don't really look my age. hahaha. But sometimes it's not hard to feel my age. Especially when one has two kids. I don't really feel like going back to work anymore, but it's hard not to have earning power. I'm still at two minds about it, that's why I haven't called to confirm what I'm going to do next month, and I should really call them soon. Life is really good right now, and I wish I could continue like this for a longer while still. But the reality is that things may not always be this good, and the practical side of me screams that I must not indulge in this lifestyle for too long. Unless my hubby supports me wholely, but he's not the kind who would. I just hope that he appreciates me rushing back to buy him nice dinner after my hair treatment and before my dinner with Min.

It's hard to explain, but one must never take things for granted.

I need to buy myself a nice pedicure set. Just cut my sole - ouch. Using a pair of blunt sicssors. Don't ask. *mutter*

Finally, just a quick note, mind going numb from sleepyness: My girl can sit up very well now. She can almost crawl forward (now she's doing the backwards crawl), can almost lift her body up in the correct crawl position. She can pull herself to standing by pulling on my shirt, but usually by pulling on my hair. Strong grip. Strong legs. When in the car, she likes to be carried upright to see the world goes by. She will then stick out her tongue and drool as she looks out of the window. Okie, maybe not so much drool nowadays. :P She poos once every two to three days, and her poo is really really sticky. Just the other day she pooed into the tub while my mom was bathing her. Very very sticky poo. Now I know: using wet wipes to clean poo is so much easier than washing poo off the backside. Really really really sticky and slimy. So slimy that you wonder if you manage to wash all the poo off. So sticky that it sticks on your foot and you don't even know it until half the day later. Okie I exaggerate, maybe about 15 mins later, after walking half round the house. *bleah*

My girl looks like a little boy. My brother on MSN asked "who's that little boy" when he saw her on the video. I think it's because of her wispy hair and her tendency to wear her brother's pants. She likes to sleep on her tummy and she likes to open her mouth WIDE. Have not started weaning her yet, because my mom has not tried weaning her yet, and I'm just too lazy to feed her anything else except breastmilk. :P

She likes apples and oranges. She doesn't like baby food, those kind of nestle rice dunno what where you mix the rice powder with milk or water to get a goory paste. She was so excited when I made it for her the other day, and was all but grabbing my hand with the spoon to put it in her mouth. After one taste of it however, her face changed colour immediately, and she practically pursed her lips and turned her head, angry that she had been tricked to eat something so awful. My mom says that if you continue to try to feed her that goory paste, she'll scream high murder on you and cry like she's been bullied. Trust me, she can cry really really loud. With geunine tears. :)

I love her very much, just as much as my naughty son. :) She's very fussy with who carrying her at night, only myself or my mom and not her papa, which she proceeds to cry bloody murder too, and genuine tears. I think my son was less fussy at that age, all he wants is his milk.

Yep, I still love her very very much. :)

Seven months old

My little girl is now seven months old. Well, almost a week ago, that is. Her pearly whites peeked out admid lots of gnawing and salivating, but she survived without any fever or unhappiness on everybody's part. Her big smile is still ever so sweet with a dripping nose to boot. Two bottom teeth. Yay! Big brother, now I can bite you back!

Otherwise, I'm working at the clinic yet again, because everyone else who is smart enough has gone on a holiday. I miss the little one, not the big terror, since he broke his lego the one hundredth time, and I had problems fixing it back. Got a bit upset with him, but I guess legos are supposed to be broken and fix again yeah? Just didn't like that part where he threw his toys all over the place.

My girlfriends' birthdays are here again. Two on the same day, but fortunately they don't celebrate on the same day. Lunch on Sat with PM and Min was nice, and conversation was quite good. Min and her two nephews, PM and her niece and me and my two kids. Who says married women don't get along with singles? haha.

It's a quiet day today, whoever says our business is recession-proof is really an idiot. Seriously, people will reconsider calling in sick when they are facing axing, and they'll probably grind their teeth and wait in long queues to get cheap services. But looking at the way people are still out shopping, hmm .. one wonders if they're rich or what.

So we have KFC for dinner just now, and I requested for a cripsy thigh and an original wing. Just what came back was totally the opposite. :( So much good it does for my throat and my nose. I'm falling sick yet again.

The Real World

Reality sinks in when the paycheck for this month did not come in. One has to tighten one's belt very much. No more impromptu Japanese dinners or dim sum lunches, or spending money without blinking an eye. There is actually a feeling of responsibility of how the money is to be spent. Goodbye to the carefree days.

The plus part is that I get to spend more times with the kids, which sometimes I think is driving me mad too. Every morning, we'll drop the older in his class, then go to the clinic with the younger in tow. If she's in a good mood, I get to clear a few things, order a few things and write a few cheques. More often than not, she's been quite uncooperative, and my hands and shoulders ache from carrying her. We then proceed to pick the older up and have lunch together, and depending on my mood, we'll either cab home or go back together. Instructions are usually given to the maid to prepare dinner, and I roll up my sleeves and start cooking the moment I get home. Feed the kids, bathe them and put them to sleep by 9. Damn tiring.

The older is learning the violin, and I got a bad feeling that it'll probably not last. He's getting so stuborn and uncooperative as well, and all he wants to do everyday is to play his Lego. Fix this and that for him which he proceeds to destroy after a while, then have to fix more.

My parents have been recharged after a 5-day cruise holiday, so I spent the whole of yesterday and last night watching The Twelve Kingdoms. That is my only entertainment and so-called 'holiday'. When was the last time I've caught such a captivating and interesting anime? I'm so happy today, and a bit tired. :P

Life is still quite promising, despite not working.

Year 2009

Happy New Year.

Why do people say that? It's going to be a really bad year this year. I hope things won't get too bad for us though, what with us becoming a single income family. *sigh* But kids can't stop growing. And time is the a luxury.

The son has started not wearing diapers to bed anymore. I think out of 7 nights, there are 'accidents' in 4 nights. And we use lots of those blue sheets too. Hmm. It's very hard to wake him up in the middle of the night to pee. He goes all jellyfish on me. And he's really really too heavy to be carried. We have to make sure he pees before sleeping, but that doesn't always work very well.

Now to get his bedtime back to normal. By nine-thirty, it's all lights off. Don't care if he's not sleepy, we just lie in bed and pretend to sleep. If meimei is cooperative, the son usually sleeps quite soon after that. Otherwise, have to go to plan B.

Don't ask me what plan B is. I'm losing lots of hair nowadays.

We spent our New Year's eve at the Fullerton. With a $500 plus plus plus per head dinner. Definitely over-rated, but still very nice. I was enjoying my very fat and big piece of foie gras and sipping my delicious red wine, when suddenly my girl started crying and I got a bit agitated and stuffed the whole piece into my mouth. Oh, my regrets! Never never ever stuff foie gras into mouth! I almost gagged. Arrgh.

I was agitated not because of my girl's crying. My threshold has become very high. But it was more because the MIL was casting disapproving looks. I can't remember exactly what happened, but I think dear hubby was carrying her at that time. I could feel evil curses down my back. Hahah.

The son was extremely well behaved though. Ate his dinner properly all by himself like a real gentleman. He got expensive taste. Definitely. He got extremely shy when he saw so many people, and took a long time to warm up to his cousins. By that time, it was time to go home, and he wanted to stay overnight with them. After the fireworks at the rooftop, he was all ready to sleep with them in their bed, but there was a catch. Mummy must stay with him too. Whoops. It was an hour's jam out of the place though.

As with all good things, they don't last. History repeated itself. Everyone was happy during the festive season, hubby felt that it was good to get together with his family, who hasn't seen the niece and newphew for a long time. I mean, if one doesn't try, then one's relations would disappear. However a few days later, the angry phone call came in (the last time last year was a personal visit), and everybody got upset again. I really wonder what she is thinking of. Bipolar I think. Too happy cannot. Must always be angry. I am not really involved this time, but I bet I'm the evil wife all over again.

I'm not upset at all about it, but I'm recording this to remember. It's good to remember these things. I bet she got worried because after hearing that I'm going to stop work for a while. Yep, I'll steal all the money from her. Shessh.

I'm starting cloth nappies for my daughter in the day. A bit messy when she poos, but otherwise quite ok. Am thinking of getting bumwear for her, but still considering it since going cloth is supposed to be cutting costs, and buying expensive bumwear might just defeat that purpose. Oh well. Will have to get another diaper cover though. She's still on diapers at night and when we go out, so may not be a good idea to get bumwear after all.

My daugther is so cute! And so pretty. Heh. I've got quite a lot of photos of her too, just that I'm not going to put any in my blog nowadays. So check out my facebook (if I ever get my lazy bum to post) or my com. Heh. She smiles the ever sweetest smile and is sooo cuddly. I don't show any favourtism to either of them, it's just that the son is at the demanding stage and so I tend to spend more energy with him. For the girl, I have so much fun buying pretty and expensive clothes and toys for her. heh heh. And she isn't so demanding yet, so basically it seems like I'm spending less time with her. However, I'm not working now as opposed to was working the last time, so I think the time I gave to both of them would probably be about the same after all.

Things that go bump in the night

How to drive your husband crazy.

1. Complain of pain and refusing to take antibiotics.
2. Complain of pain and says that antibiotics is left at home.
3. Complain every few seconds that MANual car-ride is very bumpy.
4. Complain that people advance with technology and going MANual is not advancing with technology.

Heh heh heh.

My own fault for not putting my foot down and insist on auto. What got into me the other day? Seeing dear hubby's so excited happy face when he dreams of a MANual car. Sheesh, I couldn't even make my way out of the car-park. Totally forgotten how to drive. What clutch biting? HAR?

*faint*

***
Things that make me roll my eyes.

Come up in front of me and pause. Like man, can I read your mind? Do you want to see the doctor or the dentist? Some people can only function by prompting with questions. New or existing? Some people starts speaking very fast immediately, without giving name. Hey I'm not the doc here! Some people just say: I want to get the medicine I took the last time. Yeah right, like who the hell are you. How the hell do I know what you took the last time?

I'm not in the bestest of moods right now. Forgot to buy Leonidas chocolates yesterday. Forgot to buy a few other things too. Not a big deal, but my back is aching like crazy and my sinus is also hurting. It makes you sour.

I feel like nice Japanese dinner but all we had was burger and soggy fries .. and coke? *sigh*

Otherwise, Wen gave me a very nice cheeeena teapot with very nice chhheeeeena teacups and I gave her very eeeeengland mint tea. I got so many teapots now I should buy a display case and display all my teapots! Which I hardly use!

And I hardly have time to drink tea except for those dunk-and-drink types. Shessh, I'm hardly at home. If I'm at home, I'm hardly having the time to make nice tea and drink!

My daughter

My daughter is almost six months old. I realised that I hardly write anything about her, or take a lot of photos about her. That's what happen to a second kid I guess, but I love her just as much as my son. She's so cute, smiles so sweetly, and is soo cuddly. I love being with her, lying next to her and watching her sleep, and playing and tickling her and seeing her smile.

But my back really ache from all that carrying. My shoulders too. She. Is. Very. Heavy. At 8.15kg and not even 6 months yet.

Bathing her is becoming more and more of a challenge nowadays. She can sit upright quite well in the small, no, tiny bathtub, and boy, she loves to grab the wash towel and suck on it. With all the bath water and soap. Yep. Yep. And she'll be very upset if you pry it out of her hands. She loves to bathe though and is always happy in the water. I usually bathe her twice a day in the tub. I think for my son, at that age, my hubby and I were doing the car-wash routine. One holds him upright, the other wash, soap and rinse. I think I understand how that comes about. Daughter is now extremely squirmy in the tub. And extremely slipperly to handle for one person. I think she drinks quite a lot of tub water too, when I bathe her. :P

My dear darling daughter sleeps throughout the night from day one. She is a real sleepyhead. She loves to sleep. She can really sleep. But nowadays she doesn't seem to be able to sleep well, especially during the day. Keeps waking up. Like now. Gosh.

My daughter loves to put everything into her mouth, unlike her brother, who never put things in his mouth. She is curious about everything, and has learn to flip from back to tummy like an expert. I think she's going to learn to crawl very soon, seeing how she would stretch her hands out for her toys (and her brother's toys) and kick her legs in order to get what she wants. She also can sit upright for quite a long time, and she loves being upright. In a way, she is more active than her brother, always trying to get things (to put in her mouth).

Dear daughter makes the cutest sound. She is very vocal when it comes to telling you what she wants. Except that no one knows what she's saying. She loves to sing when she hears music, and she sure loves to complain a lot when she's being ignored. Darling daughter loves to look at her big brother, but sometimes she's afraid of him especially when he shouts all of a sudden. She is also wary of him when he comes too close, as she has been bitten by him a couple of times. My baby girl can really cry too. Very loud, inconsolable cries if she's angry or hurt. Otherwise she's always full of smiles and happy sounds.

I love my dear little girl very much.

Family and Friends

Today, we went to my aunt's place for dinner. A whole day with both kids out of my hair. The son was very happy with my cousins. There were Lego, drawings, and what-nots. The daughter was being happily carried by all my aunts. There was good food, nice air-con room where I can surf and play all day. When was the last time I felt so bored?

Haha.

Bored. Bored enough to be playing games in facebook. :P That's what someone commented. I should have just taken the chance to go for a spa huh.

Anyway, it makes me realise that I'm really happy to have my two kids. I think I will not exchange anything for my life right now. Even though, sometimes I have regrets, of not being able to go far in my career, of not having time to do my stuffs like study a Masters, or ... I dunno. But it all pales in comparision when at the end of the day I have a darling husband and two darling little kids.

Come next year I will stop work for a while and spend time with the kids. It's a bit hard to let go, since no work = no money. It means I have to really cut down on spending. And going out. And I hope I will not end up being too down and dumpy. Humf. I shall play more piano and learn violin with my son, and carefully consider the options of what I really want in life.

It's really hard, in a way.

***
Min is away in HK for a much needed holiday. Shessh, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I miss talking to her online!

Nowadays, the number of friends I have seem to be dwindling.

:(

Learning points

I've learnt that, when writing (or trying to write) a novel ...

1. one should not rush the story. It comes as it wants to.

2. writing in first person narrative is difficult.

3. 50 000 words is a killer. It's actually more than a hundred over pages. Was it two hundred? I forgot.

4. writing from existing characters is difficult. Because one has to keep to character, otherwise why write using existing characters?

5. I'm really bad at my tenses.

Posting here, because no face to go post in the LJ. Haha.

I'm that kind of person who writes a few lines then go and check the word count. Haha. I think I may not continue writing the story after November. No incentive. No motivation. As it is, I dunno why I'm even continuing to write, since there's no way I can magick up 40k words in 3 days, especially I have to work for the next few days.

I'm not even thinking of editing the story yet.

*****
The other thing which I had been thinking about.

It takes a certain kind of person and age to like a gucci bag.

:P

I've been shopping around with my mother, because she wants to get a bag. She said that 20 years ago, she bought a gucci bag for $300. She was shocked at the prices now. I said that a nice leather Tods bag cost over 2k. What does she expect? Duh.

So we went shopping at Gucci. I think I might start to like Gucci bags too. Heh. Wen already got one right? I want one too. :P Someday. Maybe when I'm slightly older. It takes a mature (aka taitai) look to carry a Gucci bag.

*****
The last thing.

I was a bit irritated. No, very much irritated, when my mom told me that somebody said that in times of this economic crisis, people should dig out their savings and spend. Spend. Spend. Spend. To stimulate the economy. Go for spas, fine dining etc etc. Can't quite remember what exactly, mom told me that quite a while back.

I was quite pissed off because.

1. We don't really need you to tell us what to do, do we?

2. More importantly. Of all the things to say. It's true that we should spend money to stimulate the economy, but to tell us to dig into our savings is rather ridiculous right? After all, savings are for like old-age, health-care or for more important stuffs, and not frivolous stuffs. And what with all the increase in basic necessities, GST not even lowered, and the risk of retrenchment, or pay-cuts or people already losing money in shares (not for me, mind you), I think it's rather insensitive and ... well, it just doesn't go down well with me. I mean, after all, you aren't going to take care of us when we're old and enfeebled right? You'd rather agree to euthanasia and for everyone to work until we die. Do not fall sick. Do not pass goal. You are to work for the economy only. And work for our pay.